Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Tooth, Justice, and the American Way

The adventure continues! A new dentist in a new city. My trust bank account is as empty as my anxiety bank account is full. For three months I have been unable to chew on one side. My cure: wait it out. This usually works, but this was by far the longest run. We also waited for Terri's insurance to kick in, since I am without pedigree just now. I saw the doc a month ago, he took X-rays and said, "you bet, yes indeed, and YOW!" as I bit him, while he probed with the instrument of pain. Then said, "make an appointment this'll take some time good to meet you," and ran off to the next cubicle. A month passes... and so does the pain. FINALLY. But, since X-ray found decay (nice term), I kept the appointment.

Meanwhile, while waiting for that appointment to roll around, one day I found a chunk of what looked like tooth in my pablum. It could have fallen from the pablum factory ceiling into the vat, but gee, sure looked like tooth. Or maybe old piano key. Pablum - piano key - not a likely match. Maybe tooth.

I mentioned this to the doc, and he looked - "Yeah, a big chunk missing." But that'll take another appointment we don't have time today you want the bottom or the top fixed?" He then discovered some extra time on the books and agreed to 'do' both my problems all at once.

My deal: you don't get into my mouth without gas. And you can tell when it's right, because the pointer is pointing at MAX. Okay, then, here's a snoutful.

Nitrous Oxide Thoughts while squirming:

Why am I still in the room? I've had other dentists launch me with gas. I'm still here.

The drill sounds like someone screaming into hell. Make it stop.

I smell burning tooth.

How do you know the dentist is any good...? There's no way to know. Not when he's new to you.

What if this guy finished dead last in class?

Why does he or the assistant keep hitting my front tooth with something metal?

This feels like he's doing Mount Rushmore in there.

That gagging sound must be me.

Heard while squirming:

"I'll have to start working out - This guy's got quite a tongue muscle."

"Open" - you mean two hands IN my mouth ISN'T open?

"Open"

"Open"

And the needles. Geez... I felt a squirt in my nose. Then my chin! Meanwhile my feet are trying to walk up air at the bottom of the chair, but there's no traction. What's that taste? Burning tire? No, CLOVE and burning tire.

Well, it's over now. The zombie lip has softened, the tinglies have departed, and my jaw hurts.

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