DOMESTIC MYSTERY

Two flowerpot sit 40 feet from each other, flanking the pool. It's about 8 feet to the ground. One has several inches of water at the top of the pot, which has always easily drained in the past. The saucer is dry but it has a hole for water to escape, assuming it makes it to the bottom of the pot, which it always has.

The other pot is dry.

We don't think it rained. If it did, overnight, how did one pot get wet the other not? By the way, the seat cushions about 6 feet from the pot in question, are dry.

- Why one pot? Incidentally, both pots have identical soil.
- How?
- Cue the X files theme.

WIRELESS TOES

You bet! No bluetooth here. Yesterday the doc removed the wires from my toes. The wires were longer in real life than in my imagination. Removal did not hurt - I don't know if the nerves nearby were lost in the accident or what, but I can write I am really happy they are GONE!!! Why? So I can begin the process of reverting to shoes.

Doc said I can expect some pain, and indeed I do. I can tell from the little pulses of discomfort which periodically have visited, that putting weight - after 8 weeks - on it and the surrounding tissue, blown out and healing bones, will hurt.

On the other hand, he pulled off the toenail and I didn't feel it. So clearly some nerves are there, some not. I was told 2 of 4 were left. I was also told this was one of the 'miracle' saves the doc has performed this year. I don't think he was bragging.

So literally, it's now the next step.

THE CHRISTMAS LETTER

At Christmas I used to send out spoofs of things - KEEP THIS TICKET tickets, balloons, glitter - accompanied by stories I'd make up to justify the nonsense (like: The LEGEND OF THE LITTLE BALLOON BOY.) At some point this morphed into The Christmas Letter which was a spoof of the 'brag' or 'keeping in touch' letters you often receive from old friends at holiday time.

Terri tries to keep me in check. But I really want to loon out creatively. When I write about fake family members, she, or her sense of humor, asks for an edit.

This year, I am stumped. What I wrote so far is too typical.

What if Santa was a Vampire?

I know. Over the top. Sorry. Again.

NEW CAR

BEFORE

I am just 20 minutes away from going to pickup my new car. No doubt pictures will follow... I am excited and it will be a pleasure to get out from under the 92,000 mile 'doubts' which, like a tiny oil leak, make me wonder what is ready to explode or fail.

Over the course of a car you get used to these things (that clicking in the dash that seems to be a shorted cycle/uncycle thing in the heating system) - that engine noise, the judder when backing up or turning sharply, the broken latch, the door you have to try to open twice. It adds up and stresses a bit. Under warranty and new, whatever it is, is fixed free and will not be ignored.

I have half-expected my AC to quit too - not an issue now that it's fall, but quite the deal (and EXPENSIVE) in the summer... why? Because it'd be so darn impossible to ignore!

So, in an hour I will be at the dealer and done with my ol' A6... it's been good to me and I'll miss it, sorta, but the NEW Supercharged A6 will endear itself, no doubt.

AFTER

Nice ride! There's a lot to get used to but I am already loving the Supercharged 300HP engine. It steps OUT and I really wanted that! Overall, the new A6 is comfortable and equipped (Prestige package) with almost anything I can think of. It doesn't have the radar that actually takes over if you are about to crash but I'm not ready for that degree of robot. This does have voice command, and that could be fun.

As I pulled out of the dealer's lot, my old car was sitting there looking kind of dumpy - I hadn't washed it - why? If a car could look forlorn, that's what I saw in my last glimpse. I don't name cars or anthropomorphize them, but it looked sad.

Now to attack that owner's manual.

YOU CAN'T WALTZ IN A PNEUMATIC BOOT

With apologies to the late Roger Miller's YOU CAN'T ROLLERSKATE IN A BUFFALO HERD...

I am conflicted about today's doctor appointment. I hope he'll remove the wires from my toes. I hope it will not be a painful visit. I'm not sure those two thoughts can be reconciled.

Tomorrow marks the six week anniversary-? of my accident. Here's am update: with the boot on, I can walk around, drive, climb stairs. Without it on I can't do weight bearing, except on my heel. It's awkward. I feel trapped.

The toes look swollen. One wire is starting to move - and that's supposed to be a good sign of impending removal. The Big Toe wire, however, seems to be permanent.

I am eager to move away from this event. X-Rays today may tell the tale.

TIME WARP?

UNRETOUCHED PHOTOS OF TIME HOLE EXPERIENCED IN AUSTIN!

I had a hankering. Terri also had one. There's a chain restaurant with the sweetest, best ribs I have ever had. And they have one here. It's called HOUSTON'S, but I've eaten at their places in Houston, Nashville, Los Angeles (Westwood) and now here.

I have been a judge at various ribfests, as part of my radio days. I figure I have sampled at least 30 rib vendors. Houstons wins hands down.

But the odd thing is they bring you the plate, and that's a mighty rack on it. Then, Snap! - the plate is empty and there's a hole in time which would have been where the food was eaten. It - just - happens.

IS IT ME?

It could be me. Trauma has changed my perception, maybe? Or the weeks I sat imprisoned in that chair with my foot up gave me more media time than in a normal life. But I don't think that's it.

It seems to this observer of the scene that there's more whining, more overreaction, LOUDER reaction than before. How you define before is hard to pin down, but I'd qualify it as "recently."

Example: there were media reports of how so many parents were wary of and would avoid the H1N1 vaccine. Then, in the media's blink of an eye, there seemed to be grave concern about the supplies being inadequate. Every day you see lines of people awaiting their dose. CDC officials exclaiming it's in the pipeline.

It's as if the VOLUME has been turned up on public issues.

Afghanistan: the president is deciding. The president is taking too long. The no-election there has amped up the need for a quick decision.

What happened to carefully thought out decisions, weighing all sides of an argument? And often there IS no absolute right, just a best guess, a calculated risk. One to be set upon by the opposition.

To me, the screech is growing louder. It is disconcerting. It's unreasonable.

Let's not even consider the health care debate - although debate might be too non-partisan a word.

President Obama was initially seen as taking on too much, now taking on too little - waffling - indecisive - a rookie.

Has the opposition to anything become more media savvy? Has the media dumbed down?

CARS

After 10 years of service, it seemed a good time to replace my car, a 1998 Audi A6. I test drove the 2009 version, but decided to await the 2010 version - said to be the same as the 2009, with less immediate depreciation. I ordered one.

I should write I feel I had to do all the work and push the dealership (Roger Beasley, here in Austin) into ordering one for me. That was - maybe 6 weeks ago.

Friday, a salesman called, "YOUR CAR IS HERE!" "When do you want to pick it up?" I said, well, Saturday afternoon. We had to get the check, etc. After a while he called back - "Oh, sorry, it's not your car. We thought it was, then uncovered it..." "Where's MINE?" "Probably at the port (of Houston)."

And that's the care you get for north of $50,000.

Terri's INFINITY purchase (the car, not unlimited time) has been so much smoother, and we expect to have it next week. They have held her hand through the process.

Her Jaguar is still in service. (Charles Maund Jaguar) seem to have different stories each call - and there have been a batch of them. They claim to have the parts, and suggest they'll be done in a few days. Their whole demeanor has been strange. We think they are perhaps responsible for the engine damage under repair, since their earlier repairs failed within miles. And they never came up with the new Jag they wanted to let her drive while hers was in service.

WHY HAS THE BLOGGING SLOWED?

An accident has kept me from blogging lately, and likely will slow down what I have been doing, at least for the next month or so, although today is the second day back at the computer in over two weeks.

I was cutting the grass when I tripped over a rock while walking backwards - you know - you go forwards then backwards over some areas. As I went down on my back, the only thing I was holding was the handle of the lawn mower and I must have pulled it toward me. Over my foot.

I came very close to cutting off my toes.

So, long story short: 3 hour surgery, hospital, now home and long recovery. Maybe not long in the scheme of things, but at least another month to go. I am lucky that the surgeon saved my toes. They are still attached.

It's a day by day thing - believe me, getting back to the computer is a VERY big deal. I am going to blog the whole recovery period at once, when it's over, and am keeping myself busy with writing daily thoughts. Until yesterday, all via Blackberry. The notes give me the ability to get my mind off the long road ahead. As I heal I will gain energy and return to writing other things as they come into my life and thoughts. If you made it this far, thanks for hanging in!

THE ROOM WENT QUIET...

I can't remember where I read a description of someone walking into a room, and just by their presence, the room went silent.

I have witnessed this three times.

ONE: A crowded bar in Pittsburgh. I worked at KQV Radio, where the executives (separated from and far above the mere mortals on the ground floor of the Chamber of Commerce Building) had a sexy secretary/assistant, who had some sort of sexual charisma. She was like Joan in Mad Men, but not as busty.

Rumor was she was a 'possession' of one of the group VPs in NYC.

I distinctly remember watching this young woman go to the rest room in the crowded bar in which I found myself, and telling my table companion that he was about to experience something unusual. When she emerged, the crowded, noisy room, suddenly went quiet. Not dead quiet but it was like an audio eclipse. Amazing.

TWO:
I befriended Louie, a new salesman at CJFM in Montreal, who, at the time (1975) looked a lot like Robert Redford in his Butch Cassidy days. We'd go to lunch when our schedules permitted. Into a crowded (packed!) Brasserie we'd stroll in downtown Montreal, and the place would drop into a hush as every woman with a view stopped talking. It was dramatic, and since it never happened to me alone, well, ahem. This was not a one-time thing, either.

THREE:
Nina, the then-wife of Robert Rich (Rich Products, then-Rich Stadium where the Buffalo Bills played) was an account exec at a local Buffalo Ad Agency which represented our radio stations, WBEN and ROCK 102. I was the product guy so we'd have meetings. One winter day I took her to lunch, (or maybe she took me - yeah - that's the ticket!) and, as this good looking blonde in a full length fox coat walked into the restaurant, the place went quiet. The eyes were upon us.

Her son played a young Robert Redford in the movie The Natural which was filmed in Buffalo. There's some degrees-of-separation thing going in this post.

Once, on a snowy night, while we had much liquor with dinner at a steak house on my birthday, I told Louie how much I envied him. His response, as was typical for Louie, came straight from the heart, and surprised me. He said, "I know how I look. But I envy YOU. Women see me and think my mind is as good as my looks. I envy YOU who can go on the air and know what to say." Point made, Louie.

CONTRACTIONS

It seems as if many in the world have forgotten what the rules are for "it's" versus "its." I see errors in places where you'd have to figure they should know better. Ad copy. Newspaper stories. TV crawls.

"It's" is a contraction for IT IS. "Its" is a possessive, as in, "The dog chased its tail so many times there was a funnel in the floor where it used to go in circles."

I wonder about "It's" as a contraction for "it has." Maybe I was in the bathroom in school that day when Sister Mary Thorn-In-The-Crown Jesus Wore explained that one. It seems correct, as in, "It's been seven lonely years since the dust storm blew away my family."

Some contractions are pretenders: "I'm" for "I am" only saves one space. Who thought that up? It is hardly efficient. (You thought I'd use "it's," didn't you?)
"Couldn't" - another loser. Maybe it has to do with how people mumble? "That's" saves only one space. Stack those spaces up and you aren't going to hit the moon quickly, that's for sure.

In the same vein, there appear to be - by common usage - new rules. "CD's" meaning several of them, for instance. To me and the chain of Sisters Of Mercy authorized to feed my mind as a child, that's a POSSESSIVE case, as in "The CD's case was left on the floor where my foot found it and skated across the rug like Peggy Flemming in her day." But no, you see a flying apostrophe thrown after many words as if someone got a truckload wholesale, discovered they expire, and is trying to get them out of there before they stink up the place!

I am confused enough already.

LIVE FROM DARYL'S HOUSE

What if you could get to hang with a favorite musician? What if you could hear him play in his own home? What if he had a musician-guest in, every time you visited - some known, some not yet, some just coming up? All good!

Well, if Daryl Hall is one of your favorites, you can do all of that above. Posted every month via email, is a link to the latest.

Performances are mixed with banter; usually some guest chef is in the kitchen cooking something you can almost smell and certainly want to taste.

Each episode is about 8 songs long.

Daryl appeals to me more from his NON-Hall and Oates side, but perhaps that's because he's a 'blue-eyed soul (meaning: white) singer' and is from the environs of Philadelphia, my home town. So is Todd Rundgren, in this latest performance, which I enjoyed so much.

It's free. It's fun. There have been 23 of these so far.

Here's the link. Enjoy the show!

JAY LENO SHOW

I used to like Jay Leno. I've seen him live twice, but a long time ago, maybe 30 years for the first time, at Buffalo's Tralfamadore Cafe.

Since he took over the Tonight Show, not so much. I find his explanation of the jokes after the punchline irritating and pandering, showing either no confidence in the joke or the audience. He's much more likable showing off a car from his collection.

JAYWALKING is really People Are Funny spun one way. That's really old TV, People are ignorant, which I don't find funny, but worrisome. JAYWALKING wasn't part of the big premiere.

We tuned the new show last night, wanting to see how the retread would work. For me, it doesn't. The montage opening is weak and it rolls along familiar tracks afterwards, with a tad more haste.

But who's the fool here? How many tens of millions has Leno made so far? He was popular - is popular - works hard. Jay is not the fool.

I believe NBC will regret its decision to drop 5 hours of prime time for this discount-programming. That's the game - cut expenses/make money. A week of Leno costs less than ONE hour of episodic TV. The first day will rate highly from curiosity, the first week, too. Then the show will settle. NBC will call it success if they can turn a profit.

I won't watch.

After the less than overwhelming open, Jay comes out and shakes hands with audience members, then does jokes. There's a new set, but that opening format looks like his old show after-the-news to me. I watched enough to know I didn't like it - or would watch occasionally to catch a guest.

Last night had a LAME bit where Jay 'asked' President Obama questions which then showed answers from another interview. Har har.

Guest Jerry Seinfeld - still funny - should have been given more uninterrupted time. He 'brought on' Oprah via Video which was another waste of time (as Jay was unable to get a word in...) Har.

A comic then 'entertained' a car-wash patron, singing to her as she waited. Reportedly, there are other folks on board for more out-of-studio 'bits.'

Kanye West choked up trying to 'splain why he did what he did, interrupting that poor Taylor Swift at the MTV video music award show the night before. That was semi-poignant and semi-literate at the same time. Maybe if he rapped it, it would have worked? This was almost surreal, especially when he couldn't speak and Jay (wisely) let the silence extend. Instead of a hoople-head shouting at the President in an address to Congress and the nation, here's where a healthy "You Asshole!" from an audience member would have made impolite sense.

Rhianna, Jay-Z and Kanye then sang or rapped.

You could argue the new show hasn't found it's feet yet, but after 3 months to think stuff up, this was bland, bland, bland.

A bizzare thing intruded - we thought it was a schtick at first. We were watching on TiVo, about 5 to 10 minutes behind the real time timeline. At one point, the channel switched to an EMERGENCY NOTIFICATION on another channel, which crawled in English and Spanish across the top of the screen, announcing a child abduction in waters 20km from the coast... which is a couple hundred miles from here. It seems the emergency notification was really a combo of weather and Amber alert, with no real details. I've never seen TiVo hijacked before. Somebody pushed the wrong button at KXAN-TV. They also blew the news promo slot as their rehearsal or taping of it also just popped on in mid-Leno, then popped off. When it came time to run it, they didn't.

But wait: Others seem to share my opinion:

"The answer: No desk until the last five minutes. The question: What is the difference between the new 'Jay Leno Show' at 10 p.m. and the former 'Tonight Show with Jay Leno' at 11:35 p.m.?" -- The Gazette

"The menu of the new show is awfully familiar ... [and] an unsettled sense that they're throwing things on the wall to see what sticks." -- Hollywood Reporter

"Without Kanye West, and his conveniently timed controversy from the MTV Video Music Awards, NBC's 'Jay Leno Show' premiere Monday would have been even more of a cut-rate, snooze-inducing, rehashed bore. If Leno's desire is to help fans get to sleep earlier, desire satisfied" -- USA Today

"Leno's funny, but in the safest way. He's adheres to the center of the exact middle road, so it's wrong to expect a revolution here. He has all the draw of buy-one-get-one-free smoothies. His comedy is bubble-wrap; its appeal needs no explaining. He goes with Dan Brown novels and Marriott Rewards points and repeat viewings of the cinchy CBS crime procedurals he now finds himself programmed against: Who doesn't like all of those things?" -- Washington Post

"The first 'Jay Leno Show' was reminiscent of nothing so much as a typical 'Tonight Show with Jay Leno,' with ... [though] superstars were upstaged by what turned out, through pure dumb luck" -- Kansas City Star

"There isn't much difference between the new show and Jay's 'Tonight Show.' There's more comedy, though it's of the bland, topical variety that Jay is known for..." -- Newsweek

"NBC and Leno have delivered something pretty 'Tonight'-like ... they're giving old Jay fans what they like ... interspersed with enough of Whatever People are Talking About Today to get a churning drive-by audience" -- Time

"Exactly like we all should have known it would be ... If this is as good as it gets with three months to work on it, what's it going to be like once the night-after-night grind sets in? Or even more to the point, what's Jay going to do without a Kanye West moment every night?" -- Dallas Morning News

"It's not a good sign when the Bud Light commercial is funnier than the comedy show it interrupts ... his opening monologue seem[ed] like an attempt to cash in on the current vampire fixation -- comedy of the undead" -- LA Times

"The jokes felt familiar, the monologue, too. Someone, however, might want to alert Universal lot security: The couch was missing.Otherwise, what was so different between his last gig and this one, besides the hour?" -- Newsday

RAIN RAIN DON'T GO AWAY

Something we haven't seen in QUITE a while - RAIN running down the window. It rained hard today. People away form this area cannot easily comprehend how low we are - the big lake, Lake Travis, is about 32 FEET below average.

HOOK 'EM!

In Austin, UT football is really REALLY big. Last night we were invited to the first of this season's games. Now, you have to understand that they had 101,096 people attend. That the team could go to be national champion. They are REALLY REALLY good!

College football is - to me - better than pro ball - there's a lot less showboating, there's a spirit of fun despite the intensity - there's no alcohol in the stadium - and the coach talks about his "kids." To me (and some will laugh) college football is purer. Yes, there are scandals, etc., just like everywhere else in modern life, so I acknowledge that for the cynics.

Which doesn't take away from the wonderful time we had.

PHOTOSHOP CLEANUP

Not a storefront, but a huge (and slow) program. With over 9000 pictures in there somewhere, it's time to 'tidy up!' But it's not that simple, apparently (thank god I read up on the process!) WHY it's not real simple is beyond me - I'd expect this to be a common desire.

Apparently you can lose files when you do it the wrong way. The right way has been described simply (with a warning to try on a small number of the files first - just to be SURE...) and also in a long 11 step process. I don't understand all of the steps, either!

So I sit and wait for the "Reconnect missing files" command to do about 100 searches - this could take all day. Then I have to carefully (like an egg on a spoon) move them to the outboard drive.

From what I read, if you don't do this properly, you'll 'blind' the program to the pictures. Or, you lose them.

I STOLE AN ELEVATOR

It was at a swank hotel in Portofino, Italy. I was about 13 years old. I don't remember the name of the place, but it's in all the pictures as it looks down on the harbor. Back then this hotel had an elevator operator. A UNIFORMED elevator operator. At the bottom floor, I caught him chatting up a woman - he had left his post in the elevator and was just around the corner. I snuck inside, closed the door, and took it to the roof, where I left it on manual control. I then ran back down the stairs to the ground floor and kept pushing the button, as if I knew nothing. The operator came around the corner only to find his elevator was missing!

It was a wonderful moment.

I also stole one on a ship, but I don't remember much about that one.

It only works when there's an operator. Sadly, opportunities are very rare these days.

OMG! BLACKBERRY!

I didn't mean to get MYSELF a new phone, but for work, Terri needed to upgrade to a Blackberry so off to Verizon we went. There, on the wall, was a sign that said "Buy any phone get another one free" and somehow this related to the Blackberries. However, the clerk said no, we didn't qualify since we weren't at the end of our 2 year service agreement, and that buying the Blackberry would cost $430. We insisted that the sign was misleading, agreed that we might have to buy one outright since our term hadn't expired, but that should be a two-fer. He said no.

And so it went, back and forth.

The resolution: $250 total for two Blackberries, offset by two hundred dollar rebates.

You might think we WON big - and we did do considerably better than the way it looked initially, but they still will make about $840/yr in increased services to these two units so they can get email.

So I find myself in the new techworld - again.

Other than for voicework, where my agent must be able to reach me asap, I don't live a life where that immediate connection via email is crucial. Phone calls, yes; voicemail, yes. Texting or emails, I can wait until I am home at this keyboard. Or I could.

My hope is the thing has a better camera and better video than the last phone - that's where I am coming from. Too bad we don't have cows - I think this phone will do milking.

Yeah, those iPhones are way cool, but for $25, I'll use this thing. (Note: listen! You can hear the corporate laughter!)

To think that my father used to work for the telephone company, got free telephone service, but was always worried about abusing the system when we placed our annual Christmas call to the west coast relatives... the times, they sure have changed.

ARMADILLO MADNESS

Another 'dillo trapped!

That's now 1 raccoon, 1 cat, 3 armadillos!

There must be some armadillo graffiti at the armadillo bar - "For a Good Time, dine at Wood's! Dine under the shrubs!" It's a %$#@ PARADE of 'dillos, it seems.

Another ride up Highway 71 with a stinker in the trap in the trunk - about 10 miles... and release. This one was slow to escape the cage and immediately went under the car and a tire. HEY!

I am NOT going to accept suicide after schlepping this varmint this far.

And so, I edged away, and the beast was seen waddling away up a hill.

ACTUALLY BUYING THE CAR

It was a sunny, hot, expensive day. We drove up to the local Audi dealership, asked for directions to the sales manager who printed a form. I circled two items on the form. We wrote a deposit check. That's it. Now wait.

I suppose it will feel good when I see the car - it's somewhere - or not - either built and on a slow boat from Germany, or not yet. Meanwhile, no owner's pride or buyer's remorse.

I am happy to get that behind me. I can say it wasn't a pleasant experience, what with misinformation coming from several different places. Recession or not, Audi isn't pricing their cars as cheap. Hopefully the value will linger for years, if not as a Blue Book Price, then as an enjoyable and dependable ride.

This car will be much more nimble than my present one which could be a boat anchor with a little hammering. But that's for the dealership to decide when they take the trade-in.