I have dry skin. When the humidity drops to a certain point, the dry skin starts to itch. I know not to scratch it. When I scratch it, it only itches more. So I hold off. Until I slip. Fall off the wagon. Scratchhhhhhhh! It feels so good. Then it itches more, then I scratch more. And more and more.
I call it ITCHGASM. Sometimes, almost as good as the other gasm.
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
MIRACLE
I was reminded it's been a while since I have blogged. True. So here goes. I am going to tell the story of a miracle.
At first I thought maybe I had a cataract, or a stroke, but darn if the big 60 inch Hi Def TV was actually dimming from time to time. It'd drop down a noticeable notch and was still viewable, but something clearly was happening. Quality suffered. I blamed the local cable provider, because they suck so badly. Or maybe the actual TV station because they suck technically so badly. Example: cloudiness or blur to pictures. Bad audio. Gee, even the Grammys were pretty screechy. Of course I could blame my beloved TiVo too, as everything routes through it. Or the Denon receiver, a major, MAJOR hassle and most user unfriendly device made to date.
I investigated. Turns out nobody I could find online complained about this brightness issue.
Our set is a fairly thin rear screen projector. At the time, maybe 5 years ago, it was state of the art, almost. Now they are thin, THIN, but when it works the picture is pretty good. I had it professionally calibrated too.
Last night I turned all on with my iPhone app, yet the screen didn't come on. Usually there's a little delay. No, this is no little delay. Then, a red light I've never seen before flashed on the bezel: under it in tiny letters it said "Change bulb."
Happily I had ordered one a few weeks back. Superbowl lighting wasn't only dim in NOLA.
Here's the deal: I, Bob Wood, unhandy with some things, would take apart the TV and change the bulb: sitcom and fireworks fodder. The bulb came with zero instructions. Bravely, I soldiered on. I put on cotton gloves, lest some finger oil get onto the bulb, which will blow it up. I could tell where the bulb went because that's the side of the set where it looks like that scene in ET where the light is shining around the door edges. Panel, off. And ooooh, another hidden panel under the first one. Off with it.
Now, how to remove the old dead bulb assembly? Yes, as I found when I opened the box, the light is within an assembly. I pulled, then wiggled and wobbled it... all the while believing that alignment must be perfect or you don't get a good picture. Boldly, I yanked with more pressure. And out it came like an abscessed tooth! Here it is.
12 billion candlepower (I imagine.)
And just for fun, it sits at an angle.
But here's the miracle: I got the new unit installed, forgot then remembered the inner (secret) panel, fired it up... and...
Old guy on the news.
At first I thought maybe I had a cataract, or a stroke, but darn if the big 60 inch Hi Def TV was actually dimming from time to time. It'd drop down a noticeable notch and was still viewable, but something clearly was happening. Quality suffered. I blamed the local cable provider, because they suck so badly. Or maybe the actual TV station because they suck technically so badly. Example: cloudiness or blur to pictures. Bad audio. Gee, even the Grammys were pretty screechy. Of course I could blame my beloved TiVo too, as everything routes through it. Or the Denon receiver, a major, MAJOR hassle and most user unfriendly device made to date.
I investigated. Turns out nobody I could find online complained about this brightness issue.
Our set is a fairly thin rear screen projector. At the time, maybe 5 years ago, it was state of the art, almost. Now they are thin, THIN, but when it works the picture is pretty good. I had it professionally calibrated too.
Last night I turned all on with my iPhone app, yet the screen didn't come on. Usually there's a little delay. No, this is no little delay. Then, a red light I've never seen before flashed on the bezel: under it in tiny letters it said "Change bulb."
Happily I had ordered one a few weeks back. Superbowl lighting wasn't only dim in NOLA.
Here's the deal: I, Bob Wood, unhandy with some things, would take apart the TV and change the bulb: sitcom and fireworks fodder. The bulb came with zero instructions. Bravely, I soldiered on. I put on cotton gloves, lest some finger oil get onto the bulb, which will blow it up. I could tell where the bulb went because that's the side of the set where it looks like that scene in ET where the light is shining around the door edges. Panel, off. And ooooh, another hidden panel under the first one. Off with it.
Now, how to remove the old dead bulb assembly? Yes, as I found when I opened the box, the light is within an assembly. I pulled, then wiggled and wobbled it... all the while believing that alignment must be perfect or you don't get a good picture. Boldly, I yanked with more pressure. And out it came like an abscessed tooth! Here it is.
12 billion candlepower (I imagine.)
And just for fun, it sits at an angle.
But here's the miracle: I got the new unit installed, forgot then remembered the inner (secret) panel, fired it up... and...
Old guy on the news.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
CHRISTMAS LETTER 2012
Another year flies by. And next week the world ends (Mayan calendar. Dec 21st) But just in case it doesn't, here's the annual letter. No cards this year. But for a good cause.
 |
| Everything is sooo big! |
Back in February we flew in
this little 12 pound ball of fluff from Kentucky. Now he’s 45 pounds of mostly muscle, teeth
and fluff. His name is Chester. Born on the day we had to put down 15 year old Jessie
the Cocker, he’s about a 2/3 scale
Golden retriever. Lighter fur than Donald Trump. He’s a rare breed. Way back in the day, a certain poodle was put
into the bloodline as the breeder played Genetics. Dad was a shrimp. Not seafood, short. Mom was a beautiful white Golden. Or White-en. She should have been named Betty, but was DameMutworthUptail or something ASPCA friendly. As a pup,
Chester’d eat anything. I found a light
cord where he chewed through and bared both wires. Somehow he survived. And the house didn’t burn down. I haven’t been able to teach him to speak English, but I swear he whined “Rigatoni” once.
 |
| I love rabbit poop! |
 |
| I own the world. |
 |
| Mrf mmrrrf mrrrrr. |
Chester, earlier in puppyhood, would eat any plush toy we gave him. It wouldn’t take but a little chewing, OFF goes the leg, OFF goes the head, stuffing being swallowed like cool whip. Of course we’d try to carefully monitor him and when the stuffing became exposed, we’d trash that little piggy or ‘coon or hedgehog or whatever. So Chester gets better at it – faster – bigger sharper teeth. Pretty soon he’s swallowed a squeaker. It’d be funny if he’d fart a squeal, but more’n’likely the squeaker would plug his intestine, and we’d face serious surgery. After a quick consult with his trainer, we took him to an emergency vet (of course it was the weekend) where they induced vomitage. Somehow they had an old Madonna movie... said it works every time!
BANG! We were hit by
lightning. It scared the beejesus out of
us. There was beejesus all over
everything. Again, no fire, but damage
included both computers (Compu-Toast!), an air conditioner controller, the pool
equipment master control board, and other fun repairs. No hole. Metal Roof.
It was like being on the inside of an exploding bubble of light and
concussion, but very very fast. You
don’t say, “Were we hit?” You say “Where
were we hit?” One of my mirrored hard
drives was dead, the other iffy. Both
computers were later replaced.
Taking this as an omen (not really), we
put the house up for sale (really.) Selling these
days is mostly via building an internet presence. We are very present and very internet, and
have had a few nibbles but haven’t hooked a buyer. After a showing, one realtor left a door
open. Not to negotiation – she left a
door open. I see no critters appearing yet, but that’s
sloppy realtoring. If the doorknob is a
challenge, then I’d expect a buyer’s contract in Crayola.
So where will we go? Don’t know.
Austin, yes. Roof, yes. Running water, yes. Toilets, hopefully. Why
are we selling? Downsizing. We are at some sort of crossroads. Life.
It’ll getcha.
By the way, when warranties expire, things break, die, or stop working. In my experience that's in 7 years. We have been here 8. Have seen a lot of repair people lately. One day we had 12 guys working. You can't sell a broken house/waterheater/refrigerator/stove - you name it. Heck, back in Minnesota the house sold with a new AC and heating system, new floor, new roof, new driveway, new landscaping and more.
By the way, when warranties expire, things break, die, or stop working. In my experience that's in 7 years. We have been here 8. Have seen a lot of repair people lately. One day we had 12 guys working. You can't sell a broken house/waterheater/refrigerator/stove - you name it. Heck, back in Minnesota the house sold with a new AC and heating system, new floor, new roof, new driveway, new landscaping and more.
About Christmas, whatever
happened to tinsel?
.jpg)
You KNOW about the Mayans and
the predicted end of the world on December 21st? It’s an earlier version (or later) of
Y2K. If somebody doesn’t run an end of
the world sale – “put it on the credit card!” – then the advertising community will let
us all down. If you were going to end
the world imagine the show you could put on.* Of course there are billions of stars with billions of planets so you
know they come and go. Our hubris makes
us think it won’t happen here. Hey –
wait – don’t mean to bum you out. Just
saying…
*If I was to produce the end of the world it'd be commercial free, that's certain.. I'd reunite the Beatles. They'd seem huge, spread across the sky, backed up by some crazy Grateful Dead lightshow. They'd do a medley and maybe even a new song or two, then, The End. As they finished, luminescent flakes would fall all over the world, like snow, even indoors, but when they touched anyone they'd have an orgasm and pass.
...meanwhile we dance with danger at the fiscal cliff.
*If I was to produce the end of the world it'd be commercial free, that's certain.. I'd reunite the Beatles. They'd seem huge, spread across the sky, backed up by some crazy Grateful Dead lightshow. They'd do a medley and maybe even a new song or two, then, The End. As they finished, luminescent flakes would fall all over the world, like snow, even indoors, but when they touched anyone they'd have an orgasm and pass.
...meanwhile we dance with danger at the fiscal cliff.
 |
| Fiscal Cliff Santa |
 |
| The Family Crest |
Well, not so much biting
sarcasm this year, so no ointment will be needed now.
Happy and Merry!!!
Happy and Merry!!!
Monday, November 05, 2012
FLIGHT
We went to the 3:30 showing on Sunday. That (crowded) audience didn't make a single sound for the entire film! It was that engrossing, but, as Denzel Washington said on some interview I saw, "The stuff in the preview isn't what it's about." It's not. The rest of the story is triggered by the crash.
It's really an exploration of rock bottom.
Not entirely realistic, but easy to have empathy for the character played by Denzel, and in the end, it depressed me. I'm not sure why.
It's really an exploration of rock bottom.
Not entirely realistic, but easy to have empathy for the character played by Denzel, and in the end, it depressed me. I'm not sure why.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
NOBODY'S HOME
This is the halloween story of the christmas grinch. We don't welcome kiddos tonight. We used to, in Minnesota, where the neighborhood was larger and closer. We'd even give out full size bars of A list candy. And I'd eat what was left. One year we had 70 kids. I think the word got out.
My job was (and would be) to hold the dog back. Terri would say nice things to the kids. I'd lurk and feel like a perv if I went to the door myself.
So here we just turn off the lights and try to stay below the windows. Terri gets some special things for the kid almost next door. And that's it.
Tonight I am going out as a restaurant patron. Wearing a white shirt. To the Italian Restaurant. If I make a mess I can always claim it's blood.
My job was (and would be) to hold the dog back. Terri would say nice things to the kids. I'd lurk and feel like a perv if I went to the door myself.
So here we just turn off the lights and try to stay below the windows. Terri gets some special things for the kid almost next door. And that's it.
Tonight I am going out as a restaurant patron. Wearing a white shirt. To the Italian Restaurant. If I make a mess I can always claim it's blood.
Monday, October 22, 2012
STATIC
Random half sentences and things:
"like claiming "the cigarette lighter fell out and started a seat fire" could be the best defense for erratic driving..."
My dog has big teeth.
It hit me at a low level, like being ankle pecked by ducks.
He had a look like you'd expect on a constipated man.
Her hair blew in the breeze like spun cotton candy.
The remote control was so hard to understand, nobody would ever know when the thing stopped working.
A wooden clothes pin is the thumbtack to the past.
Did they tune the sound of a strike? Did they figure a way to make that hit on those pins to sound so fulfilling, like a brief orgasm?
I would like a job where they pay me to do this all day.
The vulture actually landed on his car's hood and its talons scratched right up. That's the moment when he started to believe the voices he'd been hearing in his head.
"like claiming "the cigarette lighter fell out and started a seat fire" could be the best defense for erratic driving..."
My dog has big teeth.
It hit me at a low level, like being ankle pecked by ducks.
He had a look like you'd expect on a constipated man.
Her hair blew in the breeze like spun cotton candy.
The remote control was so hard to understand, nobody would ever know when the thing stopped working.
A wooden clothes pin is the thumbtack to the past.
Did they tune the sound of a strike? Did they figure a way to make that hit on those pins to sound so fulfilling, like a brief orgasm?
I would like a job where they pay me to do this all day.
The vulture actually landed on his car's hood and its talons scratched right up. That's the moment when he started to believe the voices he'd been hearing in his head.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
LIGHTNING STRIKES1
Thursday the 13th we had rain. Rain has been rare here and last year we were in
mid-exceptional drought. That's the worst category. This year we are over the
running average but it hadn't rained in about 6 weeks, so the rain was welcome.
The lakes that feed Austin water are still up to 30 feet below their average
levels. Feet, yes.
Terri and I were standing in the kitchen, enjoying the sound of rain on the metal roof, and the break in a long string of sunny hot days. We hugged and as we had heard a few rumbles of thunder throughout the rain shower, I joked, "I'm taller, so I will get hit by lightning before you do." As we parted there was a flash and bang all at once. I didn't see the bolt but did see sparks fly outside the window. It didn't hit me, but something on the roof was zapped.
Immediately there was a loud hissing noise from somewhere in the house. I knew right away that we had been hit by lightning and that it was a direct hit. Since the house was hit and we were in the house it was like being within the explosion somehow. Was that hiss a propane leak? I headed for the noise : my powered computer speakers were blasting static. The computer was dead.
Terri's computer, plugged in in another part of the house was dead.
The upstairs air conditioning/heat controller was off. The upstairs AC wouldn't run.
The pool equipment also stopped. That controller was also dead.
We lost phone, Internet, and phone service via Time-Warner. My router was fried.
Insurance (Encompass) has been helpful. Their inspector saw no roof damage. Everything else will be handled by replacement value and receipts less the thousand dollar deductible. We brought in a computer repair guy who held brief ceremonies over the bodies of our fried computers. Over Terri's, he said it would cost more to fix than replace. Subsequently, we ordered one which is less powerful but should fill the bill. Mister Repair will be back to try to transfer all from her old hard drive to the new one from Newegg.
My computer was a custom build - my first. The replacement will be built by Tigerdirect and then Mister Repair will try to get data off my hard drive. One of the twin hard drives was dead. The other appears to be sick but he thinks he can get the data. Yes it had an expensive surge protector on it. No, it didn't save the day.
If you are a techie, my new one will be an i7 series 3 processor with 16 GB ram and two mirrored 1 TB hard discs. Mister Repair will be sure all is well. Some issues I must admit, I don't understand, especially getting info from one to the other... Those transfer cables never worked for me completely, which he verified.
We will hike through the weeds of permissions, serial numbers, drivers (many lost), etc. as we attempt to get them operational to the state they were once, or even better.
Meanwhile the days have stretched to very very long spans of time with nothing but my iPhone to use. Our iPads are wifi only and we await a new super whiz bang router as the former was fried too. This new one is said to have better speed and range, and it should, since it cost twice++ of the one I lost. Technology leap or false advertising?
Mister Repair says you can't trust some of the reviews on the more common review sites since they are "salted" with reviews from those who would benefit from them. Just what the world needs now: more mistrust.
I can't audition or record with no computer. Happily, my recording rig was unplugged as was my stereo. And some device appears to have saved the TV, TiVo, Receiver, BluRay, etc.
Time Warner came 5 days later to get us phone and tv. Internet would work if we had a router.*
As I write this to put onto my blog down the line when I can access it, I just found out the phone is out again.
The pool guy aka The Pool Doctor has been unable to repair the controller.
The ac guy did bring us back to an air conditioned upstairs. The transformer and controller was blown out. So was the deductible on our insurance.
Speaking with some neighbors I know that three of the houses I can see from here, one just across the street, have been hit by lightning in the last 8 years. One bolt started a fire as it hit a gas line under their punctured roof. Another blew out $60,000 worth of gear. And that house was hit a second time after the repairs. For another 60k!
Terri brought home a cold and now I have it. So I couldn't audition or work anyway.
I would have thought the addiction to computer would fade with time. It hasn't.
Our new computers have shipped and we will bring back the man who hopefully can rescue the data from the dead. If he succeeds we will build a chapel on the spot out of junk computers, a router, several control boards for air conditioning and pool equipment.
Sent from my iPad
* update: Mister Repair did get us up and running. He also had an argument with Time Warner's Mister Fixit as TW had wired the system improperly and the new modem was acting like a limited router. Mister repair came back to fix THAT too. The new router does go faster and farther than the old one. And man, is it ever encrypted!
We are up and running. I am powering through 1000 emails+ and wanted to get this, which I had written and stored on my iPad.
Terri and I were standing in the kitchen, enjoying the sound of rain on the metal roof, and the break in a long string of sunny hot days. We hugged and as we had heard a few rumbles of thunder throughout the rain shower, I joked, "I'm taller, so I will get hit by lightning before you do." As we parted there was a flash and bang all at once. I didn't see the bolt but did see sparks fly outside the window. It didn't hit me, but something on the roof was zapped.
Immediately there was a loud hissing noise from somewhere in the house. I knew right away that we had been hit by lightning and that it was a direct hit. Since the house was hit and we were in the house it was like being within the explosion somehow. Was that hiss a propane leak? I headed for the noise : my powered computer speakers were blasting static. The computer was dead.
Terri's computer, plugged in in another part of the house was dead.
The upstairs air conditioning/heat controller was off. The upstairs AC wouldn't run.
The pool equipment also stopped. That controller was also dead.
We lost phone, Internet, and phone service via Time-Warner. My router was fried.
Insurance (Encompass) has been helpful. Their inspector saw no roof damage. Everything else will be handled by replacement value and receipts less the thousand dollar deductible. We brought in a computer repair guy who held brief ceremonies over the bodies of our fried computers. Over Terri's, he said it would cost more to fix than replace. Subsequently, we ordered one which is less powerful but should fill the bill. Mister Repair will be back to try to transfer all from her old hard drive to the new one from Newegg.
My computer was a custom build - my first. The replacement will be built by Tigerdirect and then Mister Repair will try to get data off my hard drive. One of the twin hard drives was dead. The other appears to be sick but he thinks he can get the data. Yes it had an expensive surge protector on it. No, it didn't save the day.
If you are a techie, my new one will be an i7 series 3 processor with 16 GB ram and two mirrored 1 TB hard discs. Mister Repair will be sure all is well. Some issues I must admit, I don't understand, especially getting info from one to the other... Those transfer cables never worked for me completely, which he verified.
We will hike through the weeds of permissions, serial numbers, drivers (many lost), etc. as we attempt to get them operational to the state they were once, or even better.
Meanwhile the days have stretched to very very long spans of time with nothing but my iPhone to use. Our iPads are wifi only and we await a new super whiz bang router as the former was fried too. This new one is said to have better speed and range, and it should, since it cost twice++ of the one I lost. Technology leap or false advertising?
Mister Repair says you can't trust some of the reviews on the more common review sites since they are "salted" with reviews from those who would benefit from them. Just what the world needs now: more mistrust.
I can't audition or record with no computer. Happily, my recording rig was unplugged as was my stereo. And some device appears to have saved the TV, TiVo, Receiver, BluRay, etc.
Time Warner came 5 days later to get us phone and tv. Internet would work if we had a router.*
As I write this to put onto my blog down the line when I can access it, I just found out the phone is out again.
The pool guy aka The Pool Doctor has been unable to repair the controller.
The ac guy did bring us back to an air conditioned upstairs. The transformer and controller was blown out. So was the deductible on our insurance.
Speaking with some neighbors I know that three of the houses I can see from here, one just across the street, have been hit by lightning in the last 8 years. One bolt started a fire as it hit a gas line under their punctured roof. Another blew out $60,000 worth of gear. And that house was hit a second time after the repairs. For another 60k!
Terri brought home a cold and now I have it. So I couldn't audition or work anyway.
I would have thought the addiction to computer would fade with time. It hasn't.
Our new computers have shipped and we will bring back the man who hopefully can rescue the data from the dead. If he succeeds we will build a chapel on the spot out of junk computers, a router, several control boards for air conditioning and pool equipment.
Sent from my iPad
* update: Mister Repair did get us up and running. He also had an argument with Time Warner's Mister Fixit as TW had wired the system improperly and the new modem was acting like a limited router. Mister repair came back to fix THAT too. The new router does go faster and farther than the old one. And man, is it ever encrypted!
We are up and running. I am powering through 1000 emails+ and wanted to get this, which I had written and stored on my iPad.
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
976
This is number 976 blog posting on this blog. Some day I will go back and read from the beginning. As the song goes, "I was older then, I'm so much younger now."
Stuff happens: On Labor Day Chester swallowed the squeaker in a plush squeaky toy. Vet, vomit, done. BTW: Martha Stewart Plush Pets are stuffed with children's hair cut off while they cried.
Stuff 2: I backed my car into our wall in what you'd see is a parking area. UNLESS you try to see it all via the backup cam. No excuse. Should have paid more attention. It'll be a whole assembly replacement as there's holes in it now. Remember when bumpers were for bumping? Whatever happened to bumping? It's lost, that's what. Bumping was once part of who we are - or were - as drivers of America.
CHROME SWEET CHROME
I miss it.
I saw a Fisker. There's automotivation. It's like a swoopy Solstice had a baby with a Corvette. It looked wide and long, but I only got a quick look. I like the look of the new Lexii and still favor Audi for good looks and good everything else.
There are more trucks in Texas than in the whole country of Truckmanistan.
It's the 5th of September and the temperature is 96 in the shade. Not complaining, but I long for a good long rain and thunderstorm. Happily, Chester doesn't freak out at all over thunderclaps. I've been recording thunder (last storm about 2 months back) which is easy on the iPhone app I have as when you see the flash, roll record. Seldom is there no time to push the button to get the bang and on those times I find you record a lot of swearing. "#### that was ####ingCLOSE!"
Somehow Spotify snuck onto my computer. So far so good. (It creates music streams based on your opinion of songs it presents as it gets to know you.)
Stuff happens: On Labor Day Chester swallowed the squeaker in a plush squeaky toy. Vet, vomit, done. BTW: Martha Stewart Plush Pets are stuffed with children's hair cut off while they cried.
Stuff 2: I backed my car into our wall in what you'd see is a parking area. UNLESS you try to see it all via the backup cam. No excuse. Should have paid more attention. It'll be a whole assembly replacement as there's holes in it now. Remember when bumpers were for bumping? Whatever happened to bumping? It's lost, that's what. Bumping was once part of who we are - or were - as drivers of America.
CHROME SWEET CHROME
I miss it.
I saw a Fisker. There's automotivation. It's like a swoopy Solstice had a baby with a Corvette. It looked wide and long, but I only got a quick look. I like the look of the new Lexii and still favor Audi for good looks and good everything else.
There are more trucks in Texas than in the whole country of Truckmanistan.
It's the 5th of September and the temperature is 96 in the shade. Not complaining, but I long for a good long rain and thunderstorm. Happily, Chester doesn't freak out at all over thunderclaps. I've been recording thunder (last storm about 2 months back) which is easy on the iPhone app I have as when you see the flash, roll record. Seldom is there no time to push the button to get the bang and on those times I find you record a lot of swearing. "#### that was ####ingCLOSE!"
Somehow Spotify snuck onto my computer. So far so good. (It creates music streams based on your opinion of songs it presents as it gets to know you.)
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
WHAT I DO
I kind of flinch when someone asks what I do and the answer I give is voicework or voiceovers. I get the blank stare you'd give because they don't know what that is. Funny thing is, that definition changes. Sometimes it's acting by voice, sometimes it's announcing - seriously or friendly. Sometimes short little tags: "BLAMMO, The First Name in Lethal Ammunition." Or full commercials. Or narrations. Anything you can conceive is narrated these days by someone somewhere. Since everyone with a computer and internet and microphone is now also able to claim the term "voiceover," many don't sound good or have good enough SOUND. These wanna-bes will work almost for free. This has horribly devalued the rates over the years. Unless it's union (rare) the average spot would pay less than it did in 1978.
Often clients will ask for something they already know - clone Morgan Freeman and you'll make a ton, or Mike Rowe (Deadliest Catch), for Ford. Or a type... like... spoof this or imitate that. (This won't work well with bad copy.)
This leads me to this spoof of direct tv's latest campaign. I think the script was well written and paced as that's the key to this working. See and hear what you think. Click on this link below.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
DREAMS
I dreamt last night that I was having trouble sleeping. This is a
breakthrough! I have had the "I have to find the bathroom in this big place"
dream where I awake to find I have to go to the bathroom. I've had that "falling"
thing a few times when I was younger but not lately.
I wish I could control what happens in my dreams - but the unconscious, the brain's Drive In Theater, books its own shows nightly.
I know I dream in color sometimes or even all the time but I only notice once in a while where it makes sense in the story of that dream. A red car. That kind of thing.
I absolutely have had audio dreams which sounded completely real and I thought I was awake, but wasn't. Just this morning I swear I heard the doorbell. Only it wasn't. If I SAW something with the vividness of that doorbell sound, well, it'd be much much more vivid than the strength of my normal dreaming.
I fell asleep while doing homework in high school and found I had written "head engine room ok" in my notebook. I told some friends and they took opportunities to joke about it. Better than 'head engine room NOT ok,' I think.
I have tried to force dreams by trying to stay awake and focused on a scenario but it doesn't work.
I went to a place to study out of body travel (of the spirit, I guess). Whatever that ride is like, I am sorry to say I haven't any personal experience, but think it'd be really cool!
I wish I could control what happens in my dreams - but the unconscious, the brain's Drive In Theater, books its own shows nightly.
I know I dream in color sometimes or even all the time but I only notice once in a while where it makes sense in the story of that dream. A red car. That kind of thing.
I absolutely have had audio dreams which sounded completely real and I thought I was awake, but wasn't. Just this morning I swear I heard the doorbell. Only it wasn't. If I SAW something with the vividness of that doorbell sound, well, it'd be much much more vivid than the strength of my normal dreaming.
I fell asleep while doing homework in high school and found I had written "head engine room ok" in my notebook. I told some friends and they took opportunities to joke about it. Better than 'head engine room NOT ok,' I think.
I have tried to force dreams by trying to stay awake and focused on a scenario but it doesn't work.
I went to a place to study out of body travel (of the spirit, I guess). Whatever that ride is like, I am sorry to say I haven't any personal experience, but think it'd be really cool!
Thursday, August 02, 2012
THE AMAZING GROWING DOG
You feed him kibble and water and he grows. It's like Ghia Pet!
While a tiny pup Chester was so cute. Now I have to look for photo ops to try to capture his 5-month-old look. He's still cute, but maybe doggily related to awkward teen (in dog years he should be 3 and a half, but you get the idea.)
He's been in the pool several times. We even took him to the local dog park and he ran around in 96 degree heat while we watched and sweated. Too hot, I think, but when it cools, we'll be back!
I awake at 6AM and feed him, then we go for the morning walk before it heats up. We both enjoy the cool before the sun comes up, the sunrise show, birds, and rabbits everywhere. Sadly, there was a dead one on the side of the road, and I had to distract Chester from this yummy reminder of mortality.
While a tiny pup Chester was so cute. Now I have to look for photo ops to try to capture his 5-month-old look. He's still cute, but maybe doggily related to awkward teen (in dog years he should be 3 and a half, but you get the idea.)
He's been in the pool several times. We even took him to the local dog park and he ran around in 96 degree heat while we watched and sweated. Too hot, I think, but when it cools, we'll be back!
HAPPILY AFTER EVER
It's time for an update. Today's so slow I fixed my nose/earhair trimmer.
But what's wrong with slow? Well, other than in the Olympics...
Most recently I am on the T and V on a spot in the NW. Portland and all that. It's for a credit union. I am the voice that speaks off camera (mercifully) as my grown daughter dances at her wedding and I reminisce before I remind anyone in their emotional peak about the credit union. Hey. I can post it.
I guess that's "me" dancing with "my little girl." Or she married an older guy. Is he old enough to be her father?
A very nice piece, producers. Thanks for the work! (They hired me off an audition and used the audition.) Recorded right here. That always blows my mind. Another relatively recent sponsor VO I did was on SIRIUS/XM, beaming from space... and recorded down the hall.)
But what's wrong with slow? Well, other than in the Olympics...
Most recently I am on the T and V on a spot in the NW. Portland and all that. It's for a credit union. I am the voice that speaks off camera (mercifully) as my grown daughter dances at her wedding and I reminisce before I remind anyone in their emotional peak about the credit union. Hey. I can post it.
A very nice piece, producers. Thanks for the work! (They hired me off an audition and used the audition.) Recorded right here. That always blows my mind. Another relatively recent sponsor VO I did was on SIRIUS/XM, beaming from space... and recorded down the hall.)
Saturday, July 21, 2012
I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!
My name is Bob. (Hello Bob)
I am an ice cream-junkie. Mine is the addiction that consumes half-gallons in record time.
I can stop. It's easiest to stop when the half-gallon is empty. I make promises to myself. No more. Give it a rest. Time out.
But then... it HAS been hot and I just crave something cold and sweet. I concoct some rationalization that I DESERVE ice cream.
And so, having lived all over, having eaten ice cream all over, and having a passion for the subject, here is my ice cream breakdown. Ice cream is basically several elements mixed in various combinations: sweetness, creaminess, airiness, and strength of flavor.
Sweetness.
This is the jolt of sweet you get. It can lean sugary or syrupy. I can't remember the name of the company, but in Buffalo you could get this WONDERFUL sweet ice cream. Very sugary and a great combination of everything else. Less creamy than the creamiest, which is good, because you don't want a fight to break out between a snap of sweetness and creaminess.
Creaminess.
You'd expect creamy to equate with cream a la cow, but it is more. Emulsifiers or other chemical treats can make things froth, and have the touch of creamy, but it ain't.
It's better when the creaminess is bovine.
The difference between custard and ice cream is because custard has more butter fat, which is like cream, but is a part of cream.
Airiness.
More air = less weight = less stuff = more profit. Really ruins the taste. Haagen Dazs, for example, is dense, probably at one end of the scale of dense to light 'n' airy. Store brands seem to tend to airy. I think it's the mark of cheapness. More air, less cow.
Suddenly, it's ice MILK as the butter fat drops and there seems to be a watery consistency.
Strength of Flavor.
Blue Bell, here in Austin, is made just down the road in Brenham, is world class to my taste, and slightly muted in flavor. That can tease you into having seconds and even thirds because it's not as an extreme sensation as it'd be if the flavor was more amped up. Baskin-Robbins is stronger. I think Blue Bell is very close to as good as it gets.
I once had home-made pepper ice cream. A dry dry moisture content complimented the peppery overlay perfectly. The moisture approached Gelato, but dry. Maybe it was colder.
Various brands vary in their flavor strength. Baskin Robbins is stronger than Blue Bell.
I like ice cream hard, but then I let it melt and eat the melt first.
I am addicted. (Hello Bob)
About nuts.
Nuts are not ice cream. They take up space that could be ice cream. Put em on if you like at home, but leave nuts, marshmallows, ball bearings, marbles and bbs out of ice cream you are selling me.
I am an ice cream-junkie. Mine is the addiction that consumes half-gallons in record time.
I can stop. It's easiest to stop when the half-gallon is empty. I make promises to myself. No more. Give it a rest. Time out.
But then... it HAS been hot and I just crave something cold and sweet. I concoct some rationalization that I DESERVE ice cream.
And so, having lived all over, having eaten ice cream all over, and having a passion for the subject, here is my ice cream breakdown. Ice cream is basically several elements mixed in various combinations: sweetness, creaminess, airiness, and strength of flavor.
Sweetness.
This is the jolt of sweet you get. It can lean sugary or syrupy. I can't remember the name of the company, but in Buffalo you could get this WONDERFUL sweet ice cream. Very sugary and a great combination of everything else. Less creamy than the creamiest, which is good, because you don't want a fight to break out between a snap of sweetness and creaminess.
Creaminess.
You'd expect creamy to equate with cream a la cow, but it is more. Emulsifiers or other chemical treats can make things froth, and have the touch of creamy, but it ain't.
It's better when the creaminess is bovine.
The difference between custard and ice cream is because custard has more butter fat, which is like cream, but is a part of cream.
Airiness.
More air = less weight = less stuff = more profit. Really ruins the taste. Haagen Dazs, for example, is dense, probably at one end of the scale of dense to light 'n' airy. Store brands seem to tend to airy. I think it's the mark of cheapness. More air, less cow.
Suddenly, it's ice MILK as the butter fat drops and there seems to be a watery consistency.
Strength of Flavor.
Blue Bell, here in Austin, is made just down the road in Brenham, is world class to my taste, and slightly muted in flavor. That can tease you into having seconds and even thirds because it's not as an extreme sensation as it'd be if the flavor was more amped up. Baskin-Robbins is stronger. I think Blue Bell is very close to as good as it gets.
I once had home-made pepper ice cream. A dry dry moisture content complimented the peppery overlay perfectly. The moisture approached Gelato, but dry. Maybe it was colder.
Various brands vary in their flavor strength. Baskin Robbins is stronger than Blue Bell.
I like ice cream hard, but then I let it melt and eat the melt first.
I am addicted. (Hello Bob)
About nuts.
Nuts are not ice cream. They take up space that could be ice cream. Put em on if you like at home, but leave nuts, marshmallows, ball bearings, marbles and bbs out of ice cream you are selling me.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
RIGHT THIS WRONG WITH ME
I am writing this one to encourage resolution to an injustice. I welcome your support. For too long this situation has persisted, and those who would benefit most are unable to help themselves in this matter, are denied the ability to rally public sentiment, or even speak on their own behalf.
I am taking this up on behalf of dogs everywhere - our loyal, loving, four-footed friends. They can't use facebook - they can't twitter - they can't get the local paper to do a canine-interest story. You might never know their deprivation as they sit quietly licking themselves, or chewing on your shoe.
Why is there catnip but not dognip?
Give tabby a snort of the mouse-filled-with-nip and there's immediate gratification: much more so than even when Bubba has a good chaw 'n' spitcup going at a NASCAR event! The cat practically floats into the air, bounces off walls, happily nuts. But there is no alternative for dogs. It's unfair.
And while the DEA may indeed expand the War on Drugs to include catnip as a gateway drug, our little Chester or your little Spot has little but rabbit turds to elevate his mood.
I would like to invite you to join me in a new organization - we'll call it AARF. Let's bring a smile to man's best friend! Donations are encouraged.
And while I am thinking about things, if cash-strapped NASA would join forces with our most popular spectator sport and become NASACAR, well, the synergies would be an immediate win-win. I foresee a 2 second quarter mile run in the very near future.
Two people recently mentioned to me they enjoy my blog. To them and you I say a big MERCI!
I am taking this up on behalf of dogs everywhere - our loyal, loving, four-footed friends. They can't use facebook - they can't twitter - they can't get the local paper to do a canine-interest story. You might never know their deprivation as they sit quietly licking themselves, or chewing on your shoe.
Why is there catnip but not dognip?
Give tabby a snort of the mouse-filled-with-nip and there's immediate gratification: much more so than even when Bubba has a good chaw 'n' spitcup going at a NASCAR event! The cat practically floats into the air, bounces off walls, happily nuts. But there is no alternative for dogs. It's unfair.
And while the DEA may indeed expand the War on Drugs to include catnip as a gateway drug, our little Chester or your little Spot has little but rabbit turds to elevate his mood.
I would like to invite you to join me in a new organization - we'll call it AARF. Let's bring a smile to man's best friend! Donations are encouraged.
--
And while I am thinking about things, if cash-strapped NASA would join forces with our most popular spectator sport and become NASACAR, well, the synergies would be an immediate win-win. I foresee a 2 second quarter mile run in the very near future.
--
Two people recently mentioned to me they enjoy my blog. To them and you I say a big MERCI!
Sunday, July 01, 2012
DOG DON'T
I walk Chester every morning and evening. Today, at about 6:45AM, we were on a nice quiet stretch of neighborhood road. It's so quiet back there, with good distance sightlines, that I can see no car is coming, so I will sometimes let Chester run. He's really good at coming when called.
Unless.
Unless someone has thoughtfully plastic-bagged and tied another dogs's deposit then left it on the grass where Chester's super nose can smell it and it will call to him.
He grabs the bag and before I can yell "come" it is gone. GONE.
I walk up to him and wave a piece of pork - a special treat I carry in a treat bag ($8.95 at Petsmart.)
He isn't moving. I discover he has the whole bag and contents, in his mouth with nothing hanging over the teeth. I command him to "Drop It." He looks back at me with a shit-eating stare.
I take action. I pry Chester's mouth open and reach in and retrieve the baggie. Perhaps his needle-like teeth have punctured the bag - I don't do an exam - I throw it away.
Grossed out.
Unless.
Unless someone has thoughtfully plastic-bagged and tied another dogs's deposit then left it on the grass where Chester's super nose can smell it and it will call to him.
He grabs the bag and before I can yell "come" it is gone. GONE.
I walk up to him and wave a piece of pork - a special treat I carry in a treat bag ($8.95 at Petsmart.)
He isn't moving. I discover he has the whole bag and contents, in his mouth with nothing hanging over the teeth. I command him to "Drop It." He looks back at me with a shit-eating stare.
I take action. I pry Chester's mouth open and reach in and retrieve the baggie. Perhaps his needle-like teeth have punctured the bag - I don't do an exam - I throw it away.
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
A SOBERING STAT
Have you ever counted how many people you've known in your life who are now passed? It's that one ride we all take - hopefully to something more and better...
And the older you get, the higher the number.
I remember the first - Jerry Sullivan - they announced his death at mass... he was a grade school chum who had been shot and killed in Viet Nam. I remember him as a cheerful boy.
One Christmas we got the usual card, not from Jim Brown, a former high school buddy, but from his wife, with details on his passing (in his 40s, as I recall.) He was blessed with a genius IQ and many other outstanding abilities. We had only been in touch via Christmas card over the years.
The years do separate us, as did my radio journey across the US and Canada.
My old college business partner Art Constantine was killed on his motorcycle as was his wife, and his brother Robbie died many years before from a botched hospital stay.
Not including family, I count 11.
And the older you get, the higher the number.
I remember the first - Jerry Sullivan - they announced his death at mass... he was a grade school chum who had been shot and killed in Viet Nam. I remember him as a cheerful boy.
One Christmas we got the usual card, not from Jim Brown, a former high school buddy, but from his wife, with details on his passing (in his 40s, as I recall.) He was blessed with a genius IQ and many other outstanding abilities. We had only been in touch via Christmas card over the years.
The years do separate us, as did my radio journey across the US and Canada.
My old college business partner Art Constantine was killed on his motorcycle as was his wife, and his brother Robbie died many years before from a botched hospital stay.
Not including family, I count 11.
iLOVE
Ordered the latest IPad. Terri can then have my IPad2. It'll be interesting to see if I note much difference. The IPad is a game changer. Good as that is, though, I can't quite believe how much I like my IPhone 4s. I love the thing. It makes me look back at the Blackberry with a sneer. I have all sorts of apps which work very well... love the camera in that phone, and it'll be cool to see those pictures on the IPad '3' to see if they look even better as the new display is better.
Here it comes.
Here it comes.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
TRAPPED IN PLASTIC
It seems that after 7 years, a new house will need work. Ours is 7.5 years old in June. As I write this, sheets of plastic hang from the ceiling and doorways to keep in the white dust and scrapings as we are having some ceiling work done where the mastic? tape has separated, leaving cracks in the paint on top of it..
It also seems that 7 years in the attic turns a sealed ceiling paint can into a brick. Happily, the label was still legible and I visited Sherwin Williams to get a replacement.
Can you imagine what a little 13 week old puppy would do if he saw that hanging plastic? I can. He won't.
It also seems that 7 years in the attic turns a sealed ceiling paint can into a brick. Happily, the label was still legible and I visited Sherwin Williams to get a replacement.
Can you imagine what a little 13 week old puppy would do if he saw that hanging plastic? I can. He won't.
Monday, May 14, 2012
CHARISMA?
Our dog is a rock star! People driving by when we walk stop to see him. People in Petsmart go nuts - it seems like everybody wants to pet him or hold him. I don't know if it's puppyhood or being a Golden Retriever pup or what, but the dog has something going.
I saw it once before. When I worked in Montreal, there was a sales guy I became friendly with - Louis Pasquin. Louie in the mid 70s looked like Robert Redford at his good-looking-est. Louie and I would go eat lunch together and the noisy restaurant/s would noticeably get quiet when we walked in. Sadly, I know it wasn't MY appeal. Louie was a rock star. Women just melted. Call it charisma or just exceptional good looks, but there was something happening - something foreign to my world. (an aside: Louie was a kind heart too. I am sorry we've lost touch as the winds of broadcasting blew me away.)
Come to think of it, I saw it in Pittsburgh, too. Crowded bar. Sexy secretary (from the radio station) had gone to the ladies room. Someone had come over to talk to me and I said - you won't believe this, but there's a woman in the rest room and when she comes out, the room is going to react. This was met with disbelief. Then she came out. And the noise level went immediately way down as she was being checked out. A friend once spotted her ACROSS the stadium at 3 Rivers! She had something magnetic.
Back to Chester. He's growing like a weed. It will be interesting to see if he outgrows this attention.
That's Hedgehog's butt, by the way.
I saw it once before. When I worked in Montreal, there was a sales guy I became friendly with - Louis Pasquin. Louie in the mid 70s looked like Robert Redford at his good-looking-est. Louie and I would go eat lunch together and the noisy restaurant/s would noticeably get quiet when we walked in. Sadly, I know it wasn't MY appeal. Louie was a rock star. Women just melted. Call it charisma or just exceptional good looks, but there was something happening - something foreign to my world. (an aside: Louie was a kind heart too. I am sorry we've lost touch as the winds of broadcasting blew me away.)
Come to think of it, I saw it in Pittsburgh, too. Crowded bar. Sexy secretary (from the radio station) had gone to the ladies room. Someone had come over to talk to me and I said - you won't believe this, but there's a woman in the rest room and when she comes out, the room is going to react. This was met with disbelief. Then she came out. And the noise level went immediately way down as she was being checked out. A friend once spotted her ACROSS the stadium at 3 Rivers! She had something magnetic.
Back to Chester. He's growing like a weed. It will be interesting to see if he outgrows this attention.
That's Hedgehog's butt, by the way.
Friday, May 04, 2012
DUMB IN PETSMART
...so I go into Petsmart to get some toys for the new pup. And I figure I need a plush thing and a squeaky and a bone. I pick up a maybe 5 inch long bone and proceed to the counter. The place is crowded. A line forms just like that behind me. I happen to notice - the bone is $27.95. Huh? Naaa. Yes! I bought my pup a hunk of elk horn. I was too embarrased to take it back. They're probably roadside in Wyoming, antlers everywhere. $27.95 The pup says it's as good as a bone.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
DOGANGEL OR DOGDEVIL
How can something so cute and wonderful turn into a monster just like that? Not that the change is on purpose - it's instinct or hormones or that leaf or that electric cord or that tempting rabbit turd. Yes, our little Chester is "willful." Somehow I think this is karma coming back in a feedback loop to me. Of course, our pup is only 8 weeks and some days old, so hopefully at some point he'll actually want to be on a leash, stop eating carpet and turn into the doggie love machine we hope for.
Last night, on duty for the 2AM trip outside, I found the widdle boy had launched diarrhea in and out of his crate and after doing the potty encouragement visit outside (a beautiful night, btw), I then proceeded to clean it all up. Walking through the house in the dark I managed to accidentally kick a wall with the foot on which my big toe was effectively sewn back on a few years back. It still acts up. Yowtch!
But then you get a hug and all is good.
Last night, on duty for the 2AM trip outside, I found the widdle boy had launched diarrhea in and out of his crate and after doing the potty encouragement visit outside (a beautiful night, btw), I then proceeded to clean it all up. Walking through the house in the dark I managed to accidentally kick a wall with the foot on which my big toe was effectively sewn back on a few years back. It still acts up. Yowtch!
But then you get a hug and all is good.
Here he is in the crate, dreaming of rabbit turds.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
CAMERA CAMERA
Thailand floods delayed the production of the SONY NEX 7 camera, likely to replace my Olympus E 620, which I will then sell. Ironically, originally I had planned to await the update to the Canon 5D, which is now released at a MK III version with all the bells and whistles I originally wanted. It retails for about 3x the Sony. It's probably superior. But is so pricey! And large. I had hoped to get away from the large form DSLRS due to the size when travelling. At about $5000 with lens, I think I'll pass on the Canon, but with reverence.
Friday, April 06, 2012
DOS BRISAS
Last Sunday and Monday we traveled to the Inn at Dos Brisas, which translates to the Inn at two Brisas. It's secluded, about 2 hours and change from here. It seemed like another geography, with more lushness and even a different color palette of green. Limited guests, 5 star re$taurant - you can rent one of several houses or four one room deals. They give you a golf cart for roaming the 300+ acre spread. We roamed. Horses, or Hosses as I like to say, were in various corrals and pastures. One had Opossum Sickness whereby it ate some grass that an opossum had 'gone' on, and "wasn't right in the head." It was trying to open the gate of its enclosure to escape the asylum, kind of like Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.
We had a nice time in the peace being away from the usual.
Note from the road: we saw a wild turtle on the road
Note from the road: from 60mph to 30mph. Speed trap?
Note from the road: noisy gravel
On Monday morning we had signed up for shotgun lesson. The 20 gauge kickback/recoil really hurt after a while. I didn't master it. Man it hurt. I am a delicate boy. Then I asked if I could try from the hip. Didn't take long to hit that clay! I quit immediately, while the state champion 'guide' was a-thinking, "that was luck, right?" All I can say is it'd be fun from the hip, but would take a lot of ammo to become proficient. And I was really surprised how hot the rifle got. Quickly, too.
We had a nice time in the peace being away from the usual.
Note from the road: we saw a wild turtle on the road
Note from the road: from 60mph to 30mph. Speed trap?
Note from the road: noisy gravel
On Monday morning we had signed up for shotgun lesson. The 20 gauge kickback/recoil really hurt after a while. I didn't master it. Man it hurt. I am a delicate boy. Then I asked if I could try from the hip. Didn't take long to hit that clay! I quit immediately, while the state champion 'guide' was a-thinking, "that was luck, right?" All I can say is it'd be fun from the hip, but would take a lot of ammo to become proficient. And I was really surprised how hot the rifle got. Quickly, too.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
WHY I DON'T SPARK
I await the arrival of the electrician. We have a list of items which need attention. There are several which seem beyond what I could do myself and another several I could do, but know deep in my heart I should not.
I was the child who once plugged in tweezers.
Some of the work involves going up a ladder, the base of which, due to blockages, will have a wide wide span or an uneven surface. I can hold it for him but Terri couldn't bring enough heft for me. And besides, my nature to GET IT DONE might have me off balance easily. My pride suffers a little but I'd like to stay relatively intact. I can imagine putting a slipping ladder through a window while I ride it down into cactii or a broken leg.
How hard to rewire a switch? Three wires, color coded... of COURSE I could do that. But as long as he's here working on other stuff...
And it turns out that of 4 new halogen outside lights, only one worked. I zoom back to LOWES while he's here on the clock. Before I left the store I actually tested each bulb THIS time. They couldn't figure out how to test, believe it or not. I then went to the lamp/lighting display and simply unscrewed a bulb which was lit and tested the new ones one-by-one.
Do you ever start out a small project solo only to discover that you need a special tool, or maybe an adaptor, or that your fix causes more trouble than the original problem? That wouldd be a snapshot of some of my fixes.
I was the child who once plugged in tweezers.
Some of the work involves going up a ladder, the base of which, due to blockages, will have a wide wide span or an uneven surface. I can hold it for him but Terri couldn't bring enough heft for me. And besides, my nature to GET IT DONE might have me off balance easily. My pride suffers a little but I'd like to stay relatively intact. I can imagine putting a slipping ladder through a window while I ride it down into cactii or a broken leg.
How hard to rewire a switch? Three wires, color coded... of COURSE I could do that. But as long as he's here working on other stuff...
And it turns out that of 4 new halogen outside lights, only one worked. I zoom back to LOWES while he's here on the clock. Before I left the store I actually tested each bulb THIS time. They couldn't figure out how to test, believe it or not. I then went to the lamp/lighting display and simply unscrewed a bulb which was lit and tested the new ones one-by-one.
Do you ever start out a small project solo only to discover that you need a special tool, or maybe an adaptor, or that your fix causes more trouble than the original problem? That wouldd be a snapshot of some of my fixes.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
JESSIE
She was an all black Cocker Spaniel pup when we first met in Lonsdale, Minnesota. She came running with her pack of brothers and sisters and seemed to be the one most unafraid of human touch - she was all over me.
There are so many memories cascading into my mind as our good sweet dog Jessie was put to sleep yesterday afternoon. She was 15 years 1 month 10 days old. The last weeks seemed to bring a breathing struggle. Some time ago, was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and/or lung cancer. At the vet she entered nicely in her sweet way. Even in the exam room she was calm, and her breathing difficulty seemed slowed in rhythm. Terri says she knew. I think she was in discomfort and wanted us to help make it stop. She was losing strength quickly. Never a good eater, she was still picky as we tried to make her last meals the best. She was down to 15 from 22 pounds at her peak. Skin and bones and fur. And sweetness.
She will be missed.
Monday, January 30, 2012
"STRANGE SOUNDS"
Google it on YouTube and then listen.
I have no clue.
But it does seem that something is up. I suspected a hoax, but it's pretty darn worldwide. Normal sound diminishes at the square of the distance to the source. This doesn't seem to. One popular theory is it's HAARP (Google this.) Another is its the shifting of the earth's magnetic core (how this makes noise eludes me.)
Some think it's a religious thing.
Your theories are welcome.
I have no clue.
But it does seem that something is up. I suspected a hoax, but it's pretty darn worldwide. Normal sound diminishes at the square of the distance to the source. This doesn't seem to. One popular theory is it's HAARP (Google this.) Another is its the shifting of the earth's magnetic core (how this makes noise eludes me.)
Some think it's a religious thing.
Your theories are welcome.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
JANUARY RANDOMNESS
I feel the Christmas letter posting below was a failure. Or it stank. Or was too long. Versus the number of comments I used to get to the printed version, this idea was a bust. Maybe people are just too busy to click a link and read, I don't know. I got some response, but not what I am used to. Unsure what to do next year.
Show off! Show ON.
I was listening to myself from 40 years ago yesterday. Someone had posted something on Facebook which reminded me that airchecks from my days as a disc jockey are still online. Listening back to this raw kid on the radio in Pittsburgh - then a top 10 market - with what I know NOW about how to entertain and do great radio, the best opinion I can muster is: "interesting." Whatever it was, it WAS NOT the sterile crap that airs on many stations today. That's somewhat in part due to cost-cutting measures where a person on-air in today's radio can dial up the future in the computer, and drop what he's going to say where it fits. There's no SHARED experience. That is, the person you hear didn't just hear what you heard. How's that cut costs? Because the person you hear is doing this for multiple stations in several cities, reducing staff. And payroll. An example: a show that would have paid $35,000/yr now pays about $5,000 to the "voice-tracker.".
THE SECRET
If you listen to a radio station with a "call-in to win" contest, you stand a much better chance by using your cell phone to make the call.
Show off! Show ON.
I was listening to myself from 40 years ago yesterday. Someone had posted something on Facebook which reminded me that airchecks from my days as a disc jockey are still online. Listening back to this raw kid on the radio in Pittsburgh - then a top 10 market - with what I know NOW about how to entertain and do great radio, the best opinion I can muster is: "interesting." Whatever it was, it WAS NOT the sterile crap that airs on many stations today. That's somewhat in part due to cost-cutting measures where a person on-air in today's radio can dial up the future in the computer, and drop what he's going to say where it fits. There's no SHARED experience. That is, the person you hear didn't just hear what you heard. How's that cut costs? Because the person you hear is doing this for multiple stations in several cities, reducing staff. And payroll. An example: a show that would have paid $35,000/yr now pays about $5,000 to the "voice-tracker.".
THE SECRET
If you listen to a radio station with a "call-in to win" contest, you stand a much better chance by using your cell phone to make the call.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
CHRISTMAS 2011
 |
| The Truth about Christmas |
We decided not to send out Christmas cards this year, and instead, I will give the $$$ to charity (water.org) If everyone did this in the USA, we'd put, say, $10,000,000,000 into 'doing good.' (that's billion with a B, based on 100 cards at $.50ish, postage at $.45ish, and 100 million people not sending greeting cards.) Think of the good we could do. Great ideas start small.
But wait! As politicos quickly respond to any idea at all, jobs will be lost. And yes, jobs will be lost. Big Joey, the guy who stands over the steaming fumes at the vat of to-be-cards’ recycled paper, stirring the slurry of bleach and acid, will be gone. The doc who treats him for his lung condition will have one less patient. Frank, who oils the rollers that squeeze the last drops of old ink from the paper paste, he'll be gone too. Little Sally, his daughter, won't get the Little Buckaroo Pony Cardboard Corral she asked Santa to bring because dad will have fallen on hard times. She’ll still have to walk to school in her bark flip-flops. At the glitter factory, Bruce, the formerly-jovial manager, will call for a staff meeting. He'll shut down the big machines which turn old car sheet metal into glitter to help angels find their way through the Christmas clouds on so many cards, then to serve as reminders of fond greetings in carpets for months after the holidays. Hallmark will shut down its Christmas Card line; some workers will be moved to Sympathy, some to Graduation, some to Birthday, but, sadly, some artists, envelope glue inspectors, and folder-operators will be cast out into the harsh reality of Missouri. They'll hold onto their old beater SUVs a little longer, guzzling more gas through low efficiency, increasing demand, and raising prices at the pump for the rest of us.
And the postal service is already so deep in debt!
There are so many implications. The mind boggles. Plus, it's a dilemma – how to let those who don't get a Christmas card from us this year know that this Christmas "letter" – sort of a semi-popular tradition – is alive on the blog here?
We simply feel the almost-obligatory Christmas Card assembly line is too impersonal and only good for about 5 seconds of yearly contact, when we wish there could be a deeper connection. Having worked all over North America, not to mention the good work of the witness relocation program, there are trails of friends who, sadly, we don't ever see.
Heck, you don't even get to lick a stamp anymore.
Heck, you don't even get to lick a stamp anymore.
Before their passing, the Mayans’ calendar implies that next year will be the last one anyway, so maybe we will only miss one yearly card, i.e.: 2011. The end of the world is scheduled for BEFORE Christmas 2012, and just before my birthday on the 23rd. (Screwed again!) They apparently misplaced the asterisk signifying the end of their civilization but thoughtfully included their End Of The World Calendar *for the rest of us. *Like festivus.
Allow me to jump around in time as you read, since this piece is written in streams of consciousness over a span of months. At this point, I have just missed the nationwide emergency message test. I wanted to spin the dial to hear what was happening but I forgot – by only 8 minutes. Apparently some stations got Lady Gaga instead of the "tuck your butt" warning. Having worked in the biz, as they say, I can understand this. I also wanted to hear which stations had sold advertising into or out of the scary message. Pest or plague control services would be a natural, for one. Hearing Aids, for another.
This year, the administration has imposed a 15 cent or 15% (earliest reports vary) tax on Christmas trees. An image-management stupidity! And why is there an election next year if the world is ending? Shouldn't we all be running up massive debt we won’t ever repay? Oh, wait, that's happening.
Today is November 9th. Last evening, the big aircraft-carrier-sized meteor missed us. Today astronomers are going naa-naa-naa na naaaa naa! If the threat was real, Bruce Willis would have saved us. I just know it. Ronald Reagan ripped the fabric which held Hollywood and Real Life apart. Forever.
I whole-heartedly recommend the Steve Jobs biography. He was clearly a simultaneous asshole/jerk/genius. Quite a spectrum on that man. I read the book on the IPad2, which was really haunting. If they had made Siri (the voice assist on IPhone 4s) speak in his voice, it'd be REALLY spooky. So far Siri has mostly told me it can't connect to the network. Actually, Siri's gender wasn't assigned. Sounds like a female to me, but then you can't be sure. *Note: a guy on the interwebs says he was recorded for what became Siri, in 1996. Could be. You can’t tell.
Another big endorsement: Stephen King's 11/22/63 – a long yet extremely worthwhile read!
We live pretty much at the edge of a preserve, which explains the fruity goodness. No, that's not it. There's a conservation area as our view. We actually have heard coyotes and do have road runners. We don't hear cartoon sound effects. Out loud anyway. Only sometimes in my head… We also can hear the big cats at the rescue zoo a few miles upwind. We are weed farmers. Clearly we don't fit in with those who have manicured their expansive lawns, making it more user-friendly for the weeds to surely come. This development called Spanish Oaks was supposed to be 'natural', but then the rules changed and McHaciendas, McLexuses and McBMWs invaded. I believe we were the 12th or 14th occupied home (of eventually 400… about 150 built so far.) We were early settlers. Wish we still had that buckboard. I don't miss the gingham.
We had a cold snap the other day - the temperature actually went below freezing. Cover the spigots! Uh oh - our spigot covers are missing. True Texan ingenuity:
We had a cold snap the other day - the temperature actually went below freezing. Cover the spigots! Uh oh - our spigot covers are missing. True Texan ingenuity:
I believe there are two things you should never write about in a Christmas letter: religion and politics. There's simply too much room to offend.
You HAVE been watching all the Republican Presidential Debates* haven't you? (*Not to be confused with the Mecum Auto Auction!) So here are some thoughts to hang on your newly taxed Christmas tree. BTW: The economy is so bad, Pine Tree Car Air Fresheners are being used as Christmas trees in homes around the U.S. of A.
I am amused by and interested in the debates. After so many years in radio, trying to persuade hundreds of thousands of listeners to listen and like us, I see much of the world as a giant radio style "promotion" full of hype and bombasity. (Not to be confused by radio promotions which are pure and as genuine as the 8th caller.) Note that some of the contenders might have dropped out by the time I publish this, but that won't stop me, so sirree.
At this stage of the game – late November - there are still many players. And why not start with our own Governor Perry? He's a very personable guy with stigmata: bad college grades. They say he got a D in “meat” at Texas A&M. But I think he'd be a fun guy to hang out with. He'd be the one to get the guys together to put a Volkswagon beetle at the top of the stairs of the admin building. He shot a coyote while out jogging. Where do you put your pistol in a track suit? Well, never mind that – he was attacked. ANYBODY can make an oops, too. Nice hair. A few years back, the Governor’s Mansion was set ablaze by some ne’er-do-well. The guards missed it.
Rick Santorum has that bad latin-verb last name. Plus it sounds like a tuberculosis hospital-um. He's from my home state, Pennsylvania, but I think he's soon to be in the parking lot with the crowd of Clear Channel employees recently let go. To me he always looks slightly embarrassed. If they put his podium any farther to the wing, he'd be behind the curtain.
Newt. What a name. Isn't he on the endangered species list? I don't know much about newts, but looking at him, I wonder if he can puff up his wattle and do a good croak. But make no mistake, he's smart. He’ll say! Reminds me of our high school English teacher who introduced himself to our class by declaring we had a "plethora of dearth." Newt has to be careful, though, or he might cut himself on his wife's hair. When he speaks he sounds like a trumpet with a mute in it. He’s made about $100 million dollars since his bout of unpopularity back in the 90s. While barking or croaking or whatever at Bill Clinton for immoral behavior, Newt was cheating on his second wife.
Michelle Bachman. She's raised about a hundred kids in a wooden shoe, so apparently they had a refrigerator just for milk. From Lake Woebegon, Minnesota. Seemed batty at first, but that could have been the Palin effect, kind of an aurora. I think she should have changed her name to Marge before declaring, though.
Ron Paul. I LIKE him. He's seems so wacky. He's Fred McMurray in the movie Flubber. I also suspect he's right about a lot, and his Mister Deeds-isms makes me like the guy. If only ANY of these candidates could even come close to accomplishing what they throw around the stump! Has there ever been a president with two first names? Sounds like a young Andy Rooney.
Huntsman. A name right out of the Cabela's catalog! Who needs a first name? The guy has serious experience. Speaks fluent Chinese. And is a Mormon. One wife though. Second to Perry for hair. His podium has been so far away from the action, you have to feel for the guy. Well, he at least can leave early and beat the crowd to the parking lot.
Mitt* Romney. (*Misspelled German for "with Romney.") They accuse him of flip flopping, but to be the former governor of Mass as a Mormon – you'd expect a Catholic, so that confuses everything right there. He's been married since he was 8. He dresses well. He made a ton of money. That much money is heavy. That's why they call it a ton. Mitt reminds me of a guy I used to work for – good looking, "buttoned down" – and I loved it when Mitt scolded Rick Perry. And he did it without appearing too condescending. He's likely to be a front runner (no I am not rewriting much of this as history unwinds, and pages fall off the calendar like in an old movie) but politic running is hard to predict, like knowing WHICH Ethiopian will win a marathon.
November 21 – there's a warm wind blowing today – hard at times, from the south, a comforting hug as it blows through the oaks. This is the kind of day that makes me real pleased we chose these here parts a.k.a. Austin. We had a little rain the other day (still in extreme drought) but just like prayer feeds hope, our weeds have greened up, teased by the rain and by globally warmed late November sun, courtesy of Chinese construction, Indian Industry, cow flatulence, and factories in Akron, Ohio. Rick Perry hasn't bought into Global Warming. He thinks science should be another of a state's rights.
I recently had an amazement as Terri's new assistant's computer (which we supplied) stopped working within a month of purchase. Loaded with upgrades and programs, Terri hoped the store would swap drives or download it onto another computer. I scoffed: "This big box retailer has a heart of concrete. They'll want to exchange it, screw the programs, and us." Terri's has been on me about being negative, so I held back. And everything I thought would happen didn't. They weren't busy. They were helpful. They had another same model. Swapped our hard drive into it, three minutes, thank you sir. Terri may be onto something. 50 dolla later, that Toshiba is just like new, only with a very slightly-used heart again pumping mortgage data into the bloodstream of lenders so that deserving citizens can get their slice of the American Dream pie.
Excited by the thought of adding some snap to this letter with video via IPhone, I have been trying to figure out how to add it. I am behind the curve. Trying to get it to work in HD. if I can get it to show, it'll be a short short clip - an iBlink - and I will find something appropriately Holiday themed.
AH - here it is. Supposed to be in 720p. I can't be sure something didn't downrez it as it took me about two hours to get it in here in this "quality."
This year, again, our 'forever tree' will continue its timeless ways in the forever attic. There is one string of built-in apparently non-forever lights on it which don't light. Also, bringing it down the stairs is risky, as it wants to open and spear me. It's quite heavy, as forever weighs more than you might think.
Scientists have uncovered civilization near where Austin is, that dates back to 13,500 B.C. Back then most of the roads were dirt, and there wasn't even one traffic light! BTW, Austin is this city's professional name. Its first name was Waterloo. You can look it up. Now it's WaterLESS as our drought has sucked everything bone dry. Many of the docks on the lake now look like kids toys the day after Christmas: scattered all over the dry lakebed.
This may be the year to celebrate my new notoriety: says Amazon about me:
Reviews written: 4
Reviewer rank: 975,507
Helpful votes: 7 of 9
I have broken the million-reviewer-rank barrier. Happy dance! I am in the top 400,000 players of Angry Birds, too.
Meanwhile, over at HBO.com, today as I write this part, is CYBERmonday, and their "virtual agent" has gone goofy. She don’ understan’! On a related note, my car's voice activated-navigation control has also seemingly lost the ability to understand me. Not unlike Terri, or many others. “Cancel navigation” is in Wilton, Connecticut, says Audi’s Uhura*. (*Early Star Trek reference.)
This year on my birthday I will celebrate another milestone by having – and I'm not making this up – a back-to-back endoscopy and colonoscopy (actually, that'd be up-to-down.) I wanted to get it done on this year's medical insurance and that was the last date they had open. This is sort of like that golden spike moment of the joining of the halves of the intercontinental railroad. They knock you out so you don't feel or even remember the procedure, but do wake you up for the copay. And the knockout is via Propofol, recently in the news, as Michael Jackson's c-o-d. The Discovery Channel has expressed an interest. Seriously, there's apparently another way, but it costs a fortune and isn't covered by insurance. You actually swallow a camera (MUCH harder the other way.) The thing then travels along and sends back pictures. Everybody: "Eeeeuuuwww!"
Thanks for your understanding about our cardless Christmas – but at least you won't have that glitter stuck in your rug this year. It's a bummer that so many of our friends are scattered all across the country – we miss you and wish you Happy Trails Until We Meet Again.
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| Christmas 2011 - Bob and Terri Wood |
Sunday, December 11, 2011
TING TING A LING
Yesterday we went to Home Depot and Terri chose the perfect Christmas tree. A noble fir. Now it is in its new temporary home, our house, and bedecked with lights. We will wait until dark to see if the lights are sufficient and spread according to best known geometric practices. We have one more string which we can use if necessary.
The ting ting a ling of the title is the sound of the needles falling off.
The ting ting a ling of the title is the sound of the needles falling off.
Monday, December 05, 2011
SO WHAT HAVE I HEARD YOU ON?
When people learn I do voicework, that's the next sentence most say. And truthfully, I rarely can answer. It's an odd business. You do this and that, sometimes (like today) only part of something in which the other pieces don't yet exist, and when the piece shows, it may be for 'internal use' or at a convention of sales people or whatever. I rarely hear the finished version. Also, it's a global business. I've done stuff for as far away as South Africa. I would think there's be more commercial work, but commercials are just a small part of it. Some is acting, some is narrating.
I know a guy who was the voice of Benjamin Franklin at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia - my understanding is there's this sort-of-statue which comes alive and greets visitors. That's Dave.
Today the business runs on auditions. Getting the work is really the job - doing the voicework is the easy (and often fun) part.
I know a guy who was the voice of Benjamin Franklin at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia - my understanding is there's this sort-of-statue which comes alive and greets visitors. That's Dave.
Today the business runs on auditions. Getting the work is really the job - doing the voicework is the easy (and often fun) part.
Sunday, December 04, 2011
A MAN AND HIS TOYS
I am so happy with my IPhone 4s (versus the scummy Blackberry - watch RIM go out of business in a year or so!) and my IPad2 that my toy lust is well satisfied. It's amazing. I do fear that future - sans-Steve Jobs Apple products will not be as easy or elegant, but there's hope someone will keep the quality high.
I WILL go for the IPad 3, assuming there will be a market for used IPad 2s. Many think the next one will have a much better camera and display, and that's all it needs. I can live happily after ever then.
If I had a spare throwaway $35,000 (not in the (crystal ball) I would upgrade my stereo. I can't see that windfall happening.
Meanwhile, the thought occurs to me what if Steve Jobs controlled BluRay (in my opinion a stupidly flawed interface, slow loading, stupid features) it would be a whole other experience. For that matter, his insane push for perfection applied to CARS would have been something to see.
Ironically, Steve had a 'thing' for the Beatles, and he's one of the very few I would say ranked right up there alongside them in his own way.
I WILL go for the IPad 3, assuming there will be a market for used IPad 2s. Many think the next one will have a much better camera and display, and that's all it needs. I can live happily after ever then.
If I had a spare throwaway $35,000 (not in the (crystal ball) I would upgrade my stereo. I can't see that windfall happening.
Meanwhile, the thought occurs to me what if Steve Jobs controlled BluRay (in my opinion a stupidly flawed interface, slow loading, stupid features) it would be a whole other experience. For that matter, his insane push for perfection applied to CARS would have been something to see.
Ironically, Steve had a 'thing' for the Beatles, and he's one of the very few I would say ranked right up there alongside them in his own way.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
COMING SOON
This year we have decided to not send out Christmas Cards. This will be explained in another post, but for those who maybe see this, and care, I will post my annual Christmas Letter very soon. Since it usually gets a positive response, that's one tradition I hope to keep.
BTW: Humbugs have been seen mating with BEDbugs in NYC. Be careful where you sleep!
BTW: Humbugs have been seen mating with BEDbugs in NYC. Be careful where you sleep!
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
XMAS WISHES
We are thinking of not sending Christmas Cards this year. It seems so impersonal, then you might get one back and it is signed or printed with the senders' names... and nothing else. Xmas cards seem to be the lowest form of contact. This is part of the reason why I have been putting things (from glitter to Keep This Coupon coupons to a yearly spoof letter) inside - to have a longer moment of contact. Now with so many electronic devices and the ease of email, the costs of buying and stamping cards for that brief 5 seconds of contact... seems to be a waste of time.
Am I becoming curmudgeonly? Likely so.
Friendships mean more than ever to us, but not getting one from you doesn't strike you off the friend list. And hopefully if we send nothing you will still be our friend.
I can publish my letter - if there IS one - on this blog.
What do you think?
Am I becoming curmudgeonly? Likely so.
Friendships mean more than ever to us, but not getting one from you doesn't strike you off the friend list. And hopefully if we send nothing you will still be our friend.
I can publish my letter - if there IS one - on this blog.
What do you think?
Sunday, November 06, 2011
DUNKING FOR APPLES
I recently replaced my BlackBerry with an Apple IPhone 4s. I also have had an IPad 2 for some months.
What surprised me was how underwhelmed the IPhone left me. Yes, it's cool and way beyond the BBerry, but it just hasn't grabbed me the way the IPad does. I'm not sure why.
One thing the Apple folks need to do is to make it possible to delete all incoming emails all at once from either device. The way it is now, you have to choose each e, after which you then delete them all at once.
Trash works well - you can choose a group delete. Done! Since I receive emails - identical emails - on My Windows i7 computer, the IPad and IPhone, I have seen them by the time I get to the second device.
The IPhone camera is much better than the IPad one. When they release the next IPad device, if it has a better display resolution AND better camera, I will sell mine and move up. As far as I can tell, those two features will be addressed.
I bought an add-on device which will make either Pad or Phone a replacement for three of my remotes. It's called an L5. It's a tiny IR emitter. Setup isn't that much fun, but the result will be cool. I won't try to mirror the TiVo remote because I really work it, turning volume up or down many times in most shows or commercial breaks - or skip through them. Don't get me started on TV audio!
I just finished reading the Steve Jobs book on the IPad, which was somehow odd and appropriate.
What surprised me was how underwhelmed the IPhone left me. Yes, it's cool and way beyond the BBerry, but it just hasn't grabbed me the way the IPad does. I'm not sure why.
One thing the Apple folks need to do is to make it possible to delete all incoming emails all at once from either device. The way it is now, you have to choose each e, after which you then delete them all at once.
Trash works well - you can choose a group delete. Done! Since I receive emails - identical emails - on My Windows i7 computer, the IPad and IPhone, I have seen them by the time I get to the second device.
The IPhone camera is much better than the IPad one. When they release the next IPad device, if it has a better display resolution AND better camera, I will sell mine and move up. As far as I can tell, those two features will be addressed.
I bought an add-on device which will make either Pad or Phone a replacement for three of my remotes. It's called an L5. It's a tiny IR emitter. Setup isn't that much fun, but the result will be cool. I won't try to mirror the TiVo remote because I really work it, turning volume up or down many times in most shows or commercial breaks - or skip through them. Don't get me started on TV audio!
I just finished reading the Steve Jobs book on the IPad, which was somehow odd and appropriate.
Sunday, October 09, 2011
TOO LATE!
I let my subscription to Esquire expire.
Saturday they sent me an issue as a come-on to re-up. In it was a writer's contest to celebrate their 78th anniversary. The story you submit must be just 78 words long. It gnawed on me for a day and I thought maybe I'd give it a whirl. Then I reread the rules and deadline for entries was midnight, two days ago.
I wrote two, and stopped tweaking them, or finishing the second, after I realized I was too late. But so as not to waste:
The 52nd President strode to the AT&T podium to address the three houses of congress. "Members of congress, Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, honored guests from Exxon-Mobile, I come to you on this auspicious occasion to celebrate our latest budget reduction initiative. Starting this March, our paper currency will contain logos from patriot blue chip companies who have purchased space to help reduce our national debt. This is truly a great day for Walmart's United States of America!"
On the day the fish swam away, Pedro's net pulled up empty. He cursed God under his breath while making the sign of the cross, then kissing the silver Virgin Mary medal which had hung around his neck since his baptism. He scanned the horizon, and what appeared to be clouds were thousands of gulls, flying as one, away from land. As his oars dipped, they were unable to gain purchase as the sea had begun to effervesce.
I don't think the second story had a shot. I think they wanted a beginning, middle, and end. The first story is probably too jokey.
Well, heck.
Saturday they sent me an issue as a come-on to re-up. In it was a writer's contest to celebrate their 78th anniversary. The story you submit must be just 78 words long. It gnawed on me for a day and I thought maybe I'd give it a whirl. Then I reread the rules and deadline for entries was midnight, two days ago.
I wrote two, and stopped tweaking them, or finishing the second, after I realized I was too late. But so as not to waste:
The 52nd President strode to the AT&T podium to address the three houses of congress. "Members of congress, Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, honored guests from Exxon-Mobile, I come to you on this auspicious occasion to celebrate our latest budget reduction initiative. Starting this March, our paper currency will contain logos from patriot blue chip companies who have purchased space to help reduce our national debt. This is truly a great day for Walmart's United States of America!"
On the day the fish swam away, Pedro's net pulled up empty. He cursed God under his breath while making the sign of the cross, then kissing the silver Virgin Mary medal which had hung around his neck since his baptism. He scanned the horizon, and what appeared to be clouds were thousands of gulls, flying as one, away from land. As his oars dipped, they were unable to gain purchase as the sea had begun to effervesce.
I don't think the second story had a shot. I think they wanted a beginning, middle, and end. The first story is probably too jokey.
Well, heck.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
LIMIT THE ADS
Watch TV? The crawls and 'bugs' (logo in corner) are creeping into more and more of a program. The animations are getting larger, too. You're really into a drama, and now Mike and Molly come dancing in at 1/5 size along with text to tout their show. It's visual pollution! It seems to be on the increase too, in size, duration, and frequency.
On the internet, yes, sometimes you have to pay a penalty and are forced to watch a commercial before what you tried to see. But I just endured one where the commercial was seemingly as long as the feature I was after! On TV I believe you are forced to watch 8 minutes of commercials per 30 minute show. Most radio stations run between 14 to 16 minutes of commercials an hour.
We use TiVo. Record most everything, and speed through the commercials. Want to get rich? Invent the same for web-based ads! And to be fair: I will stop and watch a commercial more than once if I really like it.
On the internet, yes, sometimes you have to pay a penalty and are forced to watch a commercial before what you tried to see. But I just endured one where the commercial was seemingly as long as the feature I was after! On TV I believe you are forced to watch 8 minutes of commercials per 30 minute show. Most radio stations run between 14 to 16 minutes of commercials an hour.
We use TiVo. Record most everything, and speed through the commercials. Want to get rich? Invent the same for web-based ads! And to be fair: I will stop and watch a commercial more than once if I really like it.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
POLITICS
What's the latest approval rating down to? And isn't that very question a statement in itself? I think it was 17% for Congress. Uh, no, Gallup says I'm wrong:
"Congressional job approval is now 15%, up slightly from the record-tying low of 13% recorded in August, while disapproval is 82%, compared with 84% last month."
Obama was at 43%.
What I can't figure is how members of congress must not think it applies to THEM; they point at the other side and hurl invective at them. Hey, it's ALL OF YOU. You aren't getting the job done.
I say start over. Throw everyone out. Set term limits. Ban lobbyists altogether. I guess that a complete clean sweep would allow some boobs in, for sure, but the bonds with special interests would (hopefully) be broken, the influence-peddlers having to also start over, and in the time that took, maybe common sense from non-professional politicians would cause more good than bad. More action than inaction. More consensus than partisanship.
You all are embarrassing.
And for those candidates that stand there in debates and lie, who make things up, I'd like to have them all wired to a truth meter and cattle prod. Each mis-truth gets a shot. Each successive mis-truth gets more voltage. This idea isn't an electric chair type thing - the amperage would be low. Maybe after ONE outing, truth would prevail.
"Congressional job approval is now 15%, up slightly from the record-tying low of 13% recorded in August, while disapproval is 82%, compared with 84% last month."
Obama was at 43%.
What I can't figure is how members of congress must not think it applies to THEM; they point at the other side and hurl invective at them. Hey, it's ALL OF YOU. You aren't getting the job done.
I say start over. Throw everyone out. Set term limits. Ban lobbyists altogether. I guess that a complete clean sweep would allow some boobs in, for sure, but the bonds with special interests would (hopefully) be broken, the influence-peddlers having to also start over, and in the time that took, maybe common sense from non-professional politicians would cause more good than bad. More action than inaction. More consensus than partisanship.
You all are embarrassing.
And for those candidates that stand there in debates and lie, who make things up, I'd like to have them all wired to a truth meter and cattle prod. Each mis-truth gets a shot. Each successive mis-truth gets more voltage. This idea isn't an electric chair type thing - the amperage would be low. Maybe after ONE outing, truth would prevail.
Friday, September 09, 2011
ADVERTISING...
To get ready for a voiceover session I printed out the script a day early. I could rehearse and be well prepared.
Unfortunately the fan was on high because we are in the worst heat and drought, and it blew the script onto the floor.
The dog decided, "If it's paper and on the floor, I can take a dump on it." So she did.
By the time I discovered the smell and the target, it was starting to dry. I tried to scrape it off, was only semi-successful, but the inkjet ink isn't permanent so some words were blurry or obscured.
The printer stopped working, because when it is out of ONE ink color, it stops altogether to force you to the store to buy more.
I can't read off the screen because the microphone is in another room, and I lost the email and there isn't time to find it.
The producer calls and we begin.
In mid-spot I stumble over words I can't really see, and mumble something about "this crap." The producer hears this and launches in on me as being a spoiled, overpaid, prima-donna who is lucky to get ANY work, let alone this spot, and how dare I attack what has been put together by some of the finest minds in advertising?
Then I wake up.
Unfortunately the fan was on high because we are in the worst heat and drought, and it blew the script onto the floor.
The dog decided, "If it's paper and on the floor, I can take a dump on it." So she did.
By the time I discovered the smell and the target, it was starting to dry. I tried to scrape it off, was only semi-successful, but the inkjet ink isn't permanent so some words were blurry or obscured.
The printer stopped working, because when it is out of ONE ink color, it stops altogether to force you to the store to buy more.
I can't read off the screen because the microphone is in another room, and I lost the email and there isn't time to find it.
The producer calls and we begin.
In mid-spot I stumble over words I can't really see, and mumble something about "this crap." The producer hears this and launches in on me as being a spoiled, overpaid, prima-donna who is lucky to get ANY work, let alone this spot, and how dare I attack what has been put together by some of the finest minds in advertising?
Then I wake up.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
DEAR DIARY
That's what blogs are - today's diaries. I wonder if kids still keep them locked from their parents or open online for all to see.
I must admit, I understand, but don't 'get' twitter. I guess my social needs aren't on a par with those who tweet everything they do or think. And there are some adults who treat Facebook the same way... one guy I know posts "Good Night All" regularly. Way too nothing, there, though he's a nice guy in real life.
I stare at the top line in Facebook and think I should say/write something, but rarely does it meet my "Who'd give a darn?" filter. But then I am not the type of guy who enjoys multitasking. I tend to go straight to the goal. Watching TV? I watch. I don't want to converse by any means with the world online at the same time. If online I don't wish distraction via radio. Don't get me started on today's radio!
I am addicted to my IPad, and find many ways to entertain myself on it, but linearly, i.e.: one thing at a time, thank you. Skype on IPad works well and I enjoy it with or without the video! After a while staring at myself staring at them, though, I become self-conscious.
Imagine the instant communication taps which will change the way today's youth will interact with each other and the world as they grow! Will it DEpersonalize or Amplify a sense of belonging? Will it make those on the fringe feel special or left out? Remember the High Tech /High Touch theory? Are we now at the intersection of both? Or is high touch - human real time, real life interaction even more important?
Seems to me that one thing all this connectedness has brought on is an ease of hostility and polarity. Note the political parties playing the media with rancor and drum beats. Either there's a lot less civility and cooperation or the partisanship was always there but invisible.
I must admit, I understand, but don't 'get' twitter. I guess my social needs aren't on a par with those who tweet everything they do or think. And there are some adults who treat Facebook the same way... one guy I know posts "Good Night All" regularly. Way too nothing, there, though he's a nice guy in real life.
I stare at the top line in Facebook and think I should say/write something, but rarely does it meet my "Who'd give a darn?" filter. But then I am not the type of guy who enjoys multitasking. I tend to go straight to the goal. Watching TV? I watch. I don't want to converse by any means with the world online at the same time. If online I don't wish distraction via radio. Don't get me started on today's radio!
I am addicted to my IPad, and find many ways to entertain myself on it, but linearly, i.e.: one thing at a time, thank you. Skype on IPad works well and I enjoy it with or without the video! After a while staring at myself staring at them, though, I become self-conscious.
Imagine the instant communication taps which will change the way today's youth will interact with each other and the world as they grow! Will it DEpersonalize or Amplify a sense of belonging? Will it make those on the fringe feel special or left out? Remember the High Tech /High Touch theory? Are we now at the intersection of both? Or is high touch - human real time, real life interaction even more important?
Seems to me that one thing all this connectedness has brought on is an ease of hostility and polarity. Note the political parties playing the media with rancor and drum beats. Either there's a lot less civility and cooperation or the partisanship was always there but invisible.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
FACEBOOK ISN'T TWITTER
...and a blog isn't FACEBOOK. I have less to write that I used to - mellow due to the unusual heat here? We are over 5 TIMES normal for the number of 100+ degree days this spring and summer.
Some people I follow post things on FB like, "Good Night!" Uh.
I put a new profile picture up on FB and got several nice comments from some friends I miss, but don't have a lot of back-and-forth with. That felt good. Thank you. The picture was taken for a voicework site, as I formerly had a golden microphone instead of my bald head, and I figured if they'd like the voice, they'd idealize the face to their own preference. But I was talked out of that, as "it's a people business." I'll put it here too.
Some people I follow post things on FB like, "Good Night!" Uh.
I put a new profile picture up on FB and got several nice comments from some friends I miss, but don't have a lot of back-and-forth with. That felt good. Thank you. The picture was taken for a voicework site, as I formerly had a golden microphone instead of my bald head, and I figured if they'd like the voice, they'd idealize the face to their own preference. But I was talked out of that, as "it's a people business." I'll put it here too.
Friday, July 22, 2011
WAITING
I am waiting for a script revision so that I can record it. My client DID say "in the morning" but his morning and mine may be different. I am grateful for the work, whenever it comes.
Recently I found out that one of the games I have done a character for has 20,000,000 players (online, not all at once.) I get a real kick out of doing these things which have some kind of wide play. You never know WHO will hear you.
While thinking about business, I think it's almost time to redo my demos (strings of short samples of different approaches to similar work.) Why redo them? Maybe it's the belief that new stuff is always better. The urge to tinker. Freshen. Show-off.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
ROADRUNNER OR ROADKILL?
The story takes place with a 'live chat.'
User Bob_ has entered room
Analyst has entered room
Analyst Mattew has entered room
Analyst has left room
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:12:54 CDT 2011)>
Hello! Thank you for choosing Road Runner Internet Technical Chat Support. My name is Mattew, how may I assist you?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:13:18 CDT 2011)>
Hello. My friend in Tennessee has tried numerous times to send me emails and they never make it nor do they bounce back to him.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:13:34 CDT 2011)>
Could it be the isp is blocked? dtccom.net
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:13:56 CDT 2011)>
Can you be more specific with the issue?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:14:03 CDT 2011)>
I don't receive emails he sends me.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:14:23 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:14:30 CDT 2011)>
I can help you with that.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:15:17 CDT 2011)>
Are you using Web mail or Email client(outlook)
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:15:35 CDT 2011)>
I use Windows Live Mail.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:15:53 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:16:32 CDT 2011)>
Are you able to send a mail?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:16:40 CDT 2011)>
Yes. He gets mine.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:16:59 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:17:00 CDT 2011)>
This is only from this fellow.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:17:25 CDT 2011)>
And it seems rather recent, as in several days to a week now.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:17:31 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:18:23 CDT 2011)>
Please send a test mail to your self and check it once.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:19:15 CDT 2011)>
Works fine. This is only from that one person.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:19:34 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:19:46 CDT 2011)>
I get many emails all day - but his have stopped when he uses dtccom.net
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:19:57 CDT 2011)>
When he uses webmail I get them.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:20:44 CDT 2011)>
Can you please login to the webmail.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:21:01 CDT 2011)>
I don't know how and don't really want to, either.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:21:47 CDT 2011)>
It may be blocked in your junk mails in your web mail.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:22:46 CDT 2011)>
You aren't quite following me. I use Windows Live Mail. When HE sends emails to me, I haven't been receiving them UNLESS he uses webmail as his source. When he doesn't, I don't receive them (but I used to.)
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:23:11 CDT 2011)>
They are not in Junk mail. I receive emails on three devices, so it's not 'my computer.'
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:23:50 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:24:01 CDT 2011)>
Please give me a moment.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:24:13 CDT 2011)>
I keep emailing him (which he receives) saying I don't see your answers to my questions - he responds that he's repeatedly sent them.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:26:59 CDT 2011)>
Please mark the "leave a copy on the server".
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:27:20 CDT 2011)>
Let me know the results once you have done with that.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:27:28 CDT 2011)>
And WHERE would I do that?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:28:10 CDT 2011)>
I will help you with that.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:28:25 CDT 2011)>
Please give me a moment.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:32:46 CDT 2011)>
Please give me some more time to resolve this issue.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:32:56 CDT 2011)>
isps sometimes block other isps. Can you check if his is blocked and if so can you unblock for me?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:36:50 CDT 2011)>
Please open accounts tab-> Properties-> Advanced tab.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:37:17 CDT 2011)>
You can find the "leave a copy on the server".
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:38:19 CDT 2011)>
It IS AND HAS BEEN SET THAT WAY
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:38:39 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:41:24 CDT 2011)>
Let me know whether you can receive the mails from the person in webmail?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:41:31 CDT 2011)>
yes
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:42:40 CDT 2011)>
He has two computers. His BUSINESS computer is the one from which emails have stopped coming TO ME. As far as I kinow, only to me. His laptop uses webmail and I get them, just like always.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:43:43 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:44:33 CDT 2011)>
He does not receive 'undeliverable' notifications.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:45:32 CDT 2011)>
... which leads me to wonder if TW has blocked his ISP?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:46:55 CDT 2011)>
Can I access your computer remotely?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:47:05 CDT 2011)>
Why?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:47:16 CDT 2011)>
To do what?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:48:09 CDT 2011)>
So that I can check were the problem is?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:48:07 CDT 2011)>
It isn't my computer. It's my Blackberry and my IPad also... all of which used to get his messages.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:48:24 CDT 2011)>
I am uncomfortable allowing you access.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:48:42 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:48:49 CDT 2011)>
Please give me a moment.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:56:01 CDT 2011)> (Almost 8 minutes later)
Thank you for your patience.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:56:53 CDT 2011)>
TWC does not block any isp.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:58:38 CDT 2011)>
How ever there would be a problem in the settings of your friends please ask him to delete his junk mails.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:58:56 CDT 2011)>
I will. What else?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:59:51 CDT 2011)>
That's it. it works if you delete the junk mail blocks.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 16:00:25 CDT 2011)>
Is there anything else I can help you with?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 15:00:40 CDT 2011)>
No. Thank you.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 16:01:26 CDT 2011)>
My pleasure chatting with you.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 15:01:30 CDT 2011)>
So you are saying HIS junk mail settings blocks HIM sending ME an email? (The answer was Yes.)
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 16:01:35 CDT 2011)>
For more information about the products and services offered by Road Runner, you can visit this link anytime to get more help and knowledge : http://help.rr.com and check for online tutorials, FAQs and more details about Road Runner features.
And our story ends with no resolution. Have a nice day!
User Bob_ has entered room
Analyst has entered room
Analyst Mattew has entered room
Analyst has left room
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:12:54 CDT 2011)>
Hello! Thank you for choosing Road Runner Internet Technical Chat Support. My name is Mattew, how may I assist you?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:13:18 CDT 2011)>
Hello. My friend in Tennessee has tried numerous times to send me emails and they never make it nor do they bounce back to him.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:13:34 CDT 2011)>
Could it be the isp is blocked? dtccom.net
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:13:56 CDT 2011)>
Can you be more specific with the issue?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:14:03 CDT 2011)>
I don't receive emails he sends me.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:14:23 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:14:30 CDT 2011)>
I can help you with that.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:15:17 CDT 2011)>
Are you using Web mail or Email client(outlook)
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:15:35 CDT 2011)>
I use Windows Live Mail.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:15:53 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:16:32 CDT 2011)>
Are you able to send a mail?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:16:40 CDT 2011)>
Yes. He gets mine.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:16:59 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:17:00 CDT 2011)>
This is only from this fellow.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:17:25 CDT 2011)>
And it seems rather recent, as in several days to a week now.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:17:31 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:18:23 CDT 2011)>
Please send a test mail to your self and check it once.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:19:15 CDT 2011)>
Works fine. This is only from that one person.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:19:34 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:19:46 CDT 2011)>
I get many emails all day - but his have stopped when he uses dtccom.net
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:19:57 CDT 2011)>
When he uses webmail I get them.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:20:44 CDT 2011)>
Can you please login to the webmail.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:21:01 CDT 2011)>
I don't know how and don't really want to, either.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:21:47 CDT 2011)>
It may be blocked in your junk mails in your web mail.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:22:46 CDT 2011)>
You aren't quite following me. I use Windows Live Mail. When HE sends emails to me, I haven't been receiving them UNLESS he uses webmail as his source. When he doesn't, I don't receive them (but I used to.)
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:23:11 CDT 2011)>
They are not in Junk mail. I receive emails on three devices, so it's not 'my computer.'
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:23:50 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:24:01 CDT 2011)>
Please give me a moment.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:24:13 CDT 2011)>
I keep emailing him (which he receives) saying I don't see your answers to my questions - he responds that he's repeatedly sent them.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:26:59 CDT 2011)>
Please mark the "leave a copy on the server".
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:27:20 CDT 2011)>
Let me know the results once you have done with that.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:27:28 CDT 2011)>
And WHERE would I do that?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:28:10 CDT 2011)>
I will help you with that.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:28:25 CDT 2011)>
Please give me a moment.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:32:46 CDT 2011)>
Please give me some more time to resolve this issue.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:32:56 CDT 2011)>
isps sometimes block other isps. Can you check if his is blocked and if so can you unblock for me?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:36:50 CDT 2011)>
Please open accounts tab-> Properties-> Advanced tab.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:37:17 CDT 2011)>
You can find the "leave a copy on the server".
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:38:19 CDT 2011)>
It IS AND HAS BEEN SET THAT WAY
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:38:39 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:41:24 CDT 2011)>
Let me know whether you can receive the mails from the person in webmail?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:41:31 CDT 2011)>
yes
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:42:40 CDT 2011)>
He has two computers. His BUSINESS computer is the one from which emails have stopped coming TO ME. As far as I kinow, only to me. His laptop uses webmail and I get them, just like always.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:43:43 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:44:33 CDT 2011)>
He does not receive 'undeliverable' notifications.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:45:32 CDT 2011)>
... which leads me to wonder if TW has blocked his ISP?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:46:55 CDT 2011)>
Can I access your computer remotely?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:47:05 CDT 2011)>
Why?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:47:16 CDT 2011)>
To do what?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:48:09 CDT 2011)>
So that I can check were the problem is?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:48:07 CDT 2011)>
It isn't my computer. It's my Blackberry and my IPad also... all of which used to get his messages.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:48:24 CDT 2011)>
I am uncomfortable allowing you access.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:48:42 CDT 2011)>
Okay.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:48:49 CDT 2011)>
Please give me a moment.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:56:01 CDT 2011)> (Almost 8 minutes later)
Thank you for your patience.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:56:53 CDT 2011)>
TWC does not block any isp.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:58:38 CDT 2011)>
How ever there would be a problem in the settings of your friends please ask him to delete his junk mails.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 14:58:56 CDT 2011)>
I will. What else?
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 15:59:51 CDT 2011)>
That's it. it works if you delete the junk mail blocks.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 16:00:25 CDT 2011)>
Is there anything else I can help you with?
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 15:00:40 CDT 2011)>
No. Thank you.
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 16:01:26 CDT 2011)>
My pleasure chatting with you.
Bob_(Wed Jul 13 15:01:30 CDT 2011)>
So you are saying HIS junk mail settings blocks HIM sending ME an email? (The answer was Yes.)
Mattew(Wed Jul 13 16:01:35 CDT 2011)>
For more information about the products and services offered by Road Runner, you can visit this link anytime to get more help and knowledge : http://help.rr.com and check for online tutorials, FAQs and more details about Road Runner features.
And our story ends with no resolution. Have a nice day!
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