Snakes and ladders?

I swear this is true. Every word.

Yesterday I was in the Self-Chem store, a pool-chemical franchise. Imagine the hippies lining up at the door in the early '70s. But I digress.

As I browsed, seeking the diatomacious earth (filter powder), and the colostomy bag for Freddie, our pool cleaner on wheels, I overheard a story. The guy was looking for snake killer. While the clerk was looking in the back for Instant Snake Death and Lawyer Hurt, I said to the guy - a cowboy type - "snake trouble?" --- I am NOT making this up --- And he said, "yeah, last night I was falling asleep and my wife was watching TV in bed and she says, "I see a snake." Then she says "I SEE A SNAKE!" The she says "I SEE A SNAKE CLIMBING THE WALL" and then she's hitting me and screaming." I say, "Climbing the wall??? How do they do that? He says, "Well, it's a chicken snake, looks like a rattler but they climb trees too..."

I ran shrieking like a school girl at recess.

Okay, I made that part up about shrieking.

I was so ASTOUNDED I didn't even ask what he did. I told him I hate snakes and he said he didn't take to 'em much, either.

Screw FEAR FACTOR, this is real life over here!