POISON MILK?

Poinsettia (Brand) Milk - I see the gallon in our fridge. Isn't Poinsettia poison? Or is it just poison to dogs? Interesting marketing. How about GREAT MILK? Or HAPPY COW MILK? What's next? Poison Ivy Milk?

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I got a call the other day declaring me recipient of a National Leadership Award. I was supposed to call back right away to arrange details. I passed. Scamaliciousness! I assume they wanted a contribution or were selling certificates framed for all to see the grand glory of the award. Uh huh. Meanwhile I have won a few more lotteries I never entered ("of all the email addresses in the world, we chose YOURS!") And the South Africans are after me big time to help them transfer the estate of the poor family killed (tragically, even the grandkids) in a plane wreck. I'm not clear why they would want to get the money out of the country, but they'll give me 20% of the 26 million just for caring (and providing some personal details.) Do you get these things? I get many - sometimes several a week. "Dear Kind Person..." "Generous citizen"... "Be informed that a member of the South Africa Export Promotion Council (SEPC) who was at the Government delegation to your country during a trade exhibition gave your enviable credentials/particulars to me." ----
maybe enough of these add up to a National Leadership Award?

Get this one:
"After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address attached to serial number 25-6565 drew the lucky numbers 6-13-18-24-33-39 which consequently emerged you as one of first fifty (10) lucky winners in this category." First fifty (10). Hmmmm.
This one wins me 1,000,000 Euros, which are worth more than a buck these days. A buck .3240 to be precise. (The .0040 doesn't matter to you, but to me, I get to multiply by a million!)

And when it rains, it pours!
"Happy New year Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice, the results of the First Category draws of THE LOTTO NL. PROMO INT. We are happy to inform you that you have emerged as a winner under the First Category, which is part of our promotional draws. The draws are being officially announced today 18th,January 2007. Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 5,000,000 email addresses of individuals and companies from around the world as part of our International Promotion Program.

Your e-mail address, attached to ticket number 70985, with serial number 002-7877 and lucky number P-23517-H91/A6 consequently won in the First Category. You have therefore been awarded a PRIZE sum pay out of 2,500,000.00 (Two Million five hundred Euros)"
Imagine - it tokk the e mail address to get the ticket number, then the special serial number, and then the winning lucky number. That's like infinity to one odds! I think I'll keep the two million and give the 500 to the lottery model at the check presentation.

GOOD DAY,

I am Barrister Rose Adams personal Attorney to Ronald Lake, On the 31st of January 2000, my client and his wife Joyce Lake were involved in a Plane Crash (Alaska Airlines Flight 261) all passengers unfortunately lost their lives, since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my client's extended relatives but this proved unsuccessful.

Since it is not compulsory that the Next-of-Kin must be a blood relation to the deceased, hence I contacted you, be informed that a Next-of-Kin can be anybody, friends or organization etc.

Presently, the Bank where the deceased (my client) had a Deposit valued at US$8, 34700, 000 000 Million issued me a notice to provide the Next-of-Kin to my client to receive its benefit or have the account confiscated... Lettsee, that's 834, 700,000,000 Million which is 834 billion million (rounded off.) That would be
834,000,000,000,000,000. Scrooge McDuck stuff.

I am so lucky. It all began with free AOL CDs... I'd get them in the most unexpected places... with lots and lots of free hours, just for me!