Overlooked ways for Airlines to save money

Recently there was a survey of which service and amenities various airlines have decided to cut back as they try to stay afloat. You want an airline to stay afloat in case of a water landing, so it's important.

But ANY CEO can slash the pillow 'n' blanket budget. The pretzel killer at Northwest Airlines, my wife read to me over Sunday breakfast, will save $2,000,000 a year. That's real out-of-the- box forward thinking!

But these guys can't see the forest for the clouds.

You go to an airport - ANY airport, and you see the elderly and infirmed being golf carted from here to there. Hey - hello - TAXI? Charge it!

Sell advertising on the sign boards: Flt 1142 - BUFFALO - Home of The GATEWAY TO CANADA, for example. Let Canada help subsidize. They can do more than pump bubbles into Canada Dry.

Want to sit and wait for that plane that was delayed leaving Covington? Seats: $2.50.

Sell logo space on the uniforms. If NASCAR, the most popular spectator sport, can do it, airlines can. Think Febreeze would like to sell FRESH AIR in the air? Think FTD would like to get on a pilot uniform? Or UPS? Or Maytag repair?

Why not advertising on the overhead bins like a bus? "XM - we're up here so you can listen down there!" "Dial Soap - because you fly, and the seats are small." "Chiropractic USA - now in all major airports - to help you walk erect again after your flight."

Why not sell logo space on the airplane itself? A silver wing is a wasted opportunity.

Why not pay toilets? Why NOT?

Stop washing the planes for god's sake. FLY THROUGH RAIN.

Monetize the oxygen masks.

Get rid of flight attendants. Make the seating like on roller coasters. It won't go if you aren't strapped in.

Sell :15 second announcements before and after the pilot speaks to tell you the gate isn't ready. People pay attention. Sell that attention.

"This important pilot announcement is brought to you by..."

Gee, this isn't hard.