Was the headline on page A20 of today's Austin American-Statesman. Nice. I had already eaten pages A-1 through A-19 as an excellent source of fiber, to help prevent colorectal cancer! I had been shredding the paper and eating it with milk and a spoonful of brown sugar ever since they stopped using Lead-Based and switched to Soy-Based ink.
This story is from today's Journal of The American Medical Association, so you know it must be true.
So now it's a free for all in junk food land.
All over the Austinworld, all three kids who read the paper as deep as page A-20 will rejoice. Mom was wrong. No more pencil shavings for lunch! No more broccoli. (And have you ever noticed how E Coli bears a strange brotherhood with the spelling of Broccoli anyway? Mighty suspicious!)
It seems like everything is topsy turvy (which fails an SUV in Rollover Tests by the Insurance Institute of America)... what was good is usually discovered to be bad, what was bad is now good. This doesn't explain why NBC banned a video snippet of Pamela Anderson pole dancing in an Elton John video.
Me, I've been suspicious of authority ever since I didn't go blind.
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