Computer sick

My computer has been hogging memory so today I downloaded a free program (cue the suspicion music) which uncovered 873 INFECTIONS. I then attempted to read about the individual canker sores and was prompted to BUY the program... no, actually, not buy, REGISTER, to know more. (Music swells now.) To register it you had to BUY it. Trying to get antibiotics for my diseased machine, I eagerly filled out the credit card order to innoculate my P4, the skanky bitch.