INFO TUG OF WAR

Who'd it take so long - YEARS? For the govimint to release the Pentagon airliner crash videos? They sure don't show much. What's to hide?

Conspiracy theorists suggest it's awfully hard to pilot a plane that size at that speed at that low an altitude. The video seems to show a blur skimming the ground. The buzz is there are another many videos from other cameras which aren't released. You have to wonder why not, don't you? Curious minds want to know.

BUSH LOGIC

Bush in his speech to the country the other night said - the lure of America to Mexican workers, "creates enormous pressure that walls and patrols alone will not stop." He said the best way to reduce illegal immigration is to change the law so more people can enter legally. Huh?

Couldn't you say the same about the so called 'war on drugs?'

Legalize sanely. Control and tax. Free up prisons for more serious offenses. Free up police from pot busts so that they can concentrate on more serious offenses. Crime drops, too. The argument that Marijuana leads to the harder stuff is bogus, especially when controlled. Does speeding at 65 lead to 75, then 85, then, 100? Pot is not addictive. In fact, other than short term memory loss and the munchies, it's pretty darn benign. No, you shouldn't drive impaired. You shouldn't drink and drive. Heck, if you've ever had a cigarette ash fall into your lap while driving in shorts, you know the dangers of smoking while driving!

Imagine the tax revenue! Imagine the savings on the war on drugs! Or spend it on more serious addictive substances... crack, heroin, meth.

Yeah, just try to educate a crack user off crack, or a meth abuser off meth.

In Amsterdam you can legally buy and smoke dope in 'coffee shops.' And Amsterdam continues along without a resultant problem... or none reported. Look it up.

BUSH MATH

Let's just take Texas. 1200 miles of Mexican border. Now, let's be generous. Give 200 miles to the beartraps and pits of pit vipers already in place. That leaves 1000 miles. Take 6000 National Guard troops and split them into 3 shifts of 8 hours each. That's 2000 on 'duty' at a time, 24/7. Stretch them out to maximum, you get a guy every half mile. Yeah, W, that'll stop illegals! O'Course there's the border patrol, and they are known to be as effective keeping - what're we up to? 12,000,000? out of the USA as the peanut vendor at a college football game is at keeping the quarterback from being sacked. Can't be done.

The argument goes - they sent back 6 million this year alone. Or is it only 500,000 when you take away the repeats? Stand in the ocean, guys. Let's practice on high tide. Hold that line now!

The best way for a Mexican illegal to get into the US is to skip the coyote, buy a ticket to Canada, then walk across in the many areas where there ARE no crossings.

Luckily, terrorists, darkly silhouetted in front of the National Security Flag, go for Mexico's heat over Canada's cool, as they tend to sneak in among a crowd of service personnel for empty low paying jobs, rather than look out of place next to an Alberta moose.

Somewhere in the White House, they think they've helped George's approval rating.

Guest worker program. Check.
No amnesty. Check.
Work and earn citizenship. Check.
Short speech. Check.
Presidential look. Check.
Remind people of their relatives who came over. Check.
Mention freedom. Check.
National guard. Check.
War on Terror as justification. Check.
Short term program. Check.
Help Border Patrol. No, assist. Check.

I hope people see through this charade.

POPULARITY

Rolling Stone, as part of its 1000th issue, published high school yearbook pictures of many people who became stars, mostly rock stars. An eye opener. Most looked average (and that's kind!) I always thought, "well, if I looked like THAT, I could have been..."

Guess not.

I once met Paul Simon's brother, who looked a lot like Paul. One was a star, one not.

I still think better looking people have an easier time in life, all else being equal. But life is still a mystery to me.

I HATE TICKETMASTER

I admit I am spoiled after so many years (decades!) of getting free tickets to concerts as a perk of working in radio. It was to the artists' advantage that we programmers would see and enjoy their work - make us more likely to play their music on the air. You could argue it was payola but it isn't - payola is exchange of something for AIRPLAY and believe me, you get immune to any possible influence quickly. In fact, going to as many concerts as I have became an obligation rather than enjoyable where my staff, or worse - the competition - is hosting the show.

That leads to today's adventure with Ticketmaster.

I hate Ticketmaster. Those are Blood sucking leeches on the wallet John Q Public!!! Case in point: Steely Dan. I'm a big fan.

I can't quite handle the ticket cost - about $90 per. I realize that isn't up in the higher rankings of charges, but after all, I have a terrific stereo system where they play for FREE and probably sound better! No waiting in line. No noisy fans. No standing in front of me. You get the picture.

But we went for it.

Ticketmaster throws in another $12.55 PER TICKET - get this - and I know, I am ticket-naive - "CONVENIENCE CHARGE." WHAT CONVENIENCE? And then on top of that, charges $4.65 processing fee. PROCESS THIS!!! And then If you wanted expedited delivery, another $20 or so...

CONVENIENCE CHARGE? What the heck does that mean? Ticketmaster is to convenience what a Proctologist is to a cheek-kiss.

I did some on-line research:

Excerpt: "The company now ha(s) exclusive rights to 90% of the nation's large arenas, and over 70% of the clubs and theatres. This pretty much allows them to charge whatever markup they want - and as the example at the top of the page shows, they take full advantage of the opportunity. It's interesting to note that Ticketmaster get(s) their claws in at both ends. If they sell your band's tickets, they charge 3.5% commission on gross sales, plus a further "administrative fee" for credit/debit card fees. The latter is particular interesting, removing wholesale one potential justification for what they add to the price of a ticket.

As if gouging in this manner weren't enough, in September the company announced plans to auction off the best tickets to the highest bidder - effectively becoming nothing more than touts, driven entirely by market forces. The worst thing is, laws against scalping are ineffective, since they apply only to the resale of tickets, not the initial purchase. Again, they'll be laughing all the way to the bank. "

read more There are many more complaints and horror stories.

GOOGLE Search TICKETMASTER COMPLAINTS and you get 384,000 results.

Excerpt: "Ticketmaster is the subject of frequent complaints in the blogosphere and print media due to high ticket service charges. Notably, in the 1990s, Pearl Jam brought a lawsuit alleging that Ticketmaster is a monopoly, whose anticompetitive practices allow markup prices of more than 30%. Ticketmaster was found to be not guilty of violating antitrust law.

More recently, Ticketmaster.com customers have complained about being signed up with no consent for the Entertainment Rewards program of sister company entertainment.com. Customers complain that despite explicitly refusing offers made to them while buying tickets through Ticketmaster.com, a $9 a month charge began to appear on their monthly statements. Customers also complain that these charges continue to accrue month to month and that Ticketmaster is unresponsive in stopping or removing these charges." read more

What I resent most is the "CONVENIENCE CHARGE" term (and price). Makes me sputteringly mad. It isn't convenience if you have no choice. It's exploitation clear as a bell, and on top of that, blind arrogance!

IDOL

Must blog how stunned I am that Chris got voted out of American Idol last night. Kat should have been out.

I thought Elliott would have been pulled, based on his lack of camera-friendly charisma.

Chris is the best all around. Maybe the fact that he's a rocker hurt somehow.

As for Kat, the other "lowest voted," I figured, wrongly, I admit, that women would support one of their own right to the end - who the camera LOVES - though I don't like her singing voice.

Now it's anyone's win, because the people voting are clearly using different criteria than mine.

Notice that every star they've had on 'coaching' the hopefuls praised Chris. I am certain he'll land a contract with some record company and he'll do well.

Taylor remains the showman.

Elliott has stepped up his singing but he's got low charisma.

Kat is pretty.

Al Gore won the popular vote.

Go figure.

COURT TV sort of

We've been summoned to court. But not exactly REAL court - TV court.

We have filed some paperwork against a guy who we believe scammed us out of hundreds of dollars for work he never produced. We went to his county magistrate and filed.

Today, via courier, an invitation comes to be on the Judge Alex Show (never heard of it, but it's on in many markets - lots of small ones, apparently, and some majors too), out of Houston, - they'd fly us there, put us up in a hotel (ooooooooo) and pay the settlement if Judge Alex declares for us. Here's his honor's site

I have no desire to be on TV like that. Don't know about Terri, but I'd bet.... NO. (The invitation just arrived and she's at work.) Who knows? If she wants to, I'd do it, but only for her. What we really want are the tables we never received from the woodworker.

MARINE ONE

We've all seen that picture of Marine One lifting the President from the lawn of the White House. I read that there were 2, to foil bad guys... and they'd go in different directions.

But your tax dollars are sure at work. There aren't 2. or 4, with 2 for down times. Or 6 for extended servicing. Or 8, for foreign postings.

No, there are - or will be - TWENTY THREE!

"After decades of upgrades to a fleet of notoriously cramped Sikorsky VH-3 Sea Kings, the White House has tasked Lockheed Martin with a dramatic, $6.1-billion makeover of Marine One, the presidential helicopter, starting this summer. The goal: to fit a mobile Oval Office into the tight quarters of a chopper. The new fleet will consist of 23 VH-71 aircraft, each of which will have 200 square feet of cabin space, nearly double the Sea King’s 116. "

Read more.

A NEIGHBOR ALMOST DROPS IN

Here's a neighbor. Here's our house. He's not as close as it looks. Always something!

SCORPIONMAN

Our superhero drives a dinky white truck.

But inside is a master chemist's mix of lethal brew. Beware, oh slithery things of the creep! Beware, you arachnid nightmares of hairy legs and evil eye!

The only thing is, he's missing his appointment today. Did a jiggled canister gas him? Did the insect population grab him hostage like a reporter trapped by insurgents? I fear for Richard. He could be in for a magic carpet ride of red ants!

Just yesterday I spotted a rather large bodied spider lurking under a few leaves. Remember when James Bond had one slowly walk over his he-man chest in an early movie of the series? Look closely next time - there's a sheet of glass between Sean C and the nasty tarantula.

But there's no sheet of sissy glass in my front yard where I dare to walk. Because I clearly have lost most of my mind.

TRAFFIC

Traffic is the name of the blog game. So I think I should end my experiment with how many posts I can title with song titles. Why? Because these aren't likely to be terms people search for. To generate traffic beyond the few loyal folks (and I deeply appreciate you!) who visit, I have to use better terms which might interest those who don't know my twisted mind.

I love writing and I enjoy blogging very much. But now I am doing 4 of them, and they eat blocks of time. The only payback is my fed ego as I show off. Can't get that buzz without traffic.

By the way - I am pretty sure the server was down yesterday as phone and E mail was affected and the traffic count was dismal. We have had some serious storms in the past few days which might have somehow affected the network, though you'd think they'd have back-ups.

-----

What good are contractions? In the sentence above, "you'd" is a good one. You skip "woul" but what good is the much more common "it's"? You lose an "i" but have to put in an apostrophe. I want to propose better contractions. I will put together a list. Anybody have any ideas?

BREAKFAST IN AMERICA

(Supertramp)

Today at breakfast Terri jumped up from the table. I shot a quizzical look and hit her with it. "What?" "A scorpion was in the paper!" "Editorial section probably. Where'd it go?" "Right there." "That's not a scorpion." "Yes it is." "Yeah, it is." Squash. Squash. SQUASH!

I am the mighty white hunter. The jungle is mine.

EVERYBODY IS A STAR

(Sly and the Family Stone)

I don't ever want to see Hugh Hefner again. It's gross. He's always got a bimbo on his arm (or three) while he smirks like a camel or some odd beast. It's not an "Oh look - you get get some in your 80s with young great grandaughter-aged babes" hopeful future for men everywhere (except Vegas.) It's a bad ad for Viagra. And Hugh is always pictured in pajamas or robe. Image is everything. Hugh, get what you can, do what you can. Just do it in private and go away please.

Imagine Hugh and someone his age. Want some names? Didn't think so. What must the girls say about him behind his back? Here's a typical conversation: "Boy, Hugh's ear hair is trimmed nicely!" "I love your sandals." "I love YOUR sandals." "Are we going to Spago tonight?" "Do they have an early bird senior sitting at 4?" "Hugh grunts like he's dying." "Oh, that's mean. I think he grunts like a turtle." "Can you get a burn from satin?" "If Hugh makes me pregnant, will the baby be 42 at birth?" "Anybody see my tooth whitening stuff?"

And while I change the world today, I object to the overuse of the word STAR. And also STARRING. Reality shows don't STAR people. Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton are not STARS. STAR should have merit. Actually, a star is a gasseous explosion. Keep that in mind. We need a new word.

And so, this weekend breaks Mission Impossible III. Tom Cruise has become too... whatever... lately. Too bad. The public turns on its pedestal riders. I'd still like to look like him, even for a day. So would Hugh Hefner.

I expect to enjoy MI3. I remember the tv series. I always wondered who shellaced Barbara Bain's face to make it so rigid. If she STARRED she did it without any hint of life.

And lately I've noticed how the leads on Miami CSI and the regular blend (Vegas version) rarely say many scripted words. What a gig. Whatshisname says 3 or 4, rarely 5 word sentences, stands at angles, and pops his glasses on and off. WhatshisnameVegas says a little more, maybe a page an episode, and puts latex gloves on. They may be acting, but they aren't STARRING. I tell you, we need a new word.

The proper sense of STAR should be someone who illuminates by their appearance. Who inhabits a role with such force of personality that we are compelled to believe, or like, or even hate.

RAIN

(The Beatles)

There probably is a way to add audio to Blogs, but I'll bet it costs $97 or $79. MANY add on programs that claim to do amazing things are at those price points. I know, the hard way.

I thought it'd be interesting to record a few seconds of the rain on our metal roof. A few miles away they had 100mph winds and golf ball size hail. Heck. It's Texas. We have softball sized FOG.

Very little thunder so far, so the dog seems to be okay - and darn if we didn't get a boom as I was half through this sentence!

And again.

And she's got the pill... and the shakes.

I admit I enjoyed thunder storms a lot before I became a property owner. Now there are sometimes consequences.

Many of my million+ wildflower seeds are missing in action (or inaction). But I suppose this rain will help the ones that did germinate.

Boy is this boring. Sorry. Blame it on the low pressure front.

And I'm tired from solving a big problem in our internet biz tonight. Too bad I can't explain it to anyone except my partner in the biz, because nobody would understand.

Oh - V Fox, Mexico's Pres. must have had the talk from our state department. Now he won't sign the drug legalization law. Just when I thought he/they were enlightened. I mean, look, prohibition didn't work here. And the "Drug War" is a big waste of money and manpower in my opinion. Don't get me started on this political gamesmanship stunt! Talk about addiction! Washington is addicted to hypocrisy.

RIDERS ON THE STORM

(Doors)

Jessie, our dog, has become frightened of thunderstorms. She runs in agitated circles and pants. She's very clearly freaked out. I have been unable to calm her in these circumstances. So I asked the vet what to do and the vet prescribed vallium.

Amusing to me was the warning that she should not operate any heavy machinery while taking the meds. So noted!

TIME OF THE SEASON

(Zombies)

It's Scorpion Season again. We've killed 4 or 5 this past week in the house. Imagine tiny lobsters with a hooked tail w/barb. That's what they look like. I can tell you they don't die easily, either. It took 5 or 6 hits with a large floss container to crush the little bugger last night.

But what a difference a year makes. I was tip toeing around last year. This year - look - there's one - kill and flush. No big deal. Of course I haven't been stung yet either, so it's easy to be calm.

Terri found one in her bra before she put it on. Must have been a male.

AMERICAN IDOL

It came to me last night while I couldn't sleep - seemed so obvious.

Paris is out next.

Then Taylor.

Then Elliott.

Then Kat.

Chris wins.

This is unless somebody just stinks it up - but they are all pretty impressive at this level.

A day later: I might swap Elliott and Taylor. I get the sense, as a better showman (but lesser singer) Taylor might outlast Elliott.

An aside - this show is cleverly put together, including the makeup of the 'judges.'

COCAINE

(Eric Clapton)

Wouldn't have believed it if you told me, but there it was in the paper today - and - you know - if it's written down, it must be true.

Apparently the senate and congress (or whatever it's called) passed, and The President of Mexico is expected to sign a bill that LEGALIZES small personal quantities of - get ready - heroin, ecstasy, pot, and coke.

This is said to free the police to go after the big bad cartels, etc.

Seems extreme, but not an altogether bad idea... and for some reason, I find it funny. It just seems to be another burr in Bush's saddle.

The bill says criminal charges will no longer be brought for possession of up to 25 milligrams of heroin, five grams of marijuana — about one-fifth of an ounce, or about four joints — and half a gram of cocaine — about half the standard street-size quantity, which is enough for several lines of the drug.

"No charges will be brought against ... addicts or consumers who are found in possession of any narcotic for personal use," the Senate bill reads. It also lays out allowable quantities for a large array of other drugs, including LSD, MDA, ecstasy — about two pills' worth — and amphetamines.

Some of the amounts are eye-popping: Mexicans would be allowed to possess a kilogram (2.2 pounds) of peyote, the button-sized hallucinogenic cactus used in some native Indian religious ceremonies.


Fox news covers the story

ROCK AND ROLL PNUEMONIA AND THE BOOGIE WOOGIE FLU

(Johnny Rivers)

That's the best song title POST title I can come up with. Yestreday and today my dependable computer came down with a serious virus.

I thought I killed it yesterday. Not with NoGoodNorton Anti-Virus, which told me about it and basically said - "you're out of luck, sucka." For this I pay a yearly fee to 'keep current.'

It was a Trojan. Not the foil wrapped kind, either.

I tried Ad-Aware, which not only found it again but had some tool to remove it. All ended happily.

Last night we had a pretty bad thunder storm and when I came into the office and dog lounge to comfort Jessie at 2:30AM I thought it might be a good idea to turn off the computer since I haven't backed up some very important things and it was flashing pretty good.

This morning when I rebooted, the virus booted too... and it immediately began a deluge of E mail attempts. There were so many I couldn't do anything but try to delete or stop them. I think and hope Norton helped here, as did my ISP, recognizing what must have been seen as spam, and throwing out the barrage.

FINALLY I got back enough control briefly to load a free software propgram to destroy the Trojan. This apparently worked, but it also threw out over 600 other bugs/fleas/germs.

I await consequences.

So far so good.

Later the same day... I apparently still have virii.

Norton Anti-Virus BITES.

I have uninstalled it and $50 later have a years worth of PC Doctor and PC Nurse in a short dress uniform. Or something like that. One looks for badness the other looks for more badness and spanks it. Together, after a nice 40 minute scan, they killed six more virii. I think I'm clean.

Though after such an event every time the computer pauses your stomach sinks and you hold your cyber-breath.

THE LEADER OF THE PACK

(Side two ? The Shangri-Las)

Tony Snow is the replacement Press Secretary for President Bush and his administration.

Tony Snow On President Bush: ‘An Embarrassment,’ ‘Impotent,’ ‘Doesn’t Seem To Mean What He Says’

Read more!

Nice vetting!

Maybe in an effort to save gas, the administration clowns can get one of those little circus cars and pile in all together. Skip the SUVs. Skip the motorcade.

THE LEADER OF THE PACK

(The Shangri-Las)

Clearly president Bush is trying to seize an agenda and boost his cred and also fish for support.

But he's a lame duck on crutches.

The gas saving proposals were weak and mere rhetoric. I especially loved the 'we're going to look into price gouging!" Well, there, Mr. President, you might wish to start with big oil and their record profits. Just a hunch, but that might resonate better with the public than chasing gas stations and wholesalers.

Oh - And he's delaying the payback to the federal gas reserves till after the summer - see, some of the reserves flowed to the gas companies post Katrina. Anybody else think that this would PROFIT the gas companies since by then it's not inconceivable that the price of gas will have come down, and so replacing what they received will cost them less!!!?

And he's encouraging the energy companies to seek alternative energy sources. Yup. That'll help. In 10 to 20 years.

And let's cut the subsidies to the rich oil companies. Now there's a White House "Duh."

The sad fact is, he's not a leader, but he's our leader.

AMERICAN IDOL

Aw she's so cute... but my prediction is Kellie is out tomorrow. That was two stinkers in a row for her. And sorry to say for her chances, others were great.

Bottom 3 - do they even DO that with so few left?

Taylor (sorry, guy, you were outclassed)
Paris (she can be a star on Broadway - but she's like Gladys Knight to me - not a super star, just a star.)
Kellie - out.

Now it gets interesting.

Later the next day................

I was right. Sad to see her go - she's as cute as they come. Disarming too.

Paris is next - unless someone else just blows it badly. She's a great singer, but not as likeable. I don't know why. Maybe she's too much the older person in the younger person.

QUESTION

(Moody Blues)

Q: What's worse than a neighbor's German Shepherd that barks every time you leave the house?

A: Squealing young girls on a trampoline on the same property.

I was twice bitten by a German Shepherd when I was a kid. And squealing young girls makes me think of rats.

STAND TALL

(Burton Cummings)

You won't belileve this.

I don't either.

It's in the paper today.

Airbus industries has proposed a new way for air travelers to enjoy their flights:

STANDING. Huh? Oh yes, pack the sardine can full. You'd have a backboard to stand against and be somehow bound into it. Turns out there are no rules about actually having to sit, just to be restrained.

Boggles the mind, doesn't it?

This is so weird, any wise cracks I might make pale under the harsh light of such an idea. Wonder if they'd give you a tiny butt ledge? But then how would that be positioned? One man's butt ledge is another's lumbar support and another's spine crusher. No butt ledge then.

Laptop computers wouldn't work. No lap.

So far no airline has picked up on this option but you have to know there will be meetings about this very topic in airline boardrooms where the term "fiduciary responsibility" will stand up by itself, unrestrained.

KILLING ME SOFTLY

(Roberta Flack)

I was just out spraying Instant Sprayee Cough/Bug Killer That's More Friendly to the Environment Than It Is To You and was thinking about an article I read in today's paper. Some guy tried to commit suicide by firing a nail gun into his head. TWELVE TIMES. I was wondering why he stopped? Maybe to run to the hardware store to get longer nails? What could he have been thinking?



One: Ouch. Hey, I guess I'm still alive,

Two: Ouch. Darn. Darn? Hmm. Still alive.

Three: Ouch. Man, I should have read the instructions.

Four: Ouch. Man, this hurts more than my tatoo did.

Five: Ouch. Come ON. Wonder what this looks like. Can I make it to the mirror?

Six: Ouch. Maybe I should shoot faster.

Seven Eight Nine. OUCH OUCH OUCH. Maybe I have a really thick skull.

Ten. OUCH. Should have tried sleeping pills. Or Celine Dion CDS.

Eleven, OUCH. Don't suppose I could get my money back because the blood will scare the return dude.

Twelve. OUCH! Ok, Jesus, I get it. My bad. Hello, 911?

The docs took the nails out with a needle nose pliers and a drill. The guy is still alive.

When they call your number, they only call it once. Till then, they aren't calling.

LISTEN PEOPLE

(Herman's Hermits)

This evening the Wood Shed will fill with wimmin folk with whom Terri works, but as fate would have it - I take it as A SIGN - I have been invited to a showing of $135,000 speakers (among other things.) It's not at all inconceivable that I will hear what $200,000 worth of stereo system will do. I'll meet the manufacturer and fellow middle-aged bald guys who have invested a lot in their do-dah doing.

(My speakers are in the same product line, at a lower entry point.)



Here are panoramas of my listening room. No, no TV. This is for the glory of MUSIC.



(And no, it's not as long as it looks - that's the distortion of panorama. It's about 20 x 21 or so.)

I will take my camera and try to get some pictures of the action. You won't see the music.

This should be interesting. I will post what comments I might have below, either upon my return, or tomorrow!

------

The next morning.

I missed the wimmin sucessfully. Terri said the buff UPS guy came to the door and she said he was the 'entertainment' and the girls let out quite the ruckus, which sent him running (he wasn't the entertainment, and to be fair, he runs all the time anyway.)

I met David Wilson, the owner of the company which built my speakers. He is very impressive in his pursuit of his "vision" if you will, of how a speaker should sound. He discussed other designs than his, was respectful of others and their way, and spoke almost lovingly of his 50 employees. That's a mark of goodness. He wasn't there to sell us, but to show off his top of the line speaker. I didn't get a great picture, mainly because the 700 pound unit (one of two) is so large. In real life it looks so much better than any pro picture I've seen of it.





Rear without cover - many adjustments!


...and even more, these electronic!

His marketing director also demoed their new small model and it was, to my ear, as impressive within limits, as the large one.

The showrooms are in a victorian house... it's absolutely beautiful. The event was catered and suprisingly not all middle aged bald guys. In fact, two women attended -one a partner of a guy and the other alone!


Beautiful showroom entry...


I had THE sweet seat for the big demo and must say I was extremely impressed. The sense of reality was there. I only wish I had been familiar with the music they played.


I estimate this at about $70,000 worth of gear. The amps (bottom left) - were the first two in the US of this Conrad-Johnson model. They sounded glorious.

All in all a wonderful time, a rare opportunity at ne plus ultra, which surely must be one of the premier high end stores in the country.

AMERICAN IDOL

American Idol will be interesting tonight. Kellie definitely screwed up her song last night. As she put it sweetly and honestly, "I butchered it." Most of the others were very good. Now we'll get down to finding out if this show is about most recent performance or popularity.

My predicted bottom 3:

Kellie
Ace
Katharine

I think Ace is out.

Although she's pretty, Katharine just doesn't sound RIGHT to me. The judges swooned last night. They loved her. Simon built her a shrine.

I don't think Kellie is as good as the top singers. I don't think they are as likeable as she is.


....

I was right. I was wrong. Ace is out. Kellie and Katharine were not in bottom 3.

OUR HOUSE

(Madness) (CSN&Y)

I have discovered an essential truth: the toilet plunger is not where you think it is.

A corollary: when needing a toilet plunger, you usually are seconds away from disaster.

Here's my story:

I take care of the houseplants. Most are thriving. The larger tropical one in the Master Bathroom seems to like it when I give it 3 quarts of water once a week. It tends to droop for several days till the watering. Well, today I noticed that it seems to be losing some of its long leaves. Since it's a pot within a pot, I thought a little exploring was in order so I lifted the inner from the outer. Inside was about 3 gallons of dark brown water, and the inner pot was leaking like a spigot.

No fool here, I held it over the sealed outer pot while it drained, then carefully plugged its one hole while I moved it to the sink to drain some more.

I hefted the large outer pot to the toilet and carefully poured, splashing only a little onto the white rug immediately at toilet front... where it will look like an 'accident.' Maybe I can blame the dog.

Nevertheless, I poured carefully, undaunted. And since I couldn't see into the dark brown water, imagine my surprise when a chunk or two of something splashed into the bowl!

I did what any man would do - I flushed my problems away.

The water rose.

The gurgling began.

I went for the plunger.

It was gone!

The water stopped centimeters from the lip - you know the one - the final lip of destiny and serious wifely disapproval.

Gurgle.

The water slowly sank in the bowl.

Manly men know that signals all clear. I flushed again.

The waters rose and rose. Maybe more weight of water would break the clog. I flush again, but the tank hadn't refilled entirely. Again, the gamble goes to the bowl... in other words, the water continues to rise.

I watch in horror.

It stops, again at the lip.

I search the plunger-lost house in my underpants. This all began after shaving and immediately before a shower. It's gone. Not in the back bathroom, not in closets or cabinets. I step into the recently named snake-motel, the garage, standing in the middle of the concrete, careful to not go too close to anything with anything under it, if you get my drift. I am figuratively (and almost literally) naked. But no plunger.

I fear the cleaning people mixed it up in their kit and took it away.

When you need a plunger you NEED it. Oh, it might sit for a year, but believe me, that wooden handle can make a big difference in your confidence when faced with an emergency.

Maybe if I flush enough the clog will break...

THE SOUND OF MUSIC

(Julie Andrews)

When we had our house built, I goofed. Originally I wanted the zoned house system (3 'extra' speaker locations) to be run from the home theater room upstairs via DVD player and amp. But my LISTENING room is downstairs, as are the CDs. It turned out to be a pain to shuttle upstairs every 55 or 65 minutes. If only I had run a wire! But the builder said that NOW we'd have to punch holes in walls in several places, etc.

I tried an FM transmitter but the quality wasn't good. I read about a mod and tweaked it with more power but that still sounded bad.

I researched a one watt (illegal) FM transmitter but they stopped making them available in the states.

Then someone suggested Bluetooth. And I found this device - The Motorola Stereo Gateway (DC800) at Radio Shack. Two of these did the trick. CD player downstairs, FM receiver/distribution amp upstairs.

This box spec out this way:

Audio input and audio output capabilities

Designed with advanced Bluetooth® Class 1 technology which provides a wire-free range of up to 100m (300 ft.) when used with other Class 1 devices*

RCA jacks for input and output. Plug input into one, output from the other.

What was especially appealing was the stated range of 100m! You read right.

The result: it works just as I could have wished. Let the music play everywhere!

TAKE A CHANCE

(Abba)

I noticed a Google adsense ad for SNAKE AWAY to the right, and wondered what that was - so I chanced a click - it lead me to a JEWELRY PAGE at Target. I suppose you slip a ring or bracelet on the snake and it's so embarrassed it slithers away.

The funny thing to me is that they paid for my click.

More justification for our Website Optimization company!

Over at my other blog, you can read about and even see the latest reptile found up the street today. Nasty!

RIDE MY SEE SAW

(Moody Blues)

So you got that new Hummer or Escalade but - ya know, dog, it ain't a righteous ride.

Check it out - just another 14 large and you can get some serious rims: LED powered rims that actually do lit pictures and graphics

...true.

MONEY FOR NOTHING

(Dire Straits)

Is it me?

Several items have been chewing on my peace of mind. Maybe I'm hypersensitive for no good reason.

Where do you weigh in on this?

Gas prices are up over $3.00 a gallon and they say there's no immediate relief and it's because of this or that and the reasons seem to make sense. Ethanol conversion. Plants down. Katrina-induced shutdowns still not yet fixed. Consumption.

And yet Exxon is now the largest American company.

Their former chief executive, Lee Raymond, (retired in December) was paid $144,573 a day - A DAY - from 1993 to 2005. Savants already know: that's $686 million.

Is this the free market economy at work? Or fat pig greed?

Would consumption go markedly up if prices ran back to, say, $1.99? I think not. Not much, anyway. I think people will bite the bullet and drive even when it hurts to pay the pump - they haven't markedly cut back despite the rise. But something's wrong. There's no way Exxon should be so piggish and get away with it. The press seems to buy the story given by... The American Petroleum Institute. (Not that they'd be anything less than forthright.) They say it costs so much to explore. Maybe, but maybe trimming some of that profit would help pay for it and also run down prices.

I'm ticked at the gas companies. I'm ticked at the press. I'm ticked at the government.

And on THAT subject... it seems that US-sensitive data on flash drives was being sold in Bagram, Afghanistan, at a bazaar - probably not for the info but for the drives, yet you have to wonder what kind of government allows such lax security that the air base would be so porous that workers or whomever could simply walk away with such data? Spies' lists. Personal data. Strategy. On HUNDREDS of drives. Nice work.

I say fire the men on top.

Then there's Rumsfeld. What are we up to now - 6 retired generals calling for his resignation. Rummy says, well, there are thousands of these generals, so what noise do 6 make? BUT THEY WERE THERE, involved in the war.

I say fire Rummy. Bush, of course, supports his guy. We'll get to him in a minute.

Then there's Katrina... so much waste, the job not done.

Then there's general waste in the government. It apparently leaks money that nobody knows about. The GAO, if memory serves, and some commission or other both reached the same conclusion: waste and loss is costing the taxpayers trillions.

So, who's to blame?

I say the get-nothing-done party system. I say the pork barrel party-line-tit- sucking 'leaders.' I say throw them ALL out and start over. They can't even pass a good ethics bill.

Get rid of every one of them. Vote them out. Incumbent = OUT!

I fear we are in serious trouble. I don't even want to write about the freedoms lost. I honestly wonder if some NSA computer will track this blog down as disloyal. Remember Nixon's "enemies" list and how silly it seemed - if you weren't on it? I assume it meant more if you were! Now grandmothers and bloggers are 'watched.' If you are against the status quo you are disloyal. Citizens are watched as suspicious for exercising their right to free speech while our SECRETS are for sale at the Afghan bazaar!

This country was founded on disloyalty - disloyalty to Britain, if you remember. The forefathers must be spinning in their graves, drilling through the dirt. Maybe they'll strike oil and save us from that mess.

REPTILE

(Eric Clapton)

I write these posts then try to find a song title to match. This one will be hard. I've overused Spiders and Snakes already.

Locally, it's snake season. You can see one in a post below, formerly starring in our garage. Luckily it was harmless, other than for testing my adrenal glands (they work well!)

A neighbor found another in his garage yesterday.

And on the news last night a local patron of the nearby Home Depot was BITTEN BY A RATTLE SNAKE which was in a potted plant! (Lawsuit?) Man, that's the height of frightening to me, the snake scaredy-pants. In fact, I check my pants before I put them on. When I see a snake I have to check them when I take them off!

It's like after JAWS came out. Some people were afraid to swim in clear water lakes, or even sit on toilets. You might not be old enough to remember, but I am and do.

As part of the snake season story the experts had some big bad reptiles to show off. If I see a Bull snake I will pass out. Nevertheless, life goes on and you can't simply skip outdoors. Luckily our pool is 6 feet off the ground. Our neighbor in Houston had to be careful with his skimmers, as they'd trap snakes.

I even thought maybe I should handle a snake for a while to desensitize myself.

Gardening this weekend should be interesting!

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT

(Tina Turner)

What was once a car chase is now scenes with the daughter.

On 24 - a few seasons ago - the action would come to a screeching halt (although the screeching might have been provided by the viewers) as the daughter would waste time in her subplot. Maybe you need relief from the high tension? I say BRING IT ON. Cut the lamp cord - make threatening sparks in the face of the terrorist. MAKE HIM GIVE the piece of info so crucial to the plot!

Now this season's Thief has the same drama-stopping device. Dad/thief mastermind has this kid to deal with after the loss of his wife.

Is this to bring in lower demos? Show him as human? OR JUST WASTE TIME? It's called Thief, not My Dad, the Thief.

Back in the days of Mannix, there'd be car chases. Now it's goo.

WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN

(The Who)

David Caruso (Miami CSI) has to be the worst most highly rated actor working. I have to admit I play a game to see how many words are in each sentence he utters. --- Usually 4. Well, he doesn't WRITE the show, but he does posture and pose and break those four words into The first (dramatic pause) the last.

Well, who's the fool? He's likely making millions on a top show and I'm... writing a blog.

But what interests me, and the real subject of this blog, is how we tire of a show that's so formulaic. It used to be hot, is now cold. I don't care if I ever see another episode. Have I changed? Or is there a threshold beyond which we are overdosed?

The setup usually has some babes in it. I like that. Then the crime scene. "H" says 4 or 5 words, and the great intro begins. LOVE THE WHO. LOVE THAT THEME. Can't turn it off or TiVo through it. It was out when I was a young dee-jay. Monitors up full, the scream by Roger Daltry just amped adrenalin through my system every time! But then we go through the case, and it just bores me - at least they keep the co-stars present. And there's the gross out scene. Maggots in the wound of the not-dead-victim last night. "Okay, cue the maggot wrangler, we are ready for the closeup!"

Lately - bored - I've even keyed in on the color palette of each show, declaring it to Terri very early on - and then you see it so obviously (like Caruso's acting). Last night was orange. Orange ties, blouses, pants, you name it. Orange.

I read that college students play a drinking game - whenever Caruso puts hands on hips you take a drink/hit. When he takes his dark glasses off for dramatic emphasis, you take two drinks/hits. Maybe that helps!

The guy looks like a camel to me. But who's the Fool?

PSYCHOTIC REACTION

(Count 5)

Few things stress me out like car repair. I have had many bad experiences. When I had my Porsche, I couldn't get decent service in New York, St. Catherine's Ontario, Canada, or San Diego. In San Diego I would have it fixed again and again and again as each time they didn't fix the problem! Finally, in Houston, I found a GUY - not a dealership - who could make it run.

A guy putting an aftermarket radio into the Porsche blew out the engine computer, which had to be air freighted in from Germany.

On an old Camaro, the wheels would never stay aligned. But that was potholed Pittsburgh.

I had a VW Dasher... and once I left the dealership with the engine literally smoking. I stopped. Lifted the hood. Found a wrench. It wasn't the cause of the smoke, but, c'mon! And c'mon!

My VW truck blew its motor.

In Minneapolis I came to trust my Audi dealership which they say was the largest in the country... 4 wheel drive being important there. Even so, there were issues and I got into an argument with a service advisor who lied to me about what had been done, about what I had said to do. I blew her in to management and she was 'retired.'

So today - if the Audi will start - and that's no sure thing - I will take it or truck it to the dealer and hope they can find what's wrong and fix it and that I can find a way home.

Last time it was in for service, I was hit by a dump truck while in the rental car substitute.

Stress. Helplessness. Expensive helplessness. What a joy. Always an adventure.

----

And so I do manage to get it into the shop. And they do manage to get it into a bay where the tech says he needs two hours (more) minimum of diagnosis. It could be this or that. The service advisor adds, or that2. This is in stock. That and that2 aren't, and will have to be shipped in.

I take a rental and put full insurance on it. If I don't total it or forget to return it, I am covered!

Oh - and my headlight with sleepy-eye: that'll be $470 plus labor. "and usually people get both, because one is nice and shiny and the other is oxidized, etc." I say the hell with that - replace the one that needs it. "Can't you just adjust it?" "No, sorry."

While waiting I fall in love with an $85,000 A-8-L. What a car!

Finally I make it home, about 3 1/2 hours after I left this morning... and I await THE CALL which will outline how quickly the service charges will add up, and how long they'll need the car to fix it. And I just put $2000 into the car.

I have crossed the threshold where I start to be nickel and dimed to death by my car. Only a nickel is now $500 and a dime is $1000.

BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR

(Beatles)

The other day my reliable Audi wouldn't start at Starbucks. I ate my donut and tried again. It turned over.

But ya know, after some years, you have a sense about things. You just know when it isn't right.

It did start again three or four times since.

And today I bought my first $42 tankful of gas. GOUGING BASTARDS! Then, after gulping hard at the pump,... nothing. And nothing again. And again. Again. Yet again. A lady lines up behind me. I get out and give her the bad news - I ain't going nowhere!

Finally I decide to see if I can push it into a parking space, which I do, and crank and wait and try and try and try again. Nope.

I call the service center - they just did a BIG (almost $2000) tuneup and service not very long ago. Well, it's tough to diagnose over the phone - could be this or that. I try again. No go. Terri picks me up.

And so I leave it there - will return tomorrow and if I can't get it started, will have it towed to the dealership.

It's not logical. We have two cars. But when mine is down, I feel trapped, even though I wouldn't necessarily use it to go anywhere. But I COULD. That's the thing.

ROCKY RACCOON / ROCKET MAN

(Beatles)/ (Elton John)

Last night while watching TV, an odd noise startled us. It sounded like perhaps a Raccoon had somehow gotten into the attic behind the TV and was hurling its rabid self from wall to wall. We tried to ignore it at first thud, but it kept up.

I did the manly thing: "Stay here." I said to Terri, as I gingerly cranked a window open. Was the noise INSIDE OR OUTSIDE? Not sure.

THUD! THUD! THUD!

Try another window. FOR GOD'S SAKE don't open the door to the attic!

THUD!

THUD!

"Oh, wait... out here on the deck... look at this!" I bravely call to Terri. And she joins me to watch the fireworks that signal the grand reopening of the golf club here on the community grounds. We had a perfect view.

BORN IN THE USA

(Bruce Springsteen)

I rarely stop at PBS while channel surfing. But it seems that, every single time I do, they are in a drive. Maybe that's when the good stuff airs. Or the good stuff that stops me. Never fails. Never.

Last night it was Bruce Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuce Springsteen and The E Street Band in 1975. I have to admit - I've never seen Bruce and don't have a single disc. I was blown away. How could I have missed Bruce? Apparently I live in a Bruce-fault zone, where the upwelling of Steely Dan (ahem) and the Doobie Brothers Plate (ahem) come together!

SPIDERS AND SNAKES (part 2)

(Jim Stafford)




It's that time of the year! This bad boy or benign boy replaced Terri's car today in the garage. I will name him Jack Abramoff. Wonder where the hat is?

Of course, now I am looking at hoses, extension cords, and rope with MUCH suspicion and I am pretty sure my adrenal gland still works just fine, thankyouverymuch!




You can't see it but the snake could flatten considerably around the head, not unlike a python. I looked through the Snakes Of Taxes website and couldn't find a close match. But that also helped elevate my alert status to double red plus neon plus fluorescent.

With the help of Malcolm Pigford, this snake has been identified. Eastern Hognose Snake: Heterodon platirhinos: A shy and harmless snake.

I DON'T LIKE SPIDERS AND SNAKES

(Jim Stafford) - in case you haven't noticed, I am seeing if I can keep going with song titles as my blog titles.


Wimp test! I passed. But show me a snake and I climb air! I even helped the little bugger (and a partner) out of their trash bin-jam. And when prodded gently with a stck, the ungrateful bugger ran toward me. So I told him what I've learned from Geo Bush about freedom and he ran back under the bin.

Reptiles? Bin laden (!) with cans. Freedom? It's a DC day.

SING A SONG

(Earth Wind and Fire)

I'll climb out on an AMERICAN IDOL addiction limb.

It's a limb because I can't predict how callers will vote, but, based on last night's performances, to me, the 3 lowest vote getters will be:

Mandisa - sorry - she sure can sing but didn't do a good job PLUS her outfit was extremely unflattering. Since others were so much better, I think she'll be in the bottom (no pun) 3. But as I said, maybe the voters of America are plus sizes and empathize, so who knows? Mandisa is a great GREAT singer, is beautiful, has great spirit, but based on last night, I think she's bottom 3.

Taylor - no spark, no vibe, and to my ear, whined through the song. I like the guy, but... bottom 3. I don't think he'll be the one kicked out though.

Bucky - the production covered his perfromance nicely but if you listened with the volume up, it was just fair. He's never really nailed a performance yet. The others are better. He gets booted.

---

I was only part right. Mandisa go the boot. Taylor and Bucky were not in the bottom 3. Wish I could figure out how America votes! Next week they do the music of QUEEN. That should be interesting!

YES WE CAN CAN

(Pointer Sisters)

Last night while watching TV, I heard a noise from the cabinet across the room. I ignored it. Later another noise, perhaps louder. I ignored it, but it worked on me - a mouse? A rat? What could it be? Too distant from a window where a bird might have flown into the pane.

I investigate.

The built-in refrigerator draws my attention.

I open the door.

Like a war zone, cans of diet coke (non-caffeinated) have exploded... one, two, three. And the debris is frozen solid to the walls. Except for the little pool that somehow escaped into the carpet then dried.

I kneel there, dumbfounded (I didn't think that mini-frig would go that cold though I had turned it to colder the other day.) I also realize I am staring at live grenades with a demonstrated propensity for explosions. And I throw some towels in, reduce the cold setting, and retreat.

Later, perhaps today, I will enjoy the sticky by-then-melt and try to clean it all.

It's always something!

BOOK OF LOVE

(Monotones)



Today is Terri's birthday.

For her birthday I put together a picture book of our 20th anniversary cruise to the Grenadines on a chartered sailboat. I used a service on line and it took days and days and days to sort, design, and build the book. It was a big hit!

Today I tried to send out the book electronically to some friends... but much to my horror (and to my way of thinking, consistent with the awkward Shutterfly.com way of doing things) - they sent permissions to see all the raw pictures, not in sequence or design or with captions. And of course they have no good interface that answers a simple question like, how can I share my project AS FINISHED!!!???

You almost get the sense they lack logic.

But, as I wrote, the book was a hit and if I can get a straight answer from Shutterfly, I'll make it available.

It was extremely difficult to sneak around and get it done when I knew Terri wanted to see the pictures that I had hidden. I kept putting her off. Whew! I am not a good sneak!

SOMETHING IN THE AIR

(Thunderclap Newman)

Don't know what it IS but there's a sweet smell in the wind today. Almost like incense. Take a nice breeze and 80 degrees on April 1, then scent the breeze and you've got heaven. (No, it's no illegal hempage.)

Bought a cactus today.

Went to a very nice art fair and avoided buying anything expensive beyond Gellato!

I'm too mellow to write anything clever. Come back later, we'll see.

ON THE RADIO

(Donna Summer)

This one is a great parody for radio folks, those who need a good laugh, and listeners alike. You really ought to have broadband.

MORNING GIRL

(Neon Philharmonic)

If you ever have listened to radio in the morning, this will put a smile on your face! You'll need broadband.

I SHOT THE SHERIFF

(Eric Clapton, others)

SHOTS IN THE NIGHT? Sure sounded like that. Bang! Later Bang bang! Then Bang bang bang. Somewhere in the dark, and maybe related, there was a skunk drive-by!

The sound was so unexpected and out of place, I half expected to hear sirens after a while. It was DARK. So if someone was taking a shot at something, they must have a night vision scope.

Of course, it could have been firecrackers, but as we all know, you generally set fire to one at a time, or all at once. Even shooting cans into the air is done one at a time in time-honored tradition.

An odd time to test fire your six shooter. Not enough shots to be a full clip of a pistol.

An unsolved mystery, I suppose.

----

If you want to be grossed out, turn your keyboard upside down and shake it. Go on - try it.

DREAMS

(Fleetwood Mac)

I was back in radio in a dream night before last... preparing to leave I think...

and I thought up this Billboard (why a billboard in radio I don't know) for a client... woke up almost laughing.

BEER LOGO
DRINK REPSONIBLY

PSYCHOTIC REACTION

(Count Five)

ST. PAUL, Minn. - The Easter Bunny has been sent packing at St. Paul City Hall.
A toy rabbit, pastel-colored eggs and a sign with the words "Happy Easter" were removed from the lobby of the City Council offices, because of concerns they might offend non-Christians.

A council secretary had put up the decorations. They were not bought with city money.
St. Paul's human rights director, Tyrone Terrill, asked that the decorations be removed, saying they could be offensive to non-Christians.

New PC version:

The Easter Mammal has been motionally motivated at Person Paul City Hall. A miniature simulacrum of a rabbit, colored or grey chicken ovoids, and the words, "Mood change Spring Acknowledgement" were disinterred from the lobby of the City Council offices, because of concerns they might offend non-Christians.

Not that ST. PAUL would.

MY OLD SCHOOL

(Steely Dan)

Villanova lost rather handily yesterday. Not normally interested in basketball, I felt compelled to watch. Ouch. They were cold. Really cold. If the team tried many 3 pointers I didn't see them! And their 2 pointers were - what - going in only 20 something percent of the time, compared with 40 something for Florida.

Texas is out. Villanova is out. I'm out.

Speaking of Steely Dan, I am now addicted to the new Donald Fagen CD. It's typical for him in that the lyrics are sometimes 'inspired.' The arrangements are wonderful, pop/jazz/rock. A home run. I played a track on my fancy/schmancy system for a neighbor who was over last night. His comment, "It's perfect." Yeah, it is.

MONEY

(Pink Floyd)

There are two homes on the next street under construction or just finished... up for $2.2 and 1.9 MILLION. We're going to go snoop and see what all those presidents buy.

I need a job.

... later that same day...

WOW. One home in particular is so incredibly rich in features and trim. I think we had better take the car off blocks in our yard. Or at least turn it into a nice planter!

BASKETBALL JONES

(Cheech and Chong)

I swear I'm not into it but I caught the overtime 5 minutes where Villavova just squeaked through to the next round.

And today I happened to tune in at the final 26 seconds of the Texas/ LSU game in regulation time - watched the overtime. LSU deserved that one. Sorry, Horns.

RAMBLIN' MAN

(Allman Brothers)

The new car pool: a single person driving while on the phone.

----

I tried, I really did, to avoid the story line of the Sopranos this season since we watch on DVD and consume a full season like, well, Tony, eating pasta. So wouldn't you know I found out some of the BIG SECRET on a website that wasn't even devoted to it. I generally have a bad memory but I'll bet this sticks. Why is that?

----

Talking to our great Home Builder the other day and we started talking about digital cameras - he's VERY into it and I'm a wannabe. It was interesting to realize that Terri was suffering through the guy talk. We could have been arfing a la Tim Allen for all she heard.

----

37 degrees last night. Revenge of the Winnipegers.

----

The website optimization biz keeps getting pushed back deeper and deeper into detail - I can't wait for the day when all is actually fully implemented and ready. We'll throw open the cyber-doors and... wait. Not really - a lot of the delay has been in building the marketing plans and modules. But I tell ya, it's hard being the Most Impatient Person on the Planet.

----

Yesterday the haircutter grossed me out - telling me about 'that woman who just left' - who used ONIONS in her hair and who also had a SCALP FUNGUS at one time. I started making retch noises and insisted they assure me they sterilize their clippers. My god. Nothing is safe.

----

Then she said you wouldn't believe what restaurant people do to the food when a customer is a jerk... she had some insider knowledge. I made her stop and don't want to eat or get a haircut anymore. Fodder for The Boy Who Doesn't Trust Easily.

----

We are changing doctors. The old one has an office that looks like a vet's office to me, and had a surly receptionist, and the doc doesn't listen very well, so we are moving on. It's too easy to think they have the patent on authority when in fact the PATIENT can control things. In this case, we are making a smart move! We did the same with dentists and made a tremendous upgrade.

----

Chicken Little was eliminated from American Idol and now it's getting serious. I have no idea how America votes, so can't handicap the winner. There are a few extremely good talents in the competition, that's for sure.

And Mandissa is the best looking, uh, really large woman I've ever seen. It'll be interesting to learn if that size issue kills her in the voting. She's a GREAT singer.

----

More odd voice auditions this week - British (John Cleese type) and a Harley Davidson type, neither of which I can do well. Where are the jobs like I used to do, warm and friendly?

NEWSFLASH

IN AN ATTEMPT TO THWART THE SPREAD OF BIRD FLU, GEORGE W. BUSH HAS BOMBED THE CANARY ISLANDS.

GREEN GREEN GRASS OF HOME

(Tom Jones)

Another song title. Two for two.

As we had two and a half days of rain, things are seriously growing now. And my fall planting of wildflowers will now show or be DOA due to the serious drought we had this winter.

One thing that worries me is that almost the entire front of the house - from house to driveway (where grass was) is now covered in some lacy green/not grass growth. If weeds, we are in for a big crop. If wildflowers, I may have flunked the Johnny Appleseed planting school for idiots with black thumbs.

Well, wildflower or not, there's one big nasty weed that sticks out like a zit in a prom picture... and this Little Shop Of Horrors star is going to drink some Roundup before sundown tomorrow.

A neighbor is a master gardener. I will ask her to come over and hope she doesn't have a nervous breakdown on the spot.

ALREADY GONE

(Eagles)

Wonder how many posts I can make with song titles?

After one movie, I am already sold (gone) on NetFlix. We took advantage of a free two weeks. If you rent DVDs, the only question I have is WHY WOULDN'T you do NetFlix?

Seriously.

No more trips to the video rental store.

No more out of stock.

No more 'forgot to remove the security lock on the DVD case!' (I broke the boxes to get in, but it wasn't easy. Damn things were like bank vaults!)

And most of all, no more returning to avoid late fees.

For years now, on every single visit to HOLLYWOOD VIDEO or the one back in Minnesota - I already forget the name... every visit, I'd hear a voice in my head chanting "this has got to be obsolete."

Now, for less than the cost of what we rented, we get 2 DVDs at a time, endlessly, with no late fees and mail both ways. And they E mail you the latest release list AND also suggest other titles based on the ones you chose.

This is so much better.

And speaking of so much better, as we wait, amazed at its longevity, for our TV to die to run out and buy a new HDTV, SONY has just jumped a hurdle in whispers about its 2006 line. FINALLY sets with full 1080P connectivity are about to be released, along with their Blu-ray DVD payer that will output that full resolution. And while the competing high definition format will down-res HD-DVD into existing HDTV sets (only providing analog outputs at much lower picture quality), Blu-Ray will offer full fidelity. I can't wait (though this is all premature - that gear isn't out yet.)


If you want to read more, go to my Home Theater blog.

STALKER !!!

My friend Geoff Fox today(see side panel for link to his site) posts about a site which follows celebrity sightings up to the minute, or almost. Makes sense that it COULD what with WiFi and laptops. I'll link to it below.

Geoff's point is that a celebrity (and believe me, he is one locally after 20 years or so in Connecticut, on TV that long) surrenders anonymity as part of the gig.

The thing that impressed me is how few of the people sighted last week I EVER HEARD OF!

Gawk away at Gawker Stalker!

NOT SO FAR AWAY

Amazing how tightly woven the world has become. Last night at a party, we met some neighbors - the husband's sister lives in the next town over from where I grew up. We met another couple from the next town over from where Terri grew up. (Both towns at least 1500 miles from here.)

When we came home and walked the dog, I heard Willie Nelson singing about 2 miles from here at an outdoor venue.

One day in Minneapolis we came within a mile or two of President Bush as he was in Air Force One (fantastic sight, btw.) flying out of the airport.

I know I've been within a mile of President Clinton when he visited Minneapolis - based on where he was speaking and where I was at the time.

In Montreal, the Canadian Prime Minister's WIFE (separated) lived somewhere above me in my building. Guy LeFleur parked in my building there, as the Montreal Forum was right across the street. All the stars who played there in concerts or games were - what - 200 yards from me in my apartment.

I was talking to a woman the other day while waiting for my car to be serviced and she told me she had seen Sarah Bullock down the street at Starbucks.

I spoke with Jimmy Kimmel at a friend's party in LA.

John Belushi pushed his way through a crowd and brushed by me at a convention, apologizing as he went.

Dan Rather and Jane Fonda both were in the hall outside my office in Buffalo, as they were visiting the attached TV station. (Different visits.)

Jim Haslett (former coach of the New Orleans Saints), Chuck Knox, Scotty Bowman, all worked for me at that station in Buffalo. So did Warren Moon while in Houston.

I read today that singer Jack Ingram is opening Texas dates for Sheryl Crow. I haven't met him yet but he's building a house just down the street. His neighbors include The Undertaker - a wrestler; and a Heisman Trophy winner. Another award winning singer - Larry Gatlin, lives 3 houses away.

Met about all the country stars from 1993 to 1998 or so. Had dinners with several. Clint Black, Shania Twain, come to mind. Lunch with Sara Evans and others.

Josh Groban, Jessica Simpson, Michael McDonald, Donnie Osmond, Duran Duran, Dave Koz --- the parade of folks outside my office door or our studio was long, while in Minneapolis.

Many more if I'd think about it long enough.

Marty Feldman google eyed me through the glass in Montreal at that radio station. Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart. Donald Sutherland had coffee with us.

I sat beside Sly Stone at a club, right next to him at his keyboard (though I was behind a rack, but that close.)

I worked with The Turtles on top of a custard stand at an amusement park (providing the sound system.)

So the story is the tightly wound world... and how in it the famous travel everywhere, ARE everywhere, sometimes colliding, paralleling, and touching the lives of the rest of us.

I CAN'T DRIBBLE

Growing up there were two seasons. Baseball at the playground and Football in the street. Once in a while there'd be a brief excursion to someone's hoop, but not for long.

When I was in grade school, about 5th or 6th grade, the nun (!) was playing basketball with the boys at lunch. She threw the ball to me. I was under the empty basket - as the other boys ran toward me, I tried for a basket. Missed. Had time for another throw before they got there. Missed again. Maybe that stopped me cold. I am still embarrassed! I can see that moment so clearly. If there are peak experiences there surely are valley experiences and that was one!

I've tried. I just can't dribble.

And if I have to move with the ball, I lose it. No coordination. I envy the guys who still play, all macho and elbows...

Somewhere way below the post is a picture from my early 20s, as a disc jockey in Pittsburgh at the big Top 40 station - I scored so little that when I finally DID they stopped the game and announced my first ever basket. Another valley.

So that takes us to the March Madness. I usually don't care at all. When coerced I'd enter the office pool and simply pick best records... usually I would do well, but never win. I don't watch or care about basketball.

THIS year, though, and much to my surprise, my alma mater, Villanova, is highly ranked (2) and seeded. I like it when the school gets any good press. It validates my diploma. I want people to nod knowingly if they ever ask where I went to college.

The president of the school taught me several classes in high school. About 20 years later, upon his appointment, I shot him a letter - just a "good for you" letter.

HE ANSWERED IT and remembered me and cited classes he had taught me! Clearly he has a great memory and is a people person (though we weren't close or anything when I was a student and he was a young teacher!)

They have a great on-line tour, btw! Nice facilities. Beautiful grounds. I did graduate, but radio at the campus radio station actually changed my life more than the courses I took.

So, Go Wildcats! I'll watch when they go all the way.

SXSW

South by Southwest (SXSW) is under full swing/rock/pop/rap/film/workshop/gig/ahowcase. It's huge. A billion bands and filmmakers and stars twinkle into town and strut their stuff for agents, bookers, hookers, industry heavies and pretenders. Described as an important step in building a career, there are bands from all over the world performing in - what - 70? locations around town almost non-stop. I attempted to count performances - I stopped at over 700 with pages to go! They say 1400 bands play during this event!

It makes you proud, and helps keep the edge that Austin embraces as its specialty.

I admit that working 15 miles away from downtown where a lot of the action is, I am tempted to hit a bar or coffee shop just to see who I might run into. I think Neil Young is in town today. Charlize Theron yesterday. Lyle Lovett the day before. Ray Romano, Brad Garrett, Herbie Hancock... and many many more - I can't even begin to list them all. I'll put a good link here.

And - I note today - that Austin is putting in Hi Speed wide area Wi-Fi networks to cover downtown and beyond, free, in the very near future! Not bad!

AMAZING COMMERCIAL

We watched and heard it last night! It made us look at each other in disbelief - did we really HEAR that? Oh yes. In fact, there were two commercials, one voiced by a male, another by a female.

...for the Ma Harshi Enlightenment Center. Yup.

Supposed to be MA HA RI SHI... speaking of 'enlightenment!'

Doesn't anybody review these things? I mean, in a TV spot it's a gang tackle, not like radio where only one person can get it all wrong by him/herself.

Transcendental would probably be The Trains and Dental.

Whew!

BOND, DANIEL BOND

BOND in Mud

I like Daniel Craig. Can't remember the first movie title in which I saw him, but believe me, he'll be fine. And I saw a clip somewhere were he emerges from the sea (remember Ursula Andress? No? Halle Berry?) Well, this'll be a treat (and fantasy) for the ladies. The man is cut. Damn him.

But I do like him - he's got a little Steve McQueen cool in him, some mystery. As they take the Bond franchise back to the earliest Ian Flemming Bond book, they will lose a lot of the gimmicks, Moneypenny, Q, and instead show Bond become an 007, licensed to kill. They say we'll see more of a human side.

There will still be big stunts.

The latest movie in a 44-year franchise that has grossed almost $4 billion since "Dr. No," starring Sean Connery, was screened in 1962, "Casino Royale" will be a return to the roots, said co-producer Barbara Broccoli.

What do they do with all that money?

I didn't like Roger Moore. Brosnan was good. Connery set the mark very high though. Dalton was good for me - Wayne Newton as a bad guy was inspired casting.

I remember after seeing the first Bond st the seahore movies in 1962, my friend Jim and I went to the boardwalk machine-gun shooting (bb) range and felt testosterone for maybe the first time and we shot the place up. But it was the 60s. I don't know what that means except to say I'll bet 6th graders now get testosterone surges.
We were in high school.

I even bought the soundtrack album.

I did read several of the Bond books while travelling with my parents in Europe, so they seemed even more real.

ON CAMERA

My $12.95 color USB camera has arrived. Unlike many other toys, it loaded the driver quickly and caused no grief. I now SKYPE with video feed. The first person I tried it on - the same guy who got me to load Skype (always free) way back in the frontier days - freaked! He was going nuts. His Skype camera is on order.

It really does deliver that sense of being there that must be experienced to be believed. If you want one (and I get no piece of this, I assure you - here's the link.

Skype is too good to be free. I say that thinking that they might think that too. I FEAR they do, because it is addictive, especially with video. Free calls anywhere in the world (over broadband)... with video!

The AT&T people are trying to figure out how to get a piece. Wouldn't surprise me if our guvimint makes it so someday. I'll bet the lobbyists are recruiting the extra special hookers now.

FROM HERE TO... THERE.

When I was doing commercials and narrations in Buffalo, New York, in the 80s, I did work that was for NORWAY and SOUTH AFRICA, among the local and regional usual suspects.

And after moving here from Minnesota in 2005, I found myself doing work for a banking institution today - which is in WISCONSIN!

How it happens, I have no idea.

Pass the cheese?

KELLIE IS A MINX?

Kellie Pickler

MINX n : a seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men [syn: coquette, flirt, vamp, vamper, tease.


Last night Simon called a contestant, Kellie Pickler, on American Idol "a Minx." She's so unhip (and charmingly, disarmingly naive, she thought he said MINK. When corrected, she had never heard of it.) --- If this is an act, then skip Idol and cast her in film right away! Later Ryan Seacrest asked her what new food she had this past week - she replied, "SAL mon."

I think Simon misused the word and may indeed need to apologize.

I root for her. Mandissa is awesome though, and it'll be a tough slog to the win against her - she WAILS.

My name is Bob and I'm an American Idol addict.

"I'VE HAD THEM FOR A WHILE."

There it is, men, the trick answer.

"Are those new shoes?"

"No, I've had them for a while."

Ah ha! We have found the trick. I believe I saw the rabbit.

You see, men, women, according to my new theory, actually buy and STOCKPILE shoes, so indeed, that statement isn't untrue.

And if, like Terri, your wife handles the money, well, you'll never know exactly.

What to do about it?

There's nothing you can do. Smile and nod. Say "They're nice." For extra credit say, "They make your legs look fabulous." But beware the trap: "You mean my legs don't usually look good?" Your response should then be: "Always, great. Now, fabulous." Just know that this might send her back to the store to look for that same model in other colors.

At our house, I tend to hold off on buying small, inexpensive things... And go for that new digital camera for $1,000.

And so, there's no way I could ever object to shoe hoarding, unless Terri sees this and uses it against me.

TV CAMERA for $12.95

I remember the college TV "Station" in which various forward-thinking profs videotaped certain lectures. It was 1967 and 1968, and RAW. The cameras were huge and took a ton of light (and only then put out a fair black and white picture.) The VCRs were big heavy beasts which took reel-to-reel tape and were touchy as all get out.

Flash forward: Sunday a friend in Connecticut and I "skyped" - this is a free computer program that sends full fidelity voice over the internet (broadband), in effect a telephone call though a giant leap more 'present' as it sounds as if the person is in the room. It requires microphone and speakers on both ends, and the free software.


I had been slow to come to the party as another friend raved for a solid year before I got Broadband and actually tried Skype. It's as addictive as any toy I've used.

But wait, there's more. It gets better.

Sunday, I mentioned to my friend Geoff that we could do video on the latest upgrade of Skype, if we only had a camera. He said, "Wait a minute," and dug out his tiny, marble sized, wireless, color camera, and hooked into Skype. This thing put out an amazing picture with sound and he then took it/me for a walk downstairs and out of the house, with only a little breakup!!!

This is a killer application!

With Geoff's help, I then located a color USB camera and ordered it for $12.95. I can't wait till the whole world has these things. What a communication revolution!

Remember the 'picture phones' once defining the far edge of the future? (You do if you saw the 1964 World's Fair.) This is better. And real. And cheap. Give me a few days then Skype me and you'll see!

Download Skype Free.

THE OSCARS

78th annual... and still boring.

Read a phonebook. It's the same thing as watching the Oscars, except you get to see stars do it, as they prattle on listing their (WHO CARES?) thank you people. You want maybe a little insight into your favorite star - you watch - you lose!

The only moment I caught was Jennifer Garner slipping and not even embarrassed - she simply said, smiling, "I do my own stunts, too." Class. DAMN YOU Ben Affleck.

Bad red carpet interviews on ABC. Then... A super special effects thing with famous lines delivered from their original films, stripped of backgrounds and put into a clever "this is Hollywood" digital composite. Then a great funny clever opening, with former hosts, then a dream sequence with John Stewart. That hinted of great to come. It didn't. The later montages were boring and overdone (except maybe the gay lines in old westerns.)

They ran fake commercials in which competitors tore at each other - good idea, only half baked.

And John Stewart... boring beyond the opening 'dream.' I give him credit. He took his time and remained calm as the ship sank. Or it did for me. Our floor was wet under the TV. If only it had sparked, there would have been some excitement in the room.

There was/ always is a huge long parade of winners you never heard of and couldn't care less about (Sound editing, special effects, set decoration, more and more.) And a lecture about why going to the movies is still good (I guess the academy president has special seats. I get seats next to the coughing man, the candy in noisy plastic gobbler, the talkers, the smell-bad. Then 20 minutes of pre-show entertainment/ads.)

The rap performance (not the dancing or set) was actually very good.

Some favorites won. Crash as best picture was a surprise, not being the 'frontrunner' but it's very very good. Brokeback didn't sweep (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

There were a few good jokes. Some better than average acceptance speeches, but the average was lowball. Nice gowns. Keira Knightly is incredibly beautiful. Clooney, P.S. Hoffman, Weitz gave good speeches. D. Hoffman went off card and was funny. Or real. Thomlin/Streep did a hard-to-do piece which was trashed in our paper - they didn't get it was 'doing' Altman which it was FOR.

Why trash without offering a solution? Here it is: Do only these awards on TV: best actor, actress, supporting actor, actress, director, film. Save the best documentary, foreign language film, etc., for after midnight. Or downloading.

Show more of each nominated film and performance. That serves Hollywood, and gets folks out of their chairs who still haven't seen the movies. Have each nominee do a pre-taped piece about the film for which they were nominated and what it meant to them - the best and hardest parts maybe... let us get to know them a bit more.

Stop glorifying the past. It is or isn't what you want it to be. Let it lie there.

Stop dragging out an old Hollywood icon to show they are still alive. Lauren Bacall was embarrassing. Maybe she was trying to get cast on LOST. If it was booze or drugs or age, well, it wasn't good for her or the show. Sorry.

The Academy Awards are stuck in tradition. They are self-serving and boring. If you could count almost 12 years in Minnesota now 1+ years here in Texas, I guess that puts us attitudinally in Iowa, as middle America as they come. Please, somebody fix this show - it could be so much better!

AMERICAN IDOL

Simon says the contestants need CONFIDENCE to do a great job. (I admit, I am now addicted to this run of American Idol... completely sucked in, with the very important help of TiVo so I can skip the fluff.)

And that's how I've felt ever since my last VO session (VoiceOver, i.e.: commercial). That's really what it IS - selling something with conviction. And that takes confidence. It's almost a psychic thing. It influences how words come out. Why the new confidence? Well, it was as if, after a time of dormancy, I came back at full power.

I went through a period of "silent' reflux that was eating away my vocal chords, but now it's completely healed. Something must have accompanied that in my self-image, because I feel at the top of my game again. Now we'll see if confidence somehow wins me more jobs!

I love losing myself in performance. It's cathartic.

INTERNET MARKETING ADVISORS

My new business is open for business.

INTERNET MARKETING ADVISORS
offers website optimization and consultation. MANY websites need it! Few understand how the web can be put to work for their service or business. A lot of people put up poorly functioning sites and then think the web doesn't work. Big surprise: pretty doesn't equal good!

It's simple: people search for information on the internet. If search engines rank you among the 'finds', you are browsed. If your content is compelling, you can convert the visit to business.

Getting found is relatively simple. Being high on the list of finds is more difficult - there IS competition, and technique to follow.

That's why KEYWORDS (searched words or phrases) are so important. I have the metrics that can tell me demand and supply per keyword!

There's so much more - check my site if you wish to learn this new medium - it's a pretty darn good education!

(We also build relatively simple websites, like INTERNET MARKETING ADVISORS or even Great Home Theater)

FIRST SHOT FIRED IN A NEW WAR! HD-DVD

Remember Beta vs VHS? Well, a new war - a format war - will be fought between two high definition DVD camps: HD-DVD and Blu-Ray. Each has proponents, major ones, studio backing, etc., and each has its own set of wonderful features, but of course - they are incompatible so far. It's thought the world will wait till the war is won before jumping on a bandwagon.

I know what you are asking: yes, they are both backwards-compatible with 'normal' DVDs.

There is one heck of a lot of money on the table. This could make the HDTV market even hotter. They say that nothing is as good as a great high-definition DVD.

Well, today, the first unit is out - Toshiba's HDA-1, at $499 list. That's a LOT less than I expected. If you want to buy one or read about it - I have it covered on my Home Theater website.

BUSH LEAGUE

W's approval rating, according to a CBS news poll, is now 34% (a new low!)

The poll also found that 46 per cent hold a negative view of VP Dick Cheney and 18 per cent hold a favourable view, down from a 23-per-cent favourable rating in January.

The telephone poll of 1018 adults was conducted on February 22-26 and had a margin of error of plus or minus three percentage points. The White House Tilt-a-Whirl operator will no doubt comment that these 1018 adults are unpatriotic, and that CBS is a bastion of liberal bias and lies - look at what Dan Rather made up just to embarass the President.

JOHN STEWART HOSTS THE OSCARS

He's funny, glib, very bright and irreverent. I hope he scores BIG. I'm a fan. Others have endured hours of flop sweat, and that isn't pretty.

They say Johnny Carson was the all-time champ host, and I'll agree. But the country was a gentler place then, too. Now a little edge will fit right in. But here's the thing: too much will work AGAINST Stewart, so it's a delicate balancing act.

I'm not a fan of Billy Crystal. He just has that "look at me" look which I don't find attractive, though undoubtedly I'm in the minority. Compare our careers - he wins. I enjoyed the schtick where they put him into movies. He does a great Muhammad Ali/Howard Cosell bit - it's perfect. But I'm just not there for him.

Whoopi Goldberg has a different, slower pulse, to my way of thinking, which makes her too droll for the gig.

Ellen DeGeneres is perfect. She's cheerful, confident, and funny! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Leno would be too hyper.

Letterman wouldn't go near it again.

Steve Martin scored, but with him you expect crazy-against-his-look, so when he's straight it seems wrong.

We'll watch Sunday night, but I will gag when the winners each get up there and accept an award by reading their personal phone directories of agents and lawyers and hangers-on. Sure wish they'd cut that out. Geez, if they don't have ANY personalilty, wouldn't you think they'd hire someone to write a script they could memorize and deliver? Think of the difference between something meaningful and 45 seconds of names!

Something like this:

"I am so very, very grateful to those with whom I had the good fortune to work on this project, and for those who back me up in so many ways, every day. But I want to take just a few seconds to encourage the young boy or girl who may be watching and whose fantasy world deserves to grow and shine. To you I say: Never give up. You see, the world of pretend is a wonderful world when it can open the minds and hearts of so many, to lead them to a place of great ideas, deep feelings, and sharing."

...and heck, that's only 30 seconds.

CELL PHONE HIJINX?

Has this happened to you? You check your phone for voicemail(WOW - spell check doesn't recognize "voicemail"!) and get no messages... then later you check and there are several (yet the phone never rang?)

It seems like E mails come in batches too... you'll get none all afternoon, then two or three all at once.

Coincidence? Conspiracy?

PARADIGM SHIFT

I took my film to the photo place and asked that they develop and transfer to disc. No prints! (This from a guy with cartons and cartons - big ones - full of pictures in the attic and many more blow-ups in closets, unhung due to lack of wife-approved wall space!)

I also browsed the digital SLR cameras and now I want one. The only problem is, I'll bet my other two lesser cameras would sell for about $29.00! Oh well, there's always Christmas.

COMMERCIAL WORK #2

This was a pleasure - the folks at the studio (TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD) were very nice and friendly, the producer specific (you WANT direction) and the studio SOUND wonderful.

Over many years, I've heard myself on TV, radio, and in cinema... on many many radios and radio stations over the years, and many many studios. I have a home studio (almost state of the art). So when I am impressed, that's saying something!

How does it come to be? Skill, equipment synergism, acoustic design.

There's now an incumbent in east Texas with one gooooood commercial, if I do say so.

Wish I had kept count... I wouldn't be surprised if I've done 10,000 commercials in my career (unfortunately, most were for radio stations I worked at and I was not paid separately.) I've done an audio book, movie trailers, announced and acted. I love it all.

TALKING IN MY SLEEP

Yesterday I asked Terri if her alarm clock was a radio? While still semi-asleep I thought I heard talk after she left the bed. She said no.

Today she told me she found out where the talking was coming from - ME!

I've begun to talk in my sleep. Not only that, she said I was walking fast (while in bed.) Words are as of yet indistinct.

Uh oh. Why do I feel this could lead to trouble?!!!

COMMERCIAL WORK

Tomorrow I do my first political voiceover for an incumbent in a small market. It would be very nice if I could get in with a consultant who has many clients and lots of work.

I had to examine my political feelings before accepting. I am afraid you really can't know the product (correct word choice) well enough to validate such work. I must hope the voters study up before they vote.

Today I auditioned for a national TV spot which would pay very very well, BUT it's a character voice and I don't think I nailed it. But you never know - it's completely subjective!

ST. LUCIA BLOG

"Luuuucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!"

I never said that ONCE while in St. Lucia. I forgot.

I am trying to figure out the best way to blog about that trip after the fact. Some of the story is a few posts south of this one. With no connection to the outside world, I couldn't blog each day, so will have to reconstruct. I did take about 300 digital and 70 film pictures. Once I get a chance, I'd like to post some, but am not sure if that's best on this blog, or a specialized one, or even through some other service. I'll keep you posted.

Camera comparison

Well, I can tell you the SLR was much easier to use and except for SEEING the pictures and the economy of taking several to get the best of the best, had it all over the point-and-shoot Minolta. Why? A much clearer viewfinder, a much wider zoom lens (and down to 28mm!) and much more latitude in settings. The Minolta only does 2.8 to 3.5 for aperture. (I must be wrong about this - I believe I am quoting the minimums but haven't seen a larger number, or missed it if displayed!) Without looking, I'd guess the Canon goes f2.8 to f22.

The whole waste issue, which I blame on the grade school nuns who beat it into our heads to 'finish our lunch because there were starving kids in China' (huh?) still haunts me when it comes to shooting film. But in digi - heck - you can just shoot and shoot and shoot. Erase what you don't like. Shoot some more. Memory is reusable and batteries rechargeable!

I like the digi for handing off to someone to take a picture with me in it - I can check their work right away.

What I will do is have the film transferred to digital too, and compare.

BATHROOM

The toilet facilities, even on a luxury sailing yacht, can be tiny and manual. Luckily for us, this one was electric. Go and push the button. Hold for 20 seconds.

Others we have experienced are manual - turn the valve, pump 20 times, turn it the other way, pump more. About midweek those tend to start to bray like a mule. EEEE aaaaaaawwww EEEEE aaaaaaaaawwwww.... each stroke announcing to the world...

But this electric one was so convenient. To flush you push and hold the button. AND Try to ignore that it then sounds like a 1956 tractor engine running at 95% of flat out. Kind of embarrassing. But nicely functional.

I didn't take any pictures of the toilet and bathroom. You'll have to take my word it was very small. I think a really large person could get wedged in there.

EXOTIC FAUNA

Nope. Cows, chickens, goats, sea birds, dogs and cats.

EXOTIC FLORA

Oh yes. Sorry I can't name them, but we believe that St. Lucia has the 2nd most diverse flora in the world! And the spring season was ON! Lush!

SUPERMODELS ON SUPERYACHTS

Didn't see any models - did see and photograph some mighty fine super yachts. I blew air kisses just in case.

There was one Blonde who was on our flight out of St. Lucy... I suggested to Terri she was a supermodel but Terri wasn't buying that. She was about TWICE Terri's size. Okay, I exaggerate. But she was darn near 6 feet tall and lanky. With makeup and photo retouching what it is, I'm not so sure she wasn't...

THE CAVALCADE OF TIME

I just realized today, this continuity: that my dad wrote letters to whomever - even the White House - as a concerned citizen.

My stepfather wrote letters to the editor.

And I have 3 blogs and two websites.

BIRDING WITH A 28 GAUGE SHOTGUN

Not a great idea. The shot pattern is wrong.

I saw a video in which, with the same gun model and ammo, they tried to hit things at 90 feet - the distance the VP was supposed to be from his companion. Nope. Too far away. Too much spread. Cut to the chase - to do what was done to the poor man, he'd be shot from about 15-18 feet.

Was the Veep loaded? Is that why the police were kept away?

And the reported timeline is oddly out of sync. Look it up.

There are many unanswered questions on this one, and my sense is the press isn't going to let up. This isn't conspiracy theory stuff - this is a very poorly handled accident BY PEOPLE WHOSE PROFESSION IS HANDLING THINGS.