THERE'S A KIND OF A HUSH ALL OVER THE WORLD

Actually, it's me. I get a big kick out of the nature of voicework. If I am right about the timing of the schedule, my voice is now on some stations in Houston, Austin, Jacksonville, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Salt Lake City, Atlanta, Columbus, Portland, Phoenix, Minneapolis, Las Vegas, Denver, and on Satellite radio. More! I want more!

IPAD AND ME

Or maybe it should read IPAD 2 and Me Too.

After months of backorder, it arrived, this sleek little screen and not much else. True to Apple's form and function, setting it up was a little Disney-magical. Somehow it all comes together, though I didn't see Tinkerbell in the box.

The included instructions are three sentences. More on line if you need it.

CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER. They've been around long enough that you either have one, have seen one, or are waiting for one.



Here's Apple's store at 2PM on a Sunday, and this doesn't show enough of the store which was packed - PACKED! Clearly, they know what they are doing.

And now I find myself an Angry Birds semi-addict, loving the "heh heh heh... nice" undercurrent audio while I try to figure out where to shoot the birds. Kudos to the developers.

I have also loaded apps like the free audio analysis app for which I once paid about $800 to get such functionality in an IPAQ (remember those?)

Somehow Skype works, even though it's not really an IPad version. THAT is said to be coming. The sessions I've had came with remarks about the great audio quality. I'd have to agree from THIS side of the conversation. Apple worked it out.

I'm almost at the video recording and editing stage. I say almost because my mind is running with how do I want this to look... what neat things can I do. Maybe I am too lazy or busy to mount a full-scale production, but with this gadget, you CAN.

THE ATOMIC GNAT

There is an atomic gnat in our TV room. Or several. It's hard to tell. Physicists have determined that certain very very small particles may be able to be in two locations at once. And these gnats are very very small. So when that speck is walking across my glasses, it might also be buzzing the couch. I'm not sure.

Perhaps they arrived in the late winter when we had the deck door wide open - after all, there were no bugs we could see, and it was unseasonably warm. Or maybe they camped out in a new plant which now sits beside the tv. Or rode bareback in on the dog. Actually, the atomic gnat is small enough to pass through a screen.

And so I have begun the ritual of ridding ourselves of this pesky insect which is apparently attracted to my nostril like Bubba to a strip bar on a Friday after work.

I went to LOWES and bought the meanest, and apparently most toxic, pest strip known to man. The instructions say it kills flying things. They say don't be in the room with this horrible chemical for more than 4 hours. Disposal calls for a hazmat team. After more than a week, no gnat deaths have been recorded, though our own lifetimes may have been shortened.

I then resorted to the tried and true... the glue-y thing which hangs as a beacon of stickiness from the pull chain on the ceiling fan. 50s diners and truckstops of that era would sport these traps like stalactites, usually peppered with flies. But for me, no luck. I have avoided walking into it.

I read on the web how to build a trap... using cider vinegar and a soda bottle. But so far, it hasn't worked.

The atomic gnat is winning the war. I am pretty sure it's too small to be a predator drone and don't think I am being surveiled.

Prayer hasn't worked.

Bad tv hasn't worked.

I am unsure of my next move. For now, I am a swat team of one.