Friday, January 01, 2010


With the new rules and restrictions placed by the TSA on flights and passengers, especially the "stay seated one hour before landing," there's a huge opportunity for another niche airline - one with pre-pre-screened travelers who might be allowed to potty due to their advanced age.

Heck, I don't care if you put a camera in the bathroom. When ya gotta go, you gotta go! I have been on some flights where they make you sit for way too long due to brief turbulence - actually, I think they make you sit initially, then forget to tell you it's "safe" to walk about the cabin.

And so you hold it and hold it and then your plane lands and taxis to the farthest gate which it turns out isn't ready yet because there's another plane in it and so you sit and sit and then they slowly tug that plane out of the way and your plane slowly moves up - you are in seat 20d and the travelling feebs all stand at once but then the flight attendants loudly remind everyone "we haven't docked at the gate and to be re-seated" and then we eventually do dock "DING!" and then all jump up to be cramped in the aisles grabbing luggage and then we wait again because the gate attendant hasn't moved the Jetway yet and then when that dude gets back from his break and they crack the door, the feebs shuffle oh-so-slowly. Meanwhile my kidneys are, shall I say, "unforgiving?"

I appreciate the need for advanced security, but... "when ya gotta go ya gotta go."

Oh - and to the people who complain about the new generation of scanners invading their privacy? I say: "TAKE A BUS."

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