I was just out spraying Instant Sprayee Cough/Bug Killer That's More Friendly to the Environment Than It Is To You and was thinking about an article I read in today's paper. Some guy tried to commit suicide by firing a nail gun into his head. TWELVE TIMES. I was wondering why he stopped? Maybe to run to the hardware store to get longer nails? What could he have been thinking?
One: Ouch. Hey, I guess I'm still alive,
Two: Ouch. Darn. Darn? Hmm. Still alive.
Three: Ouch. Man, I should have read the instructions.
Four: Ouch. Man, this hurts more than my tatoo did.
Five: Ouch. Come ON. Wonder what this looks like. Can I make it to the mirror?
Six: Ouch. Maybe I should shoot faster.
Seven Eight Nine. OUCH OUCH OUCH. Maybe I have a really thick skull.
Ten. OUCH. Should have tried sleeping pills. Or Celine Dion CDS.
Eleven, OUCH. Don't suppose I could get my money back because the blood will scare the return dude.
Twelve. OUCH! Ok, Jesus, I get it. My bad. Hello, 911?
The docs took the nails out with a needle nose pliers and a drill. The guy is still alive.
When they call your number, they only call it once. Till then, they aren't calling.
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