Monday, October 17, 2005

Missing Microphone

When we moved in January, I lost track of my professional microphone - a $1000 item. It was packed in an anonymous box in another box and I seriously doubt if the packers had the time or inclination or desire to swipe it.

And yet, it's missing in inaction.

Sitting in a hidey-hole under the stairs is a low ceilinged closet in which till just a few minutes ago, is my record collection in boxes. Each box weighs about - oh - 60 pounds, and there are 15 of them representing 20 linear feet of record albums. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A RECORD PLAYER!!! I've moved to CDs and SACDs and not looked back. Still, these are/were favorites, one day I hope to return to vinyl or sell the lot for some pirate's bounty!

Well, it's just been WEARING on me that I can't find that darn microphone (used for auditions for voice work:) Agent E mails script, I record in my studio, MP3 back. Neat. I've been using a vintage mic which is pretty good, but not the same as the really good one which is hiding somewhere in the last of the unopened boxes. Boxes like... the record album boxes.

So, resolve in hand, or wherever resolve resides, I decided to invade that cramped space and open those boxes. The albums were in the same vicinity as the microphone in the old home.

WHAP! Forget to duck! #1 Scalp de bald man.

Moving these boxes is hard when stooped (and not much easier when standing!)

I cut the tape on boxes 1 through 4. WHAP #2. Ouch. Forgot to duck again. Welt on!

And... WHAP #3 - this time I didn't bend down enough to crawl INTO the closet. Two OUT whaps - one IN WHAP! if you are keeping score. I didn't see stars but did see an Andy Gibb album.

...13, 14, it's gotta be, nooooo... not in 15... not in any of them. I move them back in, stacking and jeopardizing my back with each lift. Happily, no more whaps, but I'se bin slapped upside the hade a time or two 'n' been sweatin' hard all de livelong 30 minutes. Somewhere deep in a box in a box, the microphone defies the laws of this physical universe, and laughs.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

BOBBER!

Can you hear me now...can you....

THINK OUTSIDE THE B-O-X!

I'm out of lame-ass cliches', but good luck on finding Mr. Mike! Now, what were you going to do with it?

...I'll be 'listening'! If I hear the sounds of falling boxes and collapsing veterbrae ("overload Captain..."), then we'll KNOW how your mike-quest worked out!

Good Luck! Your faithful reader;

Willy B

(aka; "Better Heard, Not Seen"...oh; sorry...:-)

Bob Wood said...

I think that it - an AKG 414, btw - must be a Christmas decoration because I believe they are the only boxes left to rip apart. It has been too hot in the attic to go there. On a quick run through, I found a mouse in a trap up there which was TOAST, literally.