THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS

I admit it. I'm goo goo for Jessica Simpson. But holy Dukes of Hazzard, Batman, she sure dropped MANY notches on the sexy-scale with her opening dance? and sing? on the People's Choice Awards. Clearly, the Jessica Simpson Packaging Corporation (aka Dad Simpson) overreached. It was embarrassing.

"Jessica's true vocal talent, unlimited energy and undeniable charisma will truly be a great addition to this year's show," executive producer Carol Donovan said in a statement Thursday. That would be the Thursday PRIOR. Now, post show, she'd probably admit that Jessica, as most searched on the internet, might have pulled her own fans to the show. They would see she has really white teeth, a nice body, nice hair, and the dancing soul of a 55 year old white man.

And the poor host. I could look up his name but why? You probably don't know him either - he does the Late Late show. He's game, though, as he didn't even appear to flop-sweat as his jokes zinged off the walls in relative silence. Standing there are continuing is hard and feat to be admired. I think he's Somebody Ferguson.

We watch for various reasons - me, I like to analyze the spectacle and production and see who acquits themselves well. Some are naturally likeable or natural performers. Others are lost in space, inarticulate, or obvious child-ego-staters. Then some have to read really awkward lines. Fun to see who handles that and how.

Winners are no surprise. This is mass appeal stuff. Easy to predict for the most part. Plus, they have enough categories to cover many.

I couldn't believe it when they also had commercials/People's Choice Awards for BEST HAIR and BEST TEETH which were blatant sell-outs to advertisers. But why stop there? (Maybe they didn't, we switched over to the excellent THE SHIELD. Hoo boy - this will be a great season. Forrest Whittaker is a slimeball.)

Why not best boob job? Best ass? Best smell?

The sellout of everything in our culture is growing daily! (Please don't nail me for the Google ads to the right of this. Nobody sees them. I know. I read the income report. I actually find more money ($0.06 the other day) on the street that with this.)